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The video itself remains the source of truth.
The Philippines offers a unique blend of community, connection, and personal growth opportunities that can be particularly appealing to Western men seeking a more fulfilling life abroad.
The video welcomes new subscribers, many of whom are coming from channels like 'Mike's Philippine Retirement' and 'Old Dog New Tricks,' highlighting the value of mentors like Mike and Paul. The host discusses the therapeutic aspects of living in the Philippines, emphasizing the strong sense of community and social connection available in places like Dumaguete. He contrasts the 'how-to' approach of Mike with the storytelling of Paul, both of whom have provided valuable insights.
The host shares personal experiences in Dumaguete, describing the balance between solitude and social interaction, and highlights the charm of the city, including places like Robinson's Mall. He also touches upon the potential pitfalls of expat life, cautioning against 'narcissistic expats' and emphasizing the importance of adaptation and patience when navigating cultural differences and service expectations. The discussion extends to the respect for elders and the wisdom they impart, a contrast to the perceived disposability of older individuals in Western societies.
The conversation delves into the appeal of the Philippines for Western men, discussing the romantic culture, the younger demographic, and the higher likelihood of finding a compatible partner compared to the West. The host also addresses potential next steps, weighing options between visiting a friend in Malibal City or meeting a woman in Cebu, and touches upon the challenges and considerations of starting a family abroad. Finally, the host encourages viewers to consider the Philippines for a 'discovery trip,' suggesting a multi-city itinerary to experience its diverse offerings, from bustling cities to natural beauty and marine life.
The Philippines offers western men a unique blend of strong community and social connection, often more so than in Western cultures. It provides opportunities for personal growth, healing, and a rich cultural experience.
Expat life in the Philippines involves adapting to local customs and showing patience and respect for cultural differences. While offering social connections and romantic possibilities, it's wise to be aware of other expats and maintain boundaries.
Successful adaptation requires patience and a deep respect for local customs and traditions. Understanding and valuing the respect for elders is also a key aspect of integrating into Filipino society.
Yes, the Philippines is often seen as a place with a vibrant romantic culture, potentially offering more opportunities for western men seeking compatible partners compared to Western countries. Larger cities may present more options.
Retiring in the Philippines can offer a fulfilling life with strong community ties and a rich cultural tapestry. It's a place for personal healing and growth, with diverse landscapes and social interactions.
Key advice for moving to the Philippines includes embracing adaptation, exercising patience, and showing respect for local customs. Being cautious of certain expat behaviors and maintaining personal boundaries is also important.
Live chats are not regularly scheduled due to unpredictable loud music in the host's area, which could lead to copyright violations. This makes it difficult to guarantee a consistent streaming time. Supporting the channel through membership could offer more flexibility for scheduling.
0:06 Hey, what's up everybody? I am going live here in Dumaguete and I just wanted to do a welcome video to thank all the new subscribers from Mike's Philippine retirement. Shout out to Mike and from Old Dog New Tricks, Paul. Shout out to Paul. Both of these gentlemen have been incredible mentors to me in a very short time.
0:35 So yeah, I think the timer reset. I'll go ahead and repeat what I just said. Welcome, welcome. So first off, I want to thank everybody and welcome everybody who is coming from Mike's Philippine retirement and then also Old Dog New Tricks. I owe a great deal of thanks to both Mike and Paul for collaborating with me.
1:03 They both have a lot of insight, and I see both of them as fantastic mentors for myself. They've both been very selfless and generous with not only collaborating with me but also the insight behind the scenes. They've shared a lot with me that I feel like I'll carry with me for the duration of my time here on YouTube.
1:30 It's just the amount of analysis and thought and effort that they put into their channels is just brilliant. I mean, I have such a deep appreciation for the craft, and I think that the things that I'm learning from them will help me to elevate the content that I bring to you all as my audience.
1:54 So yes, and thank you so much, Tony. Tony has been a great supporter of the channel for a long time now, and I really appreciate his encouragement. How are you doing today, Tony? It's Monday morning for you. It's the start of the week.
2:14 I've got an interview in about two and a half hours with a fintech company, but aside from that, you know, nothing major. Just trying to focus on the channel. I've got an interview I recorded with Paul that I'll probably edit tomorrow.
2:34 Probably tomorrow, I'll go to Tom's Cafe. And then I've got another one with some young folks I ran into who are cosplayers on the Boulevard in Dumaguete. So they actually dress up as anime characters, and I just had to approach them.
3:00 I chatted with them for about 20 minutes. Really talented young folks. So yeah, the one I did with Paul will probably come out probably Thursday because I put out the one with Mike tonight. I'd like to give that a few days, and then the one with the cosplayers, I'll try to have it done by Sunday.
3:25 Paul is just an incredible storyteller. The way I differentiate Mike and Paul is that Mike is really fantastic at creating what I call the how-to guide. If you want a step-by-step assessment of how to go from being in the United States or North America, Canada, or the UK, Australia, New Zealand, Mike's got this.
4:03 He comes from a really interesting background and has this really great way. I think a lot of his insight could apply to a lot of different countries. So obviously, he's chosen the Philippines, but I think a person could apply the same methodology to a lot of different expat destinations.
4:21 And then with Paul, he's just got this really great storytelling ability. He just has a way of creating this narrative. We actually sat down for several hours and really got to know each other because I actually reached out to Paul about five years ago.
4:40 It's really surprising for Paul because he's obviously talked to a lot of people, but I saw him sort of land in the Philippines and really start his channel. It's been incredible to watch his progression since then.
4:58 I've seen him go from frankly being a bit haggard, run down, worn down. He had a lot of challenges that he's discussed in past videos, and he's just got such a warm, kind vibe these days that you can tell he's really overcome a lot and improved his happiness.
5:24 So now, somebody said these guys aren't saints. I will never come on here and tell you, oh, Mike is a saint, or Paul is a saint. I don't see them that way. I think that what they are are two guys who managed to overcome a lot of challenges in their lives.
5:42 And if a person who's dealing with their own challenges in the West watches them, then they'll get some kind of insight from how to overcome their own challenges. I don't look at their channels as showing these two guys with perfect lives.
6:05 I think it's two guys who had challenges, and they're just examples. I'm going to be meeting with several other vloggers in the next couple of weeks.
6:17 But yeah, just let's see the last part of that interview discussing the therapeutic aspects. Oh, by the way, we've got four viewers on here. Everyone feel free to chime in and share your thoughts, questions, or comments, and not just on the interview that I had with them, but also just in general. I'm all open to whatever the audience would like to discuss.
6:48 So I'll tie back into Tony's comment here, discussing the therapeutic aspects of the Philippines, finding a community, fellowship, becoming visible and affirmed as a person by the social aspect of the Philippines. Yeah, I mean, for me here, I can get as little socializing as I want or as much as I want.
7:10 If I'm in the mood for less, it'll be a day that I'll just spend more at my place here. I could interact a bit with my host family here, very, very sweet lady, Wanita. I'd like to interview her now. I have to ask; I haven't brought up the idea to her, but she's just such a strong person.
7:31 She's just a strong person, and she's been very honest with me and very kind, and very warm. In some ways, kind of a mother figure, if I'm being transparent. Just a sweet lady, but even if she doesn't, I'll brag on her a bit.
7:49 So yeah, if I want just a chill day, I could just chill here and hang out here, and it's just a really laid-back environment. But now, if I'm craving more, I can walk up the road to Dumaguete.
8:03 In Dumaguete, there's some great pizza places. I tried one of them. There's of course some nice restaurants as well. There's this almost like carnival I walk by. So that's a little bit more. I can interact a bit with the staff at these places, but maybe I don't see somebody I recognize because I don't spend as much time in Dumaguete.
8:23 Now, if I'm wanting another step up, I go down to the Boulevard and do meet-and-greets. We can pull up a map here just to give you guys a sense of where I'm talking about.
8:44 Yeah, so here's the Boulevard. If you ever hear about Dumaguete vloggers talking about the Boulevard, it's generally they're talking about Real Boulevard. You've got quite a few nice restaurants up and down the strip. I'm a fan of this spot, SS Revol Bistro. It's really reasonable.
9:00 We're talking, they have a great combination meal where you get an entree, a drink, and dessert, and a soup or salad for 280 pesos, so about $5 to have their combination. It gets you a little bit of everything.
9:16 But the nicer part to me, even more so than the restaurants, which are good, is just walking up and down this Boulevard. And they've got this nice park here, this parklet.
9:38 So they've got people that set up and play chess. They've got a lot of different, mostly local people during the week. You got some expats and foreigners, but then on the weekend, it really is a lively scene. You see tons of people down there.
9:56 I think they're out there even until midnight. I usually ramp up around 10 p.m. It's like usually a half-hour ride back to my place, and by then, I'm pretty much ready to go to bed. But it's such a nice community setting.
10:08 I mean, I just meet person after person after person, and I can just talk to anybody. Even if it's just a simple hello, I try to greet people, and people smile. The social scene is just incredible. It's like nothing I've ever experienced anywhere in the world.
10:26 You know, there's a lot of compromise scenes throughout the Philippines, but Dumaguete is definitely up there as far as offering opportunities to socialize. Thank you for catching that, Tony. I'm sorry to hear about the screen being black, but thank you so much for calling that out. It's definitely good to know.
10:51 Oh, hey Captain Trucker, welcome, welcome. Shout out to Captain Trucker. If anybody is not familiar, check out his channel. He is an American, and he's got a great channel. I'm a huge fan of Captain Trucker.
11:10 It's funny, Trucker, but actually, I mentioned your channel to several vloggers here in Dumaguete, and they're familiar and they watch your channel. So yeah, Trucker's got a lot of original content. He's got a different perspective. I think that's partly why his channel is growing so fast. Definitely recommend his channel.
11:31 Oh, Trucker, I did want to call something out. I have had some issues with PayPal. I greatly appreciate the support that you've provided to me. I may have to link with you and ask you to cancel that one and share my Venmo with you because I've just had some issues with PayPal.
11:52 I've actually probably got a call tonight to try to get it unblocked. They're a little bit overzealous in my experience.
12:05 Yeah, yeah, I think a lot of people are familiar with your channel, even though I think you're not as Dumaguete-focused. There's a lot of guys that Dumaguete is their total area of focus. They live, eat, breathe, do meet-and-greets.
12:19 I think what people find refreshing, actually, Trucker, is that you're not a Dumaguete vlogger. So if you're a person who's vlogging Dumaguete, you've got a bunch of other people that you're competing with.
12:32 Where for you, then, it's, you know, you're doing... I don't want to say more original content because I think everybody's got their own take on Dumaguete, but there's less overlap, right?
12:47 I mean, if somebody, they've got a couple of guys they watch from Dumaguete, they're not looking to...
12:52 From Dumag Getti, they're not looking to add more to that rotation. If they've got your channel, and yeah, trucker is wholesome. He's also got the tie of having a Filipino son, and I think he's great. If you're looking for interesting content, check out Trucker.
13:20 Definitely Trucker. There's some potential for interesting collaboration. I know you're starting to branch into collaboration, but I think there are several guys here who would have some interesting synergies with you and your insight and your perspective.
13:39 I've got a couple more on the radar. Great to see you. I also recommend checking out 'A Foreigner Asking Questions in the Philippines.' That's one of the people Captain Trucker mentioned that he's a fan of your channel.
14:02 Yeah, Trucker is ba for sure. But yeah, Tony, I definitely agree with the affirmations that you experience here in the Philippines. It's just such a community-minded place where everybody is included. It's such an inclusive environment.
14:32 Coming from the Burning Man world, which at times seemed to become more and more elitist, even though inclusivity is part of the ethos of Burning Man, for whatever reason, I feel like it's still a thing here. People of all ages, backgrounds, and socioeconomic statuses are included here.
14:56 Sometimes you see people down on their luck, and yet they still get politeness and respect. There's something that Western culture could really learn from the Filipino people as far as being an inclusive population. They are very warm-hearted and kind-hearted.
15:32 Tony says, 'I think you uncovered some hidden kernels of what many are searching for but don't know what it is.' Yeah, it's hard to put words to it, Tony. I was searching for it in Thailand and found it to some degree, but the language barrier was there.
15:50 Even though I had numerous moments of connection with Thai people, it was heavily contextually based. We would be there experiencing the moment together, laughing, smiling, making eye contact. But with the language in the Philippines, there's no ambiguity.
16:09 There's no second-guessing or wondering if you know what they mean. We know what our counterpart in conversation means, and it's just so much fun. I felt like in the US, at times, I'm so lonely that I'm almost desperately seeking connection.
16:38 Yet here, it's like, okay, I know when my cup is full of socializing. I've had my fill, and it's time to call it a night. That's not really an experience I have as much in the West.
16:52 I'll jump back and forth because I want to get to some of Trucker's insights. Thanks for the feedback. Had no idea people watched me there. Yeah, Trucker, it was surprising to me because you mentioned in some of our conversations on your channel that you weren't really a Dumag Getti focused vlogger.
17:16 You hadn't made it down here, but I think just the quality of your content, your honesty, your channel doesn't come across as salesy. I don't feel like I'm watching a sales pitch. I think also a lot of guys can relate.
17:33 Being a driver can be a grind, and a lot of guys who are in the position to stay here long-term have done the grind. I've had this conversation with both Mike and Paul, where I told them, no jealousy here. You guys put in your time, you did your time, you had long careers where you were in go-go-go mode for decades.
18:00 For us young guys, we've got to put in our time too. Seeing them overcome those challenges is a reminder that while we're seeing them get to experience their dream, like our dreams, it's possible for us to make our dreams too.
18:20 In some ways, we're getting to get some tastes and some discovery trips in a time with the internet, whereas when they were our age, they didn't have the luxury of the internet. The internet was in its infancy; you couldn't just go and research about Dumag or Siu City or any of these wonderful places.
18:55 You remind me of this guy I went to school with years ago; they were twins. That's funny. I'm hearing that more and more. I don't know exactly what's causing it, but I'm hearing more and more that I remind people of someone they know.
19:09 Maybe it's because I watch too much content, and that influences my speech and some of the topics I discuss. I liked your speech on the narcissism of expats.
19:24 Yeah, it's an unfortunate reality. Something I've heard before and will echo is you don't really have to worry as much about the local people. Your bigger concerns, in my opinion, your bigger threats are going to be more often from expats.
19:43 I think one of the things I heard, and this is from a channel I watch from time to time, Brett Dev, he said, 'A local person might rip you off for a hundred baht on a Tuk Tuk ride, whereas an expat might sell you a business that doesn't exist.' These are two very different scales.
20:10 The local individual may be just trying to feed their family. The expat is trying to continue a lifestyle in what they deem as paradise. So you have to be, and I'm preaching to the choir, Trucker, because I think you're very familiar with this. You're an experienced expat.
20:33 But we really have to be cautious about that, right? Because there's this desire to connect with people from our home countries. Even in a country like the Philippines, where many local people have great English, we like some of those shared experiences.
20:55 We like hearing about, 'Oh, you know, this was your milestone experience, right? You were 16, you got your first car, you got your first job doing this kind of job that may not exist here in the Philippines.' There are just these experiences that we can bond with other expats on.
21:15 But bad expats, bad actors can misuse those connections, right? I remember I've got a story to share about a, I would call, somewhat narcissistic expat I ran into in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Why don't we pull up Phnom Penh here?
21:35 We'll just zoom out here and go to Phnom Penh. I was here on the Riverside, and so I think it was Kawasan Riverside Park. This gentleman identified himself as American and walked up to me. He tells me he's from New York City and then asked me where I'm from.
22:00 I told him I came here from the San Francisco area. I'm not originally from San Francisco, but especially five years ago, nobody had heard of Nashville. Now I think that's changed. Anyway, I'm telling him, you know, I came here, I was living in California.
22:16 He's telling me, 'Oh, really? I'm from San Francisco.' So right off the bat, he initially told me he's from New York, now he's from California. When you're new to a country, you don't have any friends in that country. Maybe you make some friends, maybe you find a girlfriend.
22:33 But when you're new, you've got to be somewhat skeptical, right? I'm a little bit less skeptical of YouTubers because I can often watch their channel. I know what they're about. I've made a determination: do I like this person enough to have a conversation, or is it just more of a polite 'nice to meet you'?
22:53 Anyway, in Phnom Penh, this guy, I immediately, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking he's going to ask for money. So then he brings up he's a musician and his reed is broken; he needs money for a reed. And I just said, 'Yeah, good luck with that, man. I got to roll.'
23:11 So I headed out. I walked down the street, and 15 minutes later, I come back, and now he's talking to a local Cambodian person, and he's starting to go down the same story. Cambodia gets perhaps less foreigners than say, Thailand.
23:26 Part of me wanted to interrupt and be like, 'Dude, come on, just give it up.' It's one thing to ask a foreigner from your home country for money; it's a whole another thing to ask a local person. Have some shame.
23:45 You know, because you, as an American, could go back, like in the case of this expat that approached me, you could go back to the US and earn more money. Somebody who's living in this country, this is where they're at. There's no other country for them to go back to. This is where they live.
24:02 They're a local person here. So it's important to just be mindful that even though we are striving for connection, that's what causes a lot of us to come to these other countries. We can't let our guard down all the way.
24:27 We have to still maintain boundaries and think about the motivations of people who might have ulterior motives. We have no idea who they are back in their home country. They might have a checkered past.
24:45 They might be running from some kind of issue. For whatever reason, they've got to earn our friendship too.
24:52 Trucker says, 'Absolutely. We try to embrace the benefits of being a foreigner. An outsider can have its benefits and learning opportunities.' Sometimes travelers don't try to adapt to new environments. Yeah, I think that's so powerful.
25:15 I think adaptation is important and being considerate. I definitely noticed here in Dumaguete that some people have dealt with impatient customers. I sometimes notice a look of relief on the face of somebody who is engaging with them in a service capacity, maybe at a restaurant, or at a service-oriented business. There's this look of relief when they tell me, 'Oh, sorry sir, out of stock,' or 'It'll be a little bit of a wait.' I'll let them know, 'Oh, it's totally fine, that's not your fault.'
26:00 So, a perfect example: I was at a restaurant two days ago, recommended to me by a friend. I ordered the mashed potatoes with my dinner, and after about five minutes, the waitress comes back and says, 'We're out of mashed potatoes. We have potato wedges, garlic rice, and plain rice.' I said, 'Oh, that's fine, the potato wedges sound great.' The look of relief on her face was like she was half worried I was going to have an over-the-top reaction, like, 'Oh my God, you're out of mashed potatoes! I can't believe this!' But I'm thinking, 'No big deal, they ran out. I'm sure a lot of people that day had ordered mashed potatoes, and they just ran out.' That's totally fine.
27:10 The potato wedges were good, I enjoyed them. They were a little bit different than mashed potatoes, but if they were out of that, I would have gone with the garlic rice. If they were out of that, I might have asked for extra vegetables, because they served green beans and carrots alongside the dish I ordered. But not a problem at all, not an end-of-the-world situation.
27:33 I think when you come to any country outside of your home country, it doesn't matter what country. This is something I've learned and heard from Paul and Mike, and I agree with it 100 percent: you've got to bring patience. We always talk about budgets and how much money you should bring, but you've got to bring patience. Understand things work a little bit differently. There are certain ingredients that are imported that they can't just call up somebody in Idaho and say, 'Hey, load up the truck, we're out of potatoes.'
28:10 Potatoes are imported, right? I've talked to a few expats about this, and there seems to be a consensus that any potato dish you get here in the Philippines probably isn't coming from the Philippines. It's probably coming on a boat or an airplane. So, we just have to be mindful of that. The service staff are the last people in line. They're not in charge of growing the potatoes, ordering the potatoes, or cooking the potatoes. They're just a person who, that day, happened to be out.
28:48 Not a big deal. It was something that I felt like, man, it sucks that somebody was inconsiderate toward the staff about something that's just not within their control.
29:16 Trucker says, 'I got to drive to Albany, New York. Can't type, but I'm listening.' Wonderful, trucker. Yeah, thanks so much for joining us. Shout out again to trucker, and anybody who's a fan of my channel, I think they'd also enjoy trucker's channel. I spent some time in Albany about 10 years ago, and that was an interesting weekend. It was for this festival called The Hudson Project, which turned into The Mson Project. It was probably the worst festival I've ever been to.
29:50 If you're familiar with music festivals, it was on the same grounds as Woodstock '99. A huge storm came in, and it was just a wild scene. But, catching back up on Tony's last comment: Tony says, 'Many guys that go there talk about their invisibility in the US and their feelings of being a non-player character back home, but coming to the Philippines, being made to feel affirmed and recognized.'
30:19 You know, I think Tony, and this is something I could really go on about, is that life seems so fast-paced in the West that we just don't have time to acknowledge each other as much. I think some of it is age-related, Tony. I'm going to validate what you're saying. There's this idea of, 'Okay, you put in the work. Okay, time for you to go in the trash.' I need to ask Paul about this, but I think a funny thumbnail would be him standing in a trash can, like, 'You've done your time. We're done with you. We've extracted everything out of your battery. Your battery's worn out. We don't have a need for you anymore.'
31:13 And that's something that is not the case in the Philippines. In the Philippines, there's this idea of older people getting a certain level of respect. Now, I want to add a caveat to this: age is not solely a signifier to me of a quality person. A long time ago, when you had an older person, the assumption was they had to have done something right. Now, in the modern era, with advanced healthcare and treatments, there are some real dingbats that make it to an older age.
31:52 That being said, there are a number of guys who are older than myself who have accumulated life experience and wisdom to impart. So, I'm receptive to that. I always try to be cognizant, like, 'Hey, he's got 20 more years surviving this shindig than I do,' or in Mike's case, 37 years more experience, or Paul's, 38 years, something like that. Close to 40 years more experience than I have in the grind. So, I've got to be mindful of that.
32:37 And also in the expat sense, because it's not necessarily what I would call easy to move to a different country. Visiting is one thing; most people could go to Boracay or Palawan for a week or two and have a blast. They're in vacation mode, probably got a nice ride from the airport, a nice air-conditioned cab, eating at western-style restaurants, maybe eating imported beef, staying in a nice resort with on-call staff and a private beach. It's a whole another thing to do day-to-day, live mode, in any of these countries, because it's just not practical to replicate vacation mode.
33:30 And so, it's that much more valuable to get insight from guys like Mike and Paul, who have made the blueprint and are excellent storytellers. And then there's guys like Trucker, who are doing psychology and bringing nuanced takes. I don't want to say how do I explain it... having a bit more skeptical thought process towards some of our fellow expats, but not this drama. Trucker walks this fine line where he's able to have some critiques of expats and the impact they can make without turning it into a troll channel, because I don't like troll channels either.
34:25 I find that they're harmful, hurtful, and do an injustice toward a lot of these countries by just putting negative energy out there. But I don't watch them, so that's how I do my part. If I think there's a channel oriented toward a bias toward negativity, I'm not going to feed that. The algorithm is impacted by what we choose to watch, and we've got to be mindful and make more conscious choices.
35:03 But yeah, Dumaguete, I get it. I totally get it. I didn't get it at first. When I first rolled into town a few weeks ago, I was thinking, 'Where are the tall buildings?' I spent so much time in Bangkok and Shanghai in past visits, and I'm looking around like, 'Where are all the tall buildings?' I don't see them. But over time, it took a day or two, but I got the charm. I went to Robinson's Mall, and I was like, 'Ah, this is a nice mall.'
35:37 Robinson's is where a lot of you, for your first time in Dumaguete, will naturally gravitate toward. It's a nice size, has a couple of stories, and a decent variety. You've got several great restaurants there, a branch of Sans Rival, and a Jollibee. You have several of your great chains, and a Greenwich, which I ate at today in the downtown Dumaguete location. But yeah, it's a nice place to go walking. The aircon is nice there. I've definitely done a bunch of laps around it during the heat of the day if I find myself in downtown.
36:25 It's like a 15-minute walk from downtown. I'll just go over there, do laps, grab a bite to eat, and may stop by the ATM. I haven't seen a movie there yet, but I do want to see a movie at some point while I'm in town. And a nice department store, you've got the anchor Robinson's store here. I need to go by there actually and get a few things, but great options.
37:00 Gerard says, 'Dingbats, no age at all.' Absolutely, Gerard. Dingbats come in all ages, shapes, and sizes. Yeah, definitely a reality of living abroad is you do get some unsavory characters at times. One sec, I've got to plug in my charger here, my laptop.
38:20 Trucker says, 'That's a good thing to hear when you remind people of someone.'
38:22 When you remind people of someone, it means you are connecting on a higher level of human communication. I think so, that's a great point.
38:35 So, one thing I wanted to pivot to is my next steps. I'm loving Dumag, I really don't want to leave, but I have a couple of directions where I'm being pulled. One is that I want to go see my buddy in Malibal City. I've talked about it several times.
38:57 He's over here in Mindana now, so it's about a 12-hour journey. He's here in Malai-balai, Bukidnon, and I've been wanting to see him. I haven't seen him in five years, so the last time I actually got to see him was five years ago.
39:16 We've been in touch ever since, and he's part of what sold me on the Philippines. I think a lot of guys get sold on the Philippines by the vloggers, right? They watch a lot of vloggers and they're able to learn a lot and get a sense of what it's like as an American, Canadian, or Australian to come over here and live. Others may go on a dating website platform like Tinder and meet a Filipina. But for me, it was my buddy who was my virtual assistant. He's a great guy.
40:02 We were just talking in between work, and he told me, 'Ah, you've got to come over here and meet a nice woman, and you've got to come over here and see this beautiful country.' And yeah, he sold me on it. So I came five years ago and loved the country.
40:20 Part of the reason I put off coming here is I knew once I go back, it's going to limit me wanting to travel to other places. It's just the Philippines; the people are some of my favorite people in the world. It's really hard for me personally to imagine going to many more new places because I love this country so much.
40:50 So that's one direction I'm being pulled in: to go to Malibal. He wanted me to check it out last time, but I was in a hurry. I was here for like a month and jumping places every week or 10 days. This time, I'd like to go for a month, rent an apartment in Mali for a month. There's a vlogger, Expat Lifestyle, who did a good interview a few months back; he's based in Malai-balai as well, so I'd like to meet up with him and chat.
41:23 It is a 12-hour journey because it's going to be like a four-hour ferry to Dapitan in Zamboanga del Norte, and then I take a bus from Dapitan all the way through Oroquieta, around Pangil Bay, through Iligan, and then to Cagayan de Oro. Then I transfer in Cagayan de Oro to, yeah, to Budlaan.
42:01 So, the other option is I'm talking to a woman based in Cebu, and I'd like to go see her. How we met is that I was on the boulevard in Dumag, talking to students because they had these cool costumes on. I wanted to compliment them because it looked like they put a lot of effort into their costumes.
42:30 Then all of a sudden, their principal comes up, and I start talking to their principal. Then their principal is trying to set me up with one of his vice principals. That conversation ends, and then I start talking to these other students. Then I just randomly meet another lady, and this other lady tells me, 'Okay, you've got to meet my nieces.' She has two nieces, and she connects me with them.
43:00 I was able to add one on Facebook; the other's profile was limited to just messaging. Anyway, I started talking to one of her nieces, and we just have great chemistry. She's a really nice person, and we've been talking every single day and getting along well. She's based in Cebu City.
43:27 So, those are the two directions I'm being pulled in. I do want to see my buddy, but I also want to go meet this woman. It's a little bit tricky because it's easier, the way the infrastructure works, to go meet her and then fly down to Cagayan de Oro and take a bus to Malai-balai. Versus the reverse, where if I go to Malai-balai, what's more likely to happen is either go back to Cagayan de Oro, which may have to happen anyway because I need to go to immigration, or what I prefer to do is go down to Davao City, check out Davao City for like a week, and then fly to Cebu.
44:16 So I lean towards Cebu because naturally, I want to see her. If I get a job offer back in the States, then I'm going to have to dip. It would be disappointing not to see her because she's just a really nice person. I don't know how much I'd feature her on my channel if we meet; I would want to respect her privacy. I also know as the channel grows, I will get some trolls, and I want to protect her from that.
44:50 So that's kind of where I'm at: trying to determine next steps. Do I want to go down to Malai-balai where there's some great opportunities to meet with my friend? Also, there are seven tribes in Malai-balai of indigenous groups, and he's talking about how we could do some content with them. There's also a pineapple farm that I want to check out down there.
45:19 It's just super appealing, so that's kind of where I'm at: Cebu or Malai-balai. I've been to Cebu before, but I was only there for like a week or so, maybe 10 days, so I didn't get the full month experience in Cebu. This time, I would be getting that full month experience there.
45:42 But then she wants to go to Budlaan at some point. Who knows, maybe I go up there and we spend time, and then maybe that's a trip that happens for both of us. But things are just up in the air. It's such a hard decision.
46:01 Captain Trucker asks, 'Meet the woman, I think that's a good call.' She's a bright woman, and she's got a great sense of humor. She's also seen a lot more of the Philippines than I have. That's something I really like about chatting with her: she's been to a lot of different parts of the country, so there's a lot for me to learn from her.
46:33 To be fair, there's a lot for me to learn from my buddy as well, but there are just certain synergies there. And of course, I'd be lying if I didn't say that dating was part of my love for this country or intrigue about this country: the potential for a long-term partner, a serious partner, somebody that I'd be making a commitment to.
47:01 It's certainly appealing for a lot of guys, and I'm not going to apologize for my desire. Yeah, Trucker, I lean toward that. It's possible, like I said, it's very easy to fly from Cebu to Davao, take a bus up to Malai-balai. One of the things I want to experience is Malipuno, it's up in the mountains, and I really would like a taste of that cooler weather. I've been in Southeast Asia for over a year, and the heat and humidity sometimes make me miss that cooler weather.
47:48 So yeah, it's tough, but I lean toward meeting her. Yeah, I lean toward meeting her.
48:00 Tony asks a great question: 'The attention you are getting from women, people trying to introduce you to women, is this the same amount you get in other countries? You get more in the PH?' To be honest, way more in the Philippines. I think there was some of that in Thailand, okay, I'll be fair. There was some of that in Thailand, but the language barrier made it a bit challenging.
48:23 I do have some Thai female friends that speak great English. I enjoy their company, just hanging out. It's platonic there, as far as my Thai female friends. There's been no romance there, and I haven't broached that subject, certainly they haven't either. I get the impression if it's something I were interested in pursuing, that would be a possibility, but you know, I just see them as platonic friends.
48:59 I have such great friendships with them too. There are some elements of Thai culture that are similar to East Asian culture, and that's where we connect. I like Filipino culture because it's different than East Asian culture in some ways. I think it's more complimentary in some ways, whereas sometimes with my Thai female friends, it feels like we butt heads a little bit because of our similarities. I don't get that as much with Filipinos.
49:40 But yeah, Tony, I think I get a lot more of that here because there's a few things. One, I think the culture is romantic. I think the Filipino culture in general is just very romantic. I think there's a general belief that most people should be in a relationship, especially if you're a good guy and you have pro-social characteristics or qualities.
50:03 There's this sense that you could treat somebody well and bring happiness to their life, and it's like a mutually beneficial scenario where the sum of the parts is the whole. The couple is better than the pair as individuals. And so, I do feel that way. I also feel that there's a genetic component, right? I mean, if you're on an island, then on some level, there's got to be some risk of genetic overlap.
50:43 I'm not saying that in a pejorative or disrespectful way. I found that there's intrigue, there's interest in different kinds of people. It's the Philippines, Filipino is a nationality. That's the way for me to put it. It's a nationality, it's not a race. Filipinos come in many different shapes, sizes, colors. There's indigenous Filipinos, there's Chinese.
51:15 Indigenous Filipinos, there's Chinese Filipinos, there's Indian Filipinos, Filipinos, there's Indian Filipinos, there's Indonesian. There's Indonesian Filipinos. I think some of the indigenous Filipinos are what you would call A’aloronai. But yeah, Filipinos are really a diverse group, much more so than I think the outside world conceptualizes. And part of what adds to that diversity is different people from different places mixing in with the local people.
51:43 And as somebody who is mixed race, definitely I feel accepted here in that way. Like you see a lot of Filipinos who are who seem to have or appear to have mixed ethnicity or different kinds coming from different kinds of ethnic backgrounds. And in some places, that may not be as welcome. I feel very welcomed in that regard.
52:02 I haven't felt any like people ask me, 'Where are you from?' I tell them, 'United States.' They might ask a little bit more about my ethnic background. I tell them I'm Indian and Japanese. And, 'Oh, that's so interesting!' because I think they also are acquainted with people that like maybe say half Filipino, half Japanese, or half Filipino, half Korean.
52:25 Gerard says, 'You'll never forgive yourself if you don't make the effort to meet her and share some time together, share a meal.' That's a good point, Gerard, because like the chemistry there is just interesting. I think that she comes from a good family, just based on context clues, based on her interests, seeing her pets, seeing how well they're taken care of. The dogs look super healthy.
53:02 Knowing that she and I just, some of the things we talked about, we have a lot in common. We have some of the important things in common, I think, as far as just like future interests. One area where we may differ is like she's definitely interested in having a family. I'm more of what I'd call a fence-sitter.
53:27 I worry about, you know, just being fully transparent, I worry about my ability to provide. You know, does that entail me working more in the US? I don't know. I could count on YouTube to take off. It's something that I'm very cognizant enough due to my challenging background. I don't want to bite off more than I can chew. I don't want to make a commitment like, 'Oh yeah, you know, we'll start a family,' and then I'm not able to provide the resources that a family requires.
54:02 And I think a lot of guys have that concern, right? I mean, it's a big responsibility. It's not a responsibility I take lightly. And so that's something we'll have to discuss further. You know, it may, like I said, it may entail me going back to grad school. Maybe I could support that on a higher income. It's also, you know, it's like, okay, does that entail bringing her to the US eventually?
54:33 I'm not sure how I feel about that because one, I just, I'm not as happy a person in the US. I think that the US is hard on a lot of relationships. I think that the individualistic nature of the US is such that it's just naturally going to be hard on relationships. You know, people are very, they have a lot of financial pressure, there's a lot of pressure work. You know, housing is very, very expensive. It's, it's a lot to think about.
55:04 And she and I are on the same page. I've been as honest as possible with her and trying to be as clear about my thoughts about the future and intentions as possible because I just want what's best for her. And if, you know, if that's, you know, if there's a different foreigner that's better prepared, I think that, you know, that's not the end of my world.
55:38 I'm in a much better place than I was when I'm younger. I'm happy on my own. I know that sounds strange. I'm not, I don't think I'm at optimum happiness, but I am generally happy on my own. I've come to develop a sense of healthy self-love and I don't want to force a relationship and bring in unrealistic expectations.
56:09 Yeah, so like, you know, there's still a lot of discussion. You know, we still got to link up. We just chat so much. I mean, we talk for like hours, she and I do. Even when like she gets break on break from work. And she has dated a foreigner in the past, so that's another thing. Some people look at that as a negative, I personally don't because there's a better sense of like, you know, foreigners are different from Filipino people.
56:42 There's a lot of adaptation and adjustment foreigners have to make that a local person doesn't have to make. And so there's that level of patience that comes with that. But I don't mean to be all negative on this either. I mean, you know, I think like worst-case scenario, I've made a wonderful friend. She and I have that kind of chemistry where like we get along in a friendly way.
57:05 So, yeah, I just, I'm not, I'm not in a rush to get married. Some people were telling me, 'Don't get married, don't get married.' Marriage is forever in the Philippines. It's not something to be taken lightly in this country, for sure. It's an institution that's put on a very high regard. And so she and I are on the same page in a lot of ways.
57:26 And, um, yeah, I look forward to meeting her and spending time with her. Tony says, 'Not gonna lie, the lure of going to the Philippines and getting attention from women, the possibility of meeting, dating multiple women is very appealing for us invisible average guys in the West.'
57:43 Yeah, Tony, I mean, and it's also like, it's just a generally young country. I mean, I look at the United States, the average American is like 39 years old. Here, the average person is more like 28 years old, 27 years old. And so when you go out, you just see like tons and tons of young people, and it's just so different from the West.
58:09 Where, you know, a lot of people are settled down. I mean, I think Mike talked about that in my interview with him where he's saying, 'I think the truth is a lot of the good ones are taken in the West.' And I would agree with that. I mean, I've met a lot of wonderful women in the West who are married, you know, who are in a committed relationship. That man, you know, I wish she was single, but because she's not, I got to respect that.
58:30 That's, you know, in a young country like there's just going to naturally be more people who haven't settled down. Or maybe some people who, they're single, they dated somebody for a while, they broke up, they didn't meet the right person yet. So there's just, I don't know, more of an optimistic attitude.
58:53 And I think the bar is also just super high in the West. I mean, I think exposure to popular media has really skewed people's expectations in general, not just women for men, by the way. I think men's expectations in the West can also be out of whack.
59:11 I think you look at something like certain forms of entertainment online, entertainment that has skewed some men's expectations. They see an airbrushed woman who has had various augmentations and things like that, and they think, 'Oh man, you know, if I'm going to settle down, she better look like that.' When that's not really reality, right? That's not really a realistic image or thing to think about.
59:44 So I think it goes both ways. Now, of course, the majority of my viewers are male, I'm going to speak more to the male experience. And I think in that regard, Tony, yeah, I think you, you know, somebody who is a good guy, who has a lot of great qualities, who's stable, who's developed themselves, has worked on their career, has looked after their health and well-being, who has a lot of insight to share.
1:00:16 I mean, you had like all guys have had some missteps that I think you're, if you're dating a woman in good faith who's younger than you, you can share some of those. So they're, 'Hey, this is a misstep I had.' Like, 'Hey, this is something that I found was valuable.' Sharing your insight, sharing your life experience is something that I think a lot of people here value. They value the experiences and insight of older people in a way that's just not as common in the West.
1:00:56 And I think it's worth a discovery trip. I tell everybody this, like I'm not telling you, 'Move to the Philippines, it'll change your life.' I think, you know, Mike and I had a conversation, we discussed that in our latest video where, you know, I think at one point I misstepped and I was like, 'Oh yeah, this is paradise or this is a great solution for everybody.' He's like, 'Oh no, no, it's not. Some guys, it's not going to be right for some guys.'
1:01:26 I think it is worth a discovery trip. I think it is worth checking out and having a look around. Maybe scheduling a few weeks trip here, maybe a month trip here. Doing something like this is personally what I would suggest: picking three places and doing 10 days in each, or four places in a week in each. So maybe you land in Cebu. I'm preferential to Cebu, but Manila is an option. Just taking a week there to get over your jet lag, then maybe you come down to, well, maybe you fly out to Puerto Princesa, Palawan. You have a week traditional style vacation. Maybe then you try a week in like Dumaguete where it's a small city. It's not going to be your Cebu or your Manila, but it's going to have some conveniences. The traffic's not going to be so bad.
1:02:22 You got a ferry over here to Siquijor, which is a very popular destination. I need to get over there. Maybe this weekend. It's a lot more popular on the weekend. Maybe like Wednesday or Thursday or something. I've got so much to do. I really got to make it over there at some point though. And Apo Island is also on the radar. Apo is down here. Look at that turtle. And then, you know, finishing up with like, I don't know, a week.
1:02:59 It's a good question. Maybe, you know, maybe of the three that you visited, you go back for a week. But yeah, you know, it's kind of choose your own adventure in the Philippines. I feel like you can't go wrong. There's so many different cool places to see. There's 7,000 islands.
1:03:18 There are 7,000 islands in the Philippines, and around a thousand are inhabited. So you've got a solid variety of choices. If you're a big city person, you might want to focus on Manila or Cebu. I think also, if you're oriented toward dating, Manila and Cebu are going to be your best options.
1:03:35 I've got to kind of go back on something I said in my initial impressions of Dumaguete. I said that I think it's fine for dating, but I don't think that's as much the case anymore. I think it's a place that once you've met a significant other, then you might want to bring them to Dumaguete.
1:03:53 Dumaguete has so many foreigners and committed women. The population is a couple hundred thousand. If you take out 100,000 because half the population are dudes, and then a third of what's left because they're not of appropriate age, and another third because they're above your age range, you're down to a much smaller number.
1:04:24 So if you're wanting to meet somebody for a relationship, Cebu has a lot of single women who've moved up there for work. Manila is the same deal, with a lot of women who've moved up there from all over the country to work. So you've got an influx of people consistently turning into the city who are looking for a relationship, are open to dating somebody, and are not yet committed.
1:04:59 TJ Riley, welcome to the channel! Shout out to Critter Republic. I actually walked by his spot the other night, but it was nighttime so I didn't enter. The gates were open though, and I need to check them out. Maybe tomorrow night I'll go get some pizza up the road from Critter Republic and then just go walk down there and introduce myself.
1:05:37 I'm still a little bit shy about diving. I tried some diving in Mexico, and it wasn't the best experience, to be honest. There were numerous reasons for that, so I'm a little bit panicky. I would have to do a course, I think, before I commit, which I know Critter does offer some courses.
1:06:01 Absolutely beautiful. I mean, look at this coral, this marine life. It's just... that's interesting. Oh, I love the clownfish. That reminds me of some other places I've been in the Philippines.
1:06:32 These are some of the most beautiful fish for me to personally spot. I know they may not be the rarest, but I just love the Finding Nemo vibes. That's what it reminds me of a lot. I didn't see a sea turtle last time; that would be super cool.
1:07:04 But guys, I'll probably wind down here shortly. We've been going for over an hour, and my voice is starting to go because I had a super lengthy conversation tonight with one of my new buddies who I met here a couple weeks ago in Dumaguete. I know I've got a lot more talking to do this week and need to drink some more water.
1:07:37 I just caught your interview with Old Dog. Well, thank you so much, TJ. I greatly appreciate you checking that out. He's a real gem. Paul's a real gem, and I'm super appreciative that he's willing to collaborate with somebody like me. I'm still a newtuber.
1:07:59 Ciao, Alex. Look forward to the next. Thanks so much, Tony. Yeah, I've got one that I need to edit, so I actually have a video I've recorded with Paul, asking him some questions, and we had some banter as well. So that's the next one up in my queue to edit.
1:08:32 I'll probably pull the files over tonight and then do most of my editing tomorrow. But thank you so much for the membership, Tony. I really appreciate the support. It helps to bring this content to the lovely audience.
1:08:55 Tony, I'm happy to do a members-only stream. I think I'd have to schedule it at a convenient time for you because we're still early on in the membership phase. I think that would give you a great opportunity to ask lots of different questions.
1:09:16 Thank you so much, TJ. Yeah, it's never too late to start the rest of your life. I absolutely agree. We're all learning and we're all growing. Coming here has really helped me a lot with personal growth and just seeing the resilience and strength of the people.
1:09:36 It's such an incredible country, and I feel so fortunate to be able to spend time here. I know it's a great privilege, and many people around the world are watching vlogs here and dream of coming here. I hope it's as healing for them as it has been and continues to be for me.
1:09:56 But yeah, thank you so much for your subscription, TJ, and I appreciate you joining the channel. Thanks so much, everyone. So, to kind of wrap it up, if you're watching this on replay and want to see more content like this, please subscribe to the channel down below. Feel free to comment any questions or thoughts you have about Tagete; feedback is always welcome.
1:10:23 If you haven't yet and enjoyed this, give us a thumbs up. You can always give us a thumbs up after the stream. Thanks so much, Gerard. I look forward to chatting with everyone again. I'll probably do another stream mid to late week.
1:10:40 Thanks so much, Foreigner asking questions in the Philippines. Check out his channel too; his channel is really good. He does interviews here in Dumaguete and beyond. So yeah, I'm so glad you enjoyed the stream, and I really appreciate that you think I'm a wealth of knowledge. I feel the same way.
1:10:59 Until next time, I hope everyone has a great evening or a great day, and we'll talk soon. Bye-bye.
Follow the journey through expat life, travel experiences, and the realities of living abroad while exploring different places, cultures, and everyday life overseas.
