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The Philippines offers a unique blend of spontaneity, genuine hospitality, a lower cost of living, a strong sense of community, and a less structured convenience that fosters a more relaxed and present way of life compared to the regimented nature of Western societies.
The host reflects on what he misses about living in the Philippines, contrasting it with his current life in the US. He highlights the spontaneity he experienced there, where days were less regimented and allowed for exploration and unexpected encounters, unlike the structured routines of work, chores, and sleep common in the US. This spontaneity also allowed for more free time to engage in longer conversations and build deeper connections with people, fostering a more present and less hurried lifestyle.
He further elaborates on the warmth of Filipino hospitality, noting the genuine curiosity and welcoming attitude of people, which contrasts with the often transactional nature of interactions in America. This hospitality extends to everyday encounters, creating a sense of belonging and making people feel more welcome. The lower cost of living in the Philippines is also a significant factor, providing financial freedom and time freedom, allowing for more dining out, less focus on chores, and greater flexibility in daily schedules.
The sense of community in Dumaguete is another key aspect the host misses. He observes that communities in the US can be more exclusive and demanding, whereas in the Philippines, there's a more 'live and let live' attitude, with greater acceptance of differences and less pressure to conform. This leads to an easier integration into social circles and a comforting feeling of recognition and connection, even from strangers. Finally, he touches upon the convenience in the Philippines being less structured and app-dependent, which removes some of the pressures and 'gotcha' clauses often found in Western societies, contributing to a more relaxed and human-centered experience.
You likely miss the Philippines for its unique blend of spontaneity and genuine hospitality. The less structured daily life allowed for more unexpected encounters and deeper human connections, fostering a sense of presence.
Filipino hospitality is special because it's characterized by genuine warmth and curiosity, creating a welcoming environment. This contrasts with more transactional interactions often found in Western cultures, making people feel truly accepted and at home.
Spontaneity can improve life by allowing for more free time and unexpected exploration, rather than adhering to rigid schedules. This leads to richer experiences and a less hurried, more present way of living.
The community in the Philippines, particularly in places like Dumaguete, often embodies a 'live and let live' attitude. This fosters greater acceptance of differences and makes integration into social circles easier and more comforting.
Yes, the cost of living in the Philippines is generally lower than in many Western countries. This can translate to greater financial freedom and more time for leisure, dining out, and personal pursuits.
Convenience in the Philippines is often less structured and app-dependent compared to Western societies. This can lead to more human interaction and fewer pressures associated with rigid digital systems.
Viewers miss the Philippines for its spontaneity, warmth, and sense of community. The lower cost of living provides financial and time freedom, allowing for more leisure and social interaction. Interactions are often more genuine and less transactional than in the US, fostering a greater sense of belonging.
The cost of living in the Philippines is significantly lower than in the US, particularly in areas like the San Francisco Bay Area. This lower cost allows for greater financial freedom, enabling more dining out, less focus on chores, and more flexibility in daily schedules.
The Philippines offers a stronger sense of community with a 'live and let live' attitude, making integration easier and fostering recognition even from strangers. In contrast, communities in the US can be more exclusive, demanding, and sometimes lonely, with interactions often feeling more transactional.
Convenience in the Philippines is less structured and app-dependent compared to Western societies. This human-centered approach removes some of the pressures and rigid rules often found in the US, contributing to a more relaxed lifestyle.
Life in the Philippines is often characterized by spontaneity, with less regimented days compared to the structured routines in the US. This allows for more free time to engage in longer conversations, build deeper connections, and explore without a hurried pace.
0:02 Hey YouTube, Alex here. The last week or two, a friend of mine has been gearing up for an upcoming trip to Southeast Asia, specifically the Philippines. Man, I miss the Philippines. And so, I thought I'd do a video talking about some of the things that I've been missing about the Philippines.
0:20 I did something similar not too long after I came back to the US last year. I've had some time to reflect and really think about what I miss from my life in the Philippines. For those who don't know, I lived there for about nine months.
0:40 This was my second trip to the Philippines, and it's quite different from here in the US, even though they do speak English in the Philippines. And there are a lot of US veterans living in the Philippines. There's a lot of differences.
1:03 So, let's go ahead and get into it. These topics are a little bit different than what I think I've covered in the past. I would say the first thing that I miss is the sense of spontaneity.
1:15 Here in the US, things are very regimented. Things are very organized around work and chores and sleep. And most days look pretty similar. I get up, I go out to my car, I drive to work, I work, I come home, I do chores, eat dinner, go to bed, repeat.
1:41 But in the Philippines, I would get up and I would wander the city. I'd go out. But in the Philippines, I'd get up, I'd make some coffee, and after I finished my coffee, I'd just start wandering the city.
1:59 I'd have a video topic I wanted to make that day, but really a lot of the times I was just out to explore. Had no idea who I'd run into. Had no idea what might happen. I might hear some funny stories or see something I've never seen before.
2:17 But it's a very spontaneous feeling in the Philippines. No matter where you go, I think even in BGC, as modern as it is, you still have that sense that anything can happen. And that's very different than here in the US.
2:32 And alongside that spontaneity, you have a lot more free time to engage with people. So, something I noticed if here in town I run into somebody I recognize, often they're in a hurry. Sometimes understandably, they don't even stop moving. Oh, hey, hey, good to see you. You keep going. People have things to do.
2:55 But over there, often when I'd run into a friend, we'd talk. Maybe we'd decide to go and get lunch together. You have these long and drawn-out conversations that just don't often happen as much here.
3:09 Here it's like, "Oh, hey, how's work?" "Work's good. Okay, I've got to get things done. See you later." Whereas over there it's like, "Hey, how's your day going?" "Oh, well, you know, I got up. I had coffee. I reached out to some friends, seeing who's free today, what everybody has going on."
3:30 And because people have more free time, they don't feel like they need to rush through their chores or rush through what they need to do. Some people have a hard time adjusting to this, especially Americans when we move over there. We want to get like five or 10 things done in a day.
3:49 But then we end up finding out, "Oh, wow. I'm lucky if I get one or two things done in a day." And so, we adapt to this and our shoulders drop and we relax.
4:02 And we take time to observe or to witness different things that we would probably not notice. A friend of mine and I did an experiment. We watched a video and he said, "Let's pick out some things you notice." And we had to watch it 10 times to pick out exactly what happened in the video.
4:21 And I just feel like in the Philippines, because my mind is not so focused on the grind, I'm more present.
4:33 I I notice since I came back to the US, a friend will make a joke and I'll say, "Oh, can you repeat that? I was thinking about something else. I was thinking about a bill I forgot to pay or I was thinking about food that's about to go bad in the fridge. I was thinking about, "Hey, when's the last time my car needed an oil change?"
4:53 And all these other things that keep me locked into the future, not in the present moment. So, yeah, that's the first thing is that spontaneity factor.
5:03 That doesn't even get into when I started to make more Filipino friends and I'd see people on their way to work or I'd see people at work. And once people began to establish that I'm probably a little bit more laid-back than some foreigners, I'm not the type to get angry over small stuff.
5:25 I felt like some of my Filipino friends began to open up and trust me more and uh we could kind of break a little bit of that barrier down that can exist between people of different backgrounds. So, that was really a lot of fun and it's something that I miss.
5:41 Where here, everything is very structured and life seems to fit in around the work schedule. Where over there, living seems to be the top priority.
5:52 The next thing that I miss about the Philippines is the warmth of the Filipino hospitality. And I noticed when I was in the Philippines, people would often ask me where I'm from and they were curious about what my life is like over here and what brought me to the Philippines.
6:13 And really had this warm and engaging attitude like, man, they're actually really curious about me. Where in America, people start asking questions, I start wondering, what are they trying to sell me? And vice versa, a lot of times when you deal with people in America, it's for a business or it's transactional feeling.
6:39 Where a lot of the times there's this attitude here, okay, enough about you. Now, how about me? You don't get that in the Philippines.
6:48 I mean, even as simple as a guy I used to ride in his jeepney to downtown Dumaguete. Uh, often I I moved to a different part of the city, so I quit seeing him. And then I'm in a local clothing store and he recognized me. He was also shopping for something there.
7:13 And I didn't recognize him initially because when you're crowding in the back of the jeepney, you can't really get a good look at the driver, always just depending on how packed it is and the angle and all that. This is somebody that took time to say, "Hey, how are you doing? I haven't seen you in a while."
7:29 And I was able to let him know, "Hey, thank you so much for all of your help, but I moved to a different part of the city." But it wasn't just like, uh, okay, I'll never see him again. Where I feel like in the US, I don't think I'd ever run into a bus driver out at a local store.
7:44 I think the people just aren't living in the moment. A bus driver might see me at the store, but he's probably thinking about, "Okay, after this, I've got to go home and cook dinner, or I've got to uh go to bed early because I'm waking up at 4:00 a.m. to go drive."
8:05 Like, all these other things that I know Filipinos have those things going on in their lives too, but it just seems like that hospitality, that consideration, or warmth toward others is more present, and it makes me feel more welcome.
8:20 I can be a bit of a loner. I've had past struggles with social anxiety, and in the Philippines, that hospitality can really disarm that sense, where the people are warm-hearted, and you know they're not going to try to put you on the defensive, which is how you feel in America, at least some of the time, no matter who you are.
8:48 It feels like the society is uptight and stressed out to where no matter what you do, somebody's going to be unhappy with you. Where in the Philippines, I witnessed a great deal of patience from the people, even with troublesome or difficult expats.
9:04 I saw Filipinos handling them with grace and processing the transaction, getting through things in a way that I really admire. I admire that tact and grace. When I would go to like coffee shops, for example, in Dumaguete, I might be there for several hours. You have the drink purchase. I'm not being asked to leave. I'm not being told to hurry up. "Sorry, we don't have enough seats." None of that.
9:31 It's all good. Take however long you want. If you want to stay here from open to close, that's fine. If you don't have time to sit down and you're getting it to go, that's equally okay. There's this sense of happiness, I think, Filipinos have when they see that you love their country and you're not just a tourist, but you're staying for a while.
9:55 How many countries can we really say that about? Where a lot of foreigners are feeling very welcome and feeling very accepted even with our unique differences. I think a lot of foreigners aren't Catholic. A lot of foreigners, just by observation, are not Filipinos.
10:15 So, yeah, it's it's cool to have that sense of like, even though I'm not from here, I feel like it's a second home in a way.
10:22 I've tried to hold off mentioning this one until now, but the third reason is the lower cost of living. That cost of living freedom in the Philippines makes life a lot simpler.
10:32 So, a big thing that's changed for me living in Dumaguete to here in Northern California is that it's far more expensive to dine out here. You're spending 20 to 30 dollars a person easy to go out to a restaurant, and that's not really a fancy high-end spot. That could even be takeaway. Where I live, a burrito is going to run you 20 bucks.
10:59 And so, because it's cost-prohibitive, you end up not going out to eat very often. I would say I go out to eat around a couple times a month. I try to limit myself to every other weekend, Friday or Saturday or Sunday, I'll go get something to go, but most of the time I'm cooking at home, and that's just to help save money.
11:20 I can reduce my expenses that way. I could save more of my money, invest more of my money to eventually move back to Southeast Asia. But, that becomes complicated because in Dumaguete, I just think, what do I want to eat today? I could afford to eat at most of the restaurants in the city just about every day.
11:39 There's a few high-end places that are above budget for that, but I can try I would say 80 to 90% of the restaurants in Dumaguete on a daily basis, and I don't have to worry about prep. I don't have to go out, go to the market, buy ingredients. I don't have to.
11:57 buy ingredients. I don't have to calculate, okay, how long does this dish take to make? How is the cleanup going to look? What about storing leftovers because food's expensive in America, so I better have a storage plan for leftovers.
12:09 Um, oh, wow, this is going bad. Do I throw it away? Uh, do I try to cook it real quick and eat it real quick?
12:27 I know that when I'm in Dumaguete, one, the portions are smaller, so I'm much less likely to have leftovers. But two, if I have leftovers, I don't eat them. Uh, that was a couple bucks, where I go out and get a $20 burrito, and I eat half, you better believe I'm going to eat the other half for the next meal. That's 10 whole dollars right there.
12:45 So, uh, that pressure and complexity of the cost of living. I mean, another one is when I was in Dumaguete, I had a studio apartment. Very convenient part of town, up-and-coming, hot part of town.
12:59 A lot of people like to go to that area for nightlife, and I was living in proximity to one of the nicest hotels in the city, where now I'm renting a room in a house, and there's nothing wrong with that. I really like my roommates.
13:13 One of my roommates is actually Filipino, but that's a big change to go from a studio apartment where I have my own private space, my own key to my own door, and I don't ever share the space. I have time to myself to hey, I've got to coordinate between me and two other folks, who's going to park where?
13:36 Okay, hey, I got to get up early for work tomorrow. Can you try to keep it, you know, these kinds of conversations? Well, I have fantastic roommates. This is the best roommate situation I've ever had.
13:48 That's still not quite the same level of privacy that I became accustomed to in Dumaguete. I would say another thing about the time freedom is that I wasn't always having to watch my clock.
14:04 So, here in America, if I go down to a nearby city, I want to combine trips. I can't just go to that city any day of the week, anytime of the week. I work a full-time job.
14:20 And so, having that time freedom of, oh, you know what? I'm going to go all the way down the market just to get some bananas. It's It's kind of whimsical and kind of fun and you feel relaxed when you don't have to do everything hyper-efficient.
14:34 Now, I would typically would end up combining trips cuz I'd go down to the market and realize, oh hey, you know what? I'm low on peanut butter. I'll pick up some peanut butter. Oh, you know what? I'm going to go walk by my friend's favorite coffee shop cuz he's probably in there. I stop and I have a conversation.
14:53 But uh here, like for example, recently I went down to the nearest big city. I wanted to go see a friend, but he works late. With his job, he works until 6:00 p.m. And I had to work the next day at 6:00 a.m. and it's a several hour drive back home.
15:11 So, we had to just coordinate and agree, hey, you know what? Next time I come down here, we'll hang out, but for today, I need to be headed back up now because I've got work tomorrow. I can't unfortunately stick around and I don't want to have to get up at 2:00, 3:00 in the morning to make the drive back up.
15:31 I think I'm just going to go ahead back and we'll have to take a rain check. That never really happened in the Philippines. Occasionally, a friend would say, "You know, this week I'm going to stay at home. I feel kind of sick."
15:41 But for the most part, everybody that I hung out with had schedule flexibility and even with my friends who uh worked, because Dumaguete is so walkable and such a compact city and community, I could go hang out with Filipino friends after work, you know, all my Filipino friends basically work in Dumaguete.
16:01 And so, they're busy during normal hours, but after hours, you know, I could just go down there. Where here, it being car-oriented, more spread out, most people leave down First off, most downtowns in America are empty and boarded up and devoid of activity, uh, but even more so after business hours.
16:20 Almost nobody is going out to downtown San Francisco to hang out at night. Most people are not there. Same with downtown Oakland. A lot of these business districts where everybody works, they leave as soon as they can to to go home.
16:35 And if you're in a small town, a lot of people in small towns, they got families. Unfortunately, they just don't have the free time to hang out. They're busy taking the kids to soccer practice.
16:48 They are going to go on a trip to grandma's this weekend. So, the society with the economic pressures that exist in today's West, it can be isolating.
17:01 And so, that that time freedom, that money freedom, it's not just money. I think that's overly simplistic when people say, "Oh, it's just cuz it's cheap."
17:12 It's what that economic freedom allows you to do, how it allows you to design your schedule, to set things up the way that you want, and to have a lot of interesting interactions that hey, if you're at work, like, well, you got to get stuff done.
17:26 You You better get stuff done before you go off and do something fun, but then you're pretty tired, you're exhausted, you don't really feel up to it.
17:36 Point number four is I miss the sense of community in Dumaguete. In the United States, sense of community is really lacking. It's really dissipated since I think post-9/11.
17:50 It's just not as much of a social environment as it used to be. But, even for the groups out there, it seems like they've got a lot more rules than the groups in the Philippines.
18:00 There are a lot of interesting groups here, but it doesn't seem as much live and let live. It doesn't seem as much like freedom-oriented.
18:11 It seems more, hey, you join our group, we have these demands of you. We expect you to believe X, Y, and Z. We expect you to show up early. We expect you to donate your time. We expect all these things from you.
18:28 And so, you can find a place to fit in, but a lot of the times it's it still goes back to that transactional feel. Let me know if you disagree. Maybe you have a great community. Maybe you're very blessed in that way, where you don't feel like the group expects more of you than they provide to you.
18:45 But, in Dumaguete, I often felt like, wow, if I'm late, that's okay. We're in the Philippines. Not everything happens on time in the Philippines. There's a more relaxed nature. And if I have a little bit different belief than the rest of the group, that's fine.
19:04 We don't really get into it, because people aren't so pressured. I feel like one of the reasons people are trying to figure out what do people believe or what do people agree on is because people feel so pressured in the US and so when they feel more pressure, they feel like they have to establish who's worth my time and who's not worth my time.
19:23 And I had a friend in Dumaguete who was struggling economically and he didn't really have much to offer, but people would still welcome him into their group. People would still hang out with him even though he didn't have a big house or a fancy car.
19:38 And I thought that was really powerful that this guy with uh limited resources to offer was still accepted where I feel like here in the US, if you're struggling, it's a it's boiled down to a personal responsibility issue and people just don't really need each other here.
19:56 You know, the the attitude of the culture is like, hey, I got mine. What do I need somebody else for? And so there are places that have tight-knit communities in America, but I think they're hard to find.
20:12 I think it takes a long time to get into those communities where in Dumaguete, I felt like I had an instant circle of friends, an instant circle of people I could hang out with.
20:22 And that social atmosphere is hard to beat. I mean, I would have people pulling over on motorbikes and saying, "Hey, I see you from YouTube." Or "Hey, I watched you on YouTube."
20:34 People would do U-turns just to Even in like one of the five field global city, I had a subscriber pull over and say, "Hey, I love your content."
20:43 And that doesn't happen here even though I film content here. I know my content is expat centric, but nobody recognizes me really uh from the channel and it's certainly not happening every day.
20:54 Where in Dumaguete after a few months, I couldn't go out without seeing at least one person that I recognized and that's just such a comforting feeling when you have people that you know and you built up relationships with and friendships with and you really connected with people.
21:15 And so that's something I miss a lot about living in the Philippines is just that strong sense of community. People bond over all kinds of things over there and it's very easy to get to know people.
21:32 I noticed that my concern about interacting with strangers really came back since I came back to US. In the Philippines when I interact with Filipinos, I never had that sense of, oh gosh, what's about to happen?
21:50 And that's something that is an issue here. When you have people approach you, you think, oh gosh, what are they trying to sell me? What do they want from me?
22:03 Are they a whack job like what I run into in San Francisco at times? People would approach you saying stop stalking me or stop following me. People with these paranoid delusions that think the world revolves around them.
22:21 And unfortunately, it's not uncommon to experience these days in the US. People that operate on the premise that they are the main character, that everything circles around them and they feel like a star when nobody's paying attention to them.
22:43 And it's it's weird. It's like when you don't have attention, you want it. But then when you go over to the Philippines and you feel satisfied by the amount of connection or attention you get, you don't really think about it.
22:54 And so it does feel much more lonely here compared to my experiences over there. The final point and is something I got from ChatGPT, but I didn't really think about before. You have convenience in the Philippines, but it's not overly structured.
23:11 Here, I feel like I have to download an app for everything. Where in
23:14 In Dumaguete, I don't think I had any apps for anything, and that's such a nice feeling when I don't feel like I have to download an app or put my password in. Even though the app's free, I better have my payment information available because it's premium, right? So, they want my credit card on file when they try to sell me some extra feature.
23:37 I tried to make a doctor's appointment recently, and they said it was my first visit, so I needed to bring my health insurance paperwork and additional paperwork related to a job. Then, a couple days before the appointment, they told me they couldn't fill out paperwork on my first appointment. I brought it anyway, and the doctor was very gracious to help me out with it.
23:59 But, there are all these rules that govern every little bit of Western society. Where, yeah, you can argue having an app is convenient. It's kind of cool to press a button and I can go pick up my coffee at McDonald's without having to stand in line.
24:16 The converse of that is that it feels like it removes the human element, or it's hard on your sense of humanity when it's like, "Okay, I've got to read the fine print for everything. If I haven't read every little bit of fine print, I'm going to find out some kind of gotcha clause."
24:34 There's much of life here that feels that way. It's like, "Okay, well, I need to line everything up perfectly because my time is so in demand." But, conversely, I've got to make sure that things are done properly because it's so expensive to make a mistake here.
24:51 Where in the Philippines, it's like, "Whatever. You know, I missed this or I missed that. If I am late for my visa, they typically take a fee and we're all good." Where here I spent about five hours doing my taxes this weekend. So I really had to read and double-check every little thing.
25:15 The last time I did my taxes, I took several days because I just didn't know much about taxes. That's yet another thing that you really have to pay attention to because it's like, "Wow, I want to make sure I don't overpay. I also want to definitely make sure I don't underpay because that's a big problem."
25:31 It was convenient to be able to do my taxes online, but it was still very regimented. And so that's something I like in the Philippines. If I want to get laundry done by somebody else, I don't have to download a laundry app, put in my credit card information, look at my work schedule, and schedule it after work, but they close at 5:00 p.m. and I get off at 5:00 p.m.
25:56 So I guess I could schedule it for the weekend, but I've also got... and you just spiral with all these things of like, "Yeah, okay. People are willing to do things for money." But I have to do a lot of things in a very regimented structure around my work schedule because most of us work 9:00 to 5:00 jobs.
26:12 And if you're working a 9:00 to 5:00 job, then it turns out a lot of other businesses and people also work 9:00 to 5:00. So you're trying to figure out, "Okay, how do I meet my schedule requirements to do these convenient things?" Otherwise, I'm going to have to take a day off work.
26:30 Um, which is kind of convenient that I have the ability to take time off work. I've accumulated time off work, but it still just feels very much rule-oriented. So let me know what you think about these comments. Do you miss the Philippines? Do you miss being in Thailand or some other country that may be different from your home country?
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