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The traditional American dream of homeownership and financial security is increasingly unattainable, leading many, especially those from difficult family backgrounds, to consider leaving the US for a more fulfilling and affordable life abroad.
The speaker, Alex from Eastern Dreamer, reacts to a video by Deconstructing Narcissism, sharing his perspective as someone who grew up in a narcissistic family environment. He resonates with the idea of encouraging people to save money and explore life in other countries, viewing it as a valuable experience even if it doesn't lead to permanent relocation. Alex highlights how his first trip abroad to Thailand in 2018 provided him with direction and a purpose beyond the materialistic and hollow 'purpose of life' often ingrained in those raised in narcissistic households.
He discusses the decline of the American dream, noting that the country is economically poorer than it used to be, with a government choice in 2008 that prioritized employment over maintaining a high standard of living. This has made single-family homes unaffordable for many young people, impacting their ability to start families. Alex suggests that the new 'American dream' for many is to leave the United States, especially if they can secure an online income and an emergency fund. He also touches on the oversaturation of job fields and the stagnating wages that result, making it difficult to get ahead financially.
The speaker further elaborates on the challenges of leaving the US, particularly for those without a supportive family. He notes that narcissistic families often lack virtues like mutual support and can be a source of conflict, making it more advantageous to pursue independence. While multigenerational living is sometimes suggested, it's not feasible for everyone. Alex emphasizes the importance of financial preparation, including an emergency fund and online income, before considering a move. He acknowledges that while the US dollar may retain some international purchasing power, the overall trend suggests a decline in economic opportunity and human capital within the country, leading more young people to focus on survival and automation.
Alex shares his personal plan to save and invest in the US for another decade, but his experiences abroad have shown him that alternative lifestyles are possible. He stresses the need for thorough research, as not every country is suitable for everyone, and personal experiences abroad, even negative ones, are valuable for self-discovery. He observes a societal shift towards mere existence and survival, with more people living in vehicles or shelters, and a growing disconnect between promised opportunities and current economic realities, making the traditional path to success seem out of reach for many.
Many choose to leave America for a better life due to the declining attainability of the traditional American dream, including homeownership and financial security. Economic shifts, stagnant wages, and a perceived decrease in the standard of living make alternative lifestyles abroad more appealing for personal growth and financial independence.
Leaving America can offer valuable life experiences, personal direction, and exposure to alternative lifestyles, especially for those from difficult family backgrounds. It can provide independence and a fresh perspective, though thorough research and financial preparation are crucial for success abroad.
To successfully leave America financially, securing an online income and building an emergency fund are essential. This preparation helps manage the transition and supports an independent lifestyle in another country, mitigating the challenges of stagnant wages and rising costs in the US.
The new American dream for many is increasingly about seeking independence and a better quality of life outside the United States. It involves pursuing financial independence abroad and exploring alternative lifestyles, as the traditional path of homeownership and upward mobility becomes less accessible.
Key challenges of moving abroad from the USA include the need for robust financial preparation, such as an emergency fund and a reliable online income. Additionally, navigating unfamiliar cultures and potentially lacking familial support, especially for those from dysfunctional backgrounds, are significant hurdles.
Many perceive the American economy as declining in terms of opportunities for the average citizen, with stagnant wages and unaffordable housing impacting the traditional path to success. This economic landscape is a significant factor driving individuals to consider leaving the US for a better life.
Many people are considering leaving the US due to economic shifts and a decline in the traditional American dream. Factors include unaffordable housing, stagnant wages, and a perceived decrease in economic opportunity compared to previous decades. The video suggests that for some, the new 'American dream' involves relocating abroad, especially if they can secure an online income.
Living abroad can offer valuable life experiences and a new perspective on one's own country, even if not a permanent move. It can provide direction and purpose, especially for those who grew up in difficult family environments. Exploring different lifestyles and countries is seen as beneficial for self-discovery and expanding life options.
Financial preparedness is crucial before considering a move outside the US. This includes having an emergency fund and securing a source of online income. Thorough research into potential destinations is also important, as not every country is suitable for everyone.
The video suggests the traditional American dream of homeownership and upward mobility is becoming increasingly difficult to achieve. Economic factors like the choice made in 2008, which prioritized employment over maintaining a high standard of living, have contributed to this. This has made it harder for many young people to get ahead financially.
Individuals from toxic or narcissistic families may find it more beneficial to seek independence abroad. These families often lack mutual support and can be a source of conflict, making relocation a better option than staying. The video notes that the 'normal rules and possibilities' may not apply to those from such backgrounds.
0:02 Hey, deconstructing narcissism. I just wanted to let you know I've been watching your channel for a while. My name is Alex. I do a channel called Eastern Dreamer, and I grew up in a narcissistic family environment.
0:12 So, I understand to some extent what you're going through or what you've gone through. I'm a little bit older, so I got some of that post-08 melt-up in the economy benefit. I don't think Millennials have had it quite as hard as Gen Z.
0:31 But anyway, I get some of what you're going through, and I think that you made a great video to encourage people to save up some money and to try to experience a different country. I think that even if they fail, it's a valuable life experience.
0:46 For me, when I went abroad for the first time on my own, I went to Thailand in 2018. It gave me direction and it gave me something to work toward. Up until that point, especially when you're living with narcissists, you grow up in a narcissistic home.
1:04 The purpose of life is to consume, make money, and buy stuff. And it's a really hollow, shallow way to live. It's not fulfilling.
1:14 But when I went abroad, I made new friends. I met people who think differently than I do, that had different ways of living and embraced alternative lifestyles. It was just a really beneficial way for me to get out of the United States.
1:32 The American culture and the country itself isn't what it used to be. You talked about the challenges over the last 10 or 20 years. Post-08, the country is basically poorer than what it used to be.
1:44 The government had a choice in '08: Do we have high unemployment, or do we decrease everybody's standard of living? And they chose, well, we'll keep everybody employed, but they just won't live as good. People just won't have the same standard of living.
1:58 People will not be able to afford to live in a single-family home. I think that's really hit a lot of young people hard, myself included. I've owned a condo before, but I've never owned a single-family home, and it's probably not going to make any financial sense for me to do so.
2:16 So that also will put off family formation. You're thinking, well, I want to start a family. Most people don't want to start a family in a small apartment. Most people don't want to start a family in a rented room.
2:27 Many of us have shifted our goals like, 'Okay, I can't have the American dream here.' I think the new American dream is really to just leave the United States. And if you can build up solid online income, an emergency fund, I think that many young people will be well served to leave.
2:45 I think when you had the tech boom, there was great opportunity there. Now the zeitgeist is going to the trades. But if everybody becomes a tradesperson, you know as well as I know, it's not going to maintain a high purchasing power.
2:59 Any job field that gets oversaturated, and if the industry shifts and grows and changes, the opportunity is not forever. Similar with healthcare, if we have tons of people rush into healthcare jobs, the wages will stagnate and the cost of living is not going to come down.
3:15 I think most people understand this by now in the United States. And I think most countries, the prices are not coming down. They're not going to just all of a sudden, 'Oh, houses are cheaper now. Oh, food is cheaper now.' It's the necessities that seem to keep going up in price.
3:33 And when you come from a narcissistic family, you don't have anybody that you can rely on or turn to for help. Your family lacks virtues. When you come from that background, they don't believe in helping other people out. It's all about themselves.
3:47 They're overreactive. They get in conflicts with other people. They get in arguments with other people. They start fights with other people. And you're often, I think, when dealing with a narcissistic family, better off trying to make it on your own.
4:02 Because I found with my narcissistic family, they cost me way more than they could help me. So, we're at this time now where they talk about, 'Oh, we need to switch to multigenerational households.'
4:14 And that's great if you have a family that cares about you. I see this a lot online. 'Well, just move in with family.' Not everybody can do that. Not everybody has family that cares about them, that wants the best for them, that wants to see them be happy or to succeed in life.
4:29 There's quite a few people whose families don't like them because they're envious of their youth. They're envious of their capacity to try to move on from narcissistic abuse, to not internalize that overreactive cluster B kind of mentality, way of operating, the maladaptive behavior patterns, all of that.
4:54 And so, yeah, I think that this video you made suggesting people, I don't necessarily think everybody should just move away permanently. I think you do need to be financially prepared. You need an emergency fund, and you need online income.
5:06 But what a lot of people aren't admitting is it's like, 'What am I giving up? A $20 an hour job?' That's the bulk of the economy right now. It's basically $20 to $25 an hour jobs that will pay you enough to survive, but you're not getting ahead on that amount of money, not meaningfully anyway.
5:26 I know some people will throw out, 'Well, you know, people from other countries do that.' Yeah, they come with their extended family. They have people they can rely on. They can live in ways that we're not accustomed to living.
5:40 And it's different when you're, if you have a supportive family, it's different to say, 'Okay, I'm going to live with my family. We're going to share a small space, but we all get along decently well' versus, 'Okay, I'm going to go find 10 strangers and go rent a warehouse.'
5:55 Like, who knows what could come of that? Probably theft. You just can't tell. We've evolved into a low-trust society where we don't have the benefits of being able to rely on strangers like you could in the past in America, particularly during economic boom times when everybody was getting wealthy and getting ahead.
6:15 Like the '90s was the last real boom. I think the country peaked economically in 2000. I think it's worth a shot though, just trying it. I think a lot of people who come from families that are toxic or not functional, let's say, if they're able to build up enough income and enough of an emergency fund, they could be well served by looking at some other countries.
6:39 Some people throw out, 'Well, they'll ban Americans.' No, I don't think so. I think that the US dollar will always have decent purchasing power in some other countries just based on the lopsided trade agreements that we make with other countries.
6:52 It's kind of like the British pound. The UK used to be the world power, I think, 150 years ago. It no longer is. Right. Maybe 200 years ago as well. It no longer is. But that doesn't mean the pound is worthless currency.
7:07 Has it lost value? Yeah, it's absolutely lost value, lost purchasing power. But it's still somewhat functional enough where you're still seeing British expats living abroad off their UK rental property income. Maybe they have some dividends or a pension.
7:24 Similar with other western countries, whether they might be from the Netherlands, Scandinavian countries. These aren't necessarily on the same level as the US, but I think that there will be enough of agricultural production and some manufacturing output, software industry output, that there will be some amount of purchasing power coming with the US dollar.
7:49 Do I think it's going to go back to what it used to be? I don't know. Maybe, maybe in our lifetimes it'll get back to being that way. But I think that the human capital is not what it used to be in the United States with all the preserved foods and the lack of exercise, the emphasis on cheap entertainment like video games and television that a lot of Americans are not in the condition that they used to be.
8:11 And I'm certainly not. I've gained a lot of weight since I came back to America. I lived in Southeast Asia for two years. It was a great experience. There's just a lot of factors that are working against the US right now.
8:22 And I think more and more young people, they just see survival as their future. They're automating as much as they can. And so those middle-of-the-road jobs are harder to access.
8:34 And you do have jobs at the top, right? There's CEO jobs, but how many people can be CEO? Not everybody can be CEO. They're finite and high-paid for a reason. And a lot of these middle management jobs with each economic downturn, they get rid of a lot of them.
8:50 They see, 'Oh, okay, we don't need babysitters for our frontline employees. They could do a good enough job without them, and we'll just have them do whatever they can.' And if they mess up, well, there's so many people hurting economically. We can go find more people to work for $20, $25 an hour.
9:06 Yeah, I've got my plan. I think I'm going to be here in the US probably for another 10 years just saving and investing. I've got some targets I'm trying to hit economically, but those two years really taught me that there's another life possible out there.
9:19 You do need to, I think, research a lot. Like, not every place is going to be for everybody. I'm not one of those people that says go here or go there. There's places I've been or lived that I don't want to visit or live in again. But it was good for me to know, 'Hey, this is what this is like. This is what this option looks like.'
9:38 It's not for me, but it's probably for somebody else. I can speak to my experience there. It's not the heyday of the American economy right now. I think a lot of people are surviving. You see more and more people living in their vehicles. You see more and more people trying to camp out or live in shelters.
9:55 They on one hand talk about how they're going to get rid of the homeless people, but like there's too many homeless people. You can't, there's no kind of ethical way to get rid of the poverty.
10:05 It's very accessible to have a leisure lifestyle. Like I go to work, I live in an apartment, I drive a crappy car, and I play video games in my free time. But that's just existing, that's just surviving. You're comfortable, you don't have to bust your behind in the same way you would if you're like, 'Hey, I'm trying to get a promotion.'
10:23 If I'm not trying to get a promotion, I go, I do my time. I do a decent job enough to not get fired, but I'm not staying late. I'm not trying to shadow the manager, asking how I could become the man. So that lifestyle is becoming more and more common.
10:36 But a lot of young people are like, 'Hey, this isn't what I was promised. I thought I was going to go to college, get a good job, live a certain standard that's just way out of reach.'
10:46 So anyway, I just want to thank you for taking the time to make the video that you made. I've been following your channel for a while. I think that you have a lot of insight into the challenges in this country, and I hope you continue to make videos and to share your experiences.
11:03 I wish you tons of success in your journey wherever you end up in the world. Hopefully, we'll cross paths at some point. But yeah, thanks so much and have a great rest of your day.
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