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The Philippines, particularly Dumaguete, offers a unique lifestyle balance, combining a lower cost of living with a high quality of life, making it an attractive destination for those seeking to escape the 'rat race' and pursue personal fulfillment, including finding genuine relationships.
Chad Foster, a Canadian expat living in the Philippines, shares his journey from a burnout career in the US to finding a fulfilling life in Dumaguete. He highlights how the lower cost of living and relaxed pace allowed him to escape the 'rat race' and pursue his passion for YouTube, transforming his life into a less stressful and more enjoyable experience. Chad emphasizes that Dumaguete offers a perfect blend of natural beauty, city conveniences, and a friendly atmosphere, making it his chosen home.
The discussion delves into the mindset shift required for a balanced life, moving away from the pursuit of material possessions towards valuing experiences and personal freedom. Chad explains that true happiness comes not from acquiring things, but from financial independence and the ability to spend time on activities one enjoys. He contrasts this with the common Western focus on work and possessions, suggesting that the Philippines provides an environment where quality of life can be prioritized without sacrificing comfort.
A significant portion of the conversation focuses on dating in the Philippines, addressing common misconceptions and offering advice for foreigners. Chad stresses the importance of patience, cultural awareness, and looking for genuine connection rather than superficial traits. He advises against common mistakes like pursuing 'trophy wives' and highlights that true relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and a shared vision for the future, noting that the Philippines offers unique opportunities for men of all ages to find fulfilling partnerships.
Expat life in Dumaguete, Philippines, offers a balanced lifestyle with a lower cost of living and a relaxed pace. It's an attractive destination for those seeking to escape the 'rat race' and pursue personal fulfillment. Dumaguete provides a unique blend of natural beauty, city amenities, and a friendly atmosphere.
Yes, Dumaguete is considered an ideal expat destination due to its balanced lifestyle, offering access to nature, city conveniences, and a relaxed pace. It allows individuals to prioritize experiences and personal freedom over material wealth.
Dating in the Philippines offers unique opportunities for foreigners, but requires patience and cultural understanding. Genuine relationships are built on trust, respect, and mutual support, rather than superficial attraction or financial gain.
The cost of living in Dumaguete is significantly lower than in many Western countries, contributing to financial freedom for expats. This lower cost allows for a higher quality of life and the ability to focus on experiences rather than material possessions.
The Philippines, particularly Dumaguete, provides a rapidly developing environment with significant lifestyle advantages. It's ideal for those who prioritize experiences and balance over material wealth, offering a less stressful and more enjoyable way of life.
Finding genuine relationships in the Philippines involves looking for connection based on trust, respect, and mutual support. Patience and cultural awareness are key, avoiding common pitfalls like seeking superficial traits or focusing on financial aspects.
Foreigners cannot directly own land in the Philippines, though they can own houses. The land ownership typically remains with a Filipino spouse or family member. This arrangement can be complicated, as the landowner could potentially sell the land, impacting the house owner. Some suggest obtaining citizenship or understanding the complex laws thoroughly before making property investments.
A good woman in the Philippines will be supportive, a positive influence, and may even refuse your money or help pay off your debts. Genuine relationships are built on mutual respect and trust, not financial gain. Avoid those who seem solely interested in your money.
While many find the Philippines appealing, some experiences can be challenging, with potential for it to be a 'nightmare' for some. Issues like ageism in job ads and complex property laws where foreigners cannot own land can create difficulties.
Financial freedom is key to a fulfilling life, shifting focus from material possessions to experiences and personal time. This mindset change, rather than just accumulating wealth, allows for a less stressful and more enjoyable existence.
0:01 It started with just a conversation. To me, it's the perfect place, and I always came back to the Dumaguete area. I was waking up in the middle of the night thinking about it, going, 'What am I doing? It's worth it for people to find things that they truly enjoy doing.' Dums guys are going to find that they are grateful to be with you, they're happy to be with you. You can get into trouble with these kinds of girls. Don't chase the trophy wife. I could be gone for a month, come back, and I know she's going to be there. It's more fun in the Philippines, guys.
0:24 Hey YouTube, Alex here. In tonight's video, I have for you an interview with my good friend Chad Foster of Chad Foster Explores. He's been here in the Philippines for a couple of years and has videos covering a variety of topics on this channel. So fortunate to get time with him. I hope you enjoy tonight's interview. Without further ado, let's get into it. I want to welcome my new friend Chad. We've had a chance to have some great discussions here. I'm sure most of you are familiar with this channel, Chad Foster Explores. I've been learning so much from him. Chad, if you could just go ahead and introduce yourself and share a bit about your channel?
0:58 You bet. Yeah, yeah, Chad, thanks for the intro, man. Appreciate it. Nice to get together again. From Canada, been living in the US, and came out to the Philippines almost two years ago. Started a YouTube channel when I first came here. Yeah, kind of a life-changing experience, to say the least. From, I planned to come out here for nine months and then get back to life back in the US. Here I am, almost two years later, and I don't see changing anytime soon. So it's good. In all of the expat destinations I've been to around the world, I've always met people that told me, 'Yeah, well, I thought I was coming for like a month, and here I am years later.' It's humorous to me just how often I hear that line of thinking.
1:39 A lot of people that I meet here in Dumaguete, they're at traditional retirement age. They're 65, they're drawing a pension, they're drawing Social Security. I think guys like us are atypical here. I think that's changing. But do you ever feel like you get judged for being an atypical guy in terms of age?
1:54 No, I would say not at all. I'd say, like, speaking of foreigners that I've met, especially like here in Dumaguete, I found it to be easy to connect with people. People are curious about this is my experience. And I know people sometimes complain about trying to meet people here and other foreigners being not welcoming, but that hasn't been my experience. I've made friends of all ages. I mean, you're 31, my friend Jerry is 82, and I met him here. And everything in between. I think it's great. As far as Filipinos go, they might make comments that you're really young. It's kind of cool. It's like, 'I am. I didn't know I was young.' So you get a lot of that, like, 'I'm the young guy in town now.' 'You're the baby in town.'
2:33 That's definitely reassuring. I think more and more young guys are curious about it. They want to come check it out. You had a career prior to coming here. I find a lot of us in the US were in a rush, have this kind of rat race vibe going on.
2:48 What was the moment like when you realized you had changed from that rush, rush, rush mentality to a more laid-back, calmer version of yourself?
2:59 Man, I was in the rat race. It was years in the making. So, like, I had an inclination that I wanted to come to the Philippines years before I came. It started with just a conversation with a coworker who's from the Philippines. And I was burnt out working in healthcare. And so I was like, not frantically, but I was busting my ass to try to figure out how I was going to pull away from work to be able to come over here and take a big sigh of relief. So I worked on investing in real estate and getting a couple of rentals together. And then, and it was a lot. I mean, I was burning the candle on both ends. And so when I arrived here in the Philippines, it was an immediate, 'Oh wow, I'm here.' And you know, seeing the cost of living right away and how it takes the pressure off. And the bit that I was earning from my rentals was enough to carry me along. And the pressure was gone, man. So it was kind of an instant thing. And then YouTube came around and started to become my new focus. But even when I'm really busy with that, it doesn't feel like work half the time. Like I'm not, I don't love editing stuff, and there's days where you're just grinding it out. Like it's not, it is work for sure, but compared to working in nursing homes and some of the drawbacks of my career, I was grateful for it. But, you know, it's so different. And so yeah, man, it's been a stress-relieving, nothing but 95% positive change in my life coming over here, for sure.
4:20 That's so relatable. And I think, you know, sometimes some people might be like, 'Ah, Chad, he's a young guy, why would he want to live in a retirement community?' I've gotten that too. I grew up in a retirement community. You've obviously spent time around a number of senior citizens, so this isn't a population that is totally foreign to you, right?
4:37 I know that you've traveled around the Philippines, you've been to different parts. What makes you pick Dumaguete over your other options?
4:46 Good question. Because coming back here after traveling around for about a year and a half and getting a good feel for Manila, Cebu City, even like province areas that I really liked, Liloan, Siquijor, Bohol, a bunch of places. I needed to think like, where was going to be the right fit for me? And I always came back to the Dumaguete area. It always felt like home. I think the people I connected with here. To me, there's so many advantages of living in this area. And now that I'm back, I'm seeing more and more reasons why I made the decision, but I'm even more excited because I've found some new things even since coming back here. So easy to make friends here. I find I'm a nature lover. I love exploring. I love getting on a scooter and heading up into the jungle. It's got amazing waterfalls, hiking. Dumaguete has everything that a city for me that I would need in the city for shopping or just whatever. There's restaurants, the boulevard's pretty cool. And it's busy though, so you can get out of Dumaguete. Like it is loud and there's traffic and congestion. And then you have Valencia, 25 minutes away, which is for me perfect. It's a little quaint little town. It's the backyard. There is incredible. That's your jungle backyard. And then you roll down the hill where, or if you're in Dumaguete, you roll down the coast and you have Dauin and you have snorkeling and reef. And there's day trips galore. There's so many gems. There's good food. And the more time you spend here and you meet people that introduce you to a new restaurant. If you love ethnic food, there's food from all over the world here. It's good Filipino food too. Food has always been an issue for me when I'm out in the province. So I needed to live in a place where I had access to, like, in my opinion, good food. And Dumaguete has so many good options, same with Valencia and Dauin. Good coffee shops. It's got everything. And then it's got the airport, it's got a ferry port, so you can go in any direction. It's easy to travel from. It's central, honestly. It's to me, it's the perfect place. So yeah, the drawbacks are minimal for this area. So yeah, that's, I could go on and on about honestly why I like this area.
6:51 I feel the same way about Dumaguete. I've been to several different parts of the Philippines, and it's like, I felt like the three little bears. 'Ah, this one's too this, and this one is not enough of this.' And here, it's everything. It's I've got the food, I've got the transportation. If I want to go on a vacation from my vacation, I can do that. That's so interesting.
7:08 I could go on and on also about how much I like it here. You mentioned that you originally planned to come for nine months. Can you share a bit on what that moment was like when you decided, 'I don't want to just stay here for nine months. I like it so much. This is my life now.'
7:24 Yeah, okay. So, I mean, I had many moments during my first nine months here where, I mean, I didn't want it to end. I wanted to keep exploring. I had a date in mind that I wanted to go back and see my family and go back to my place in Florida and check on it. I also wanted to go back and save some money. So, I mean, I was doing the YouTube, but, you know, not a lot of money coming in, and I was spending more than I was making. So I wanted to go back and work for a little bit. I was going to move back into one of my places in Florida, get back into the rehab scene and start saving. So it hit me the hardest and the most recognizable about four weeks after returning to my life. And I was playing options. I was getting everything lined up to go back to work. I was like, awake at night, like I was waking up in the middle of the night thinking about it, going, 'What am I doing? I'm just dreaming about getting back to the Philippines and continuing on that adventure and continuing to explore and figure out what kind of a life I can set up there.' And so at that four-week point, I made the decision to take a leap of faith. And rather than, I'm not recommending it, but I mean, I had the rental income, but rather than going back to work and saving, I'm like, 'I'm just going to focus on YouTube and really put my efforts into it and try to turn it into more of a, I guess, more of a job, more of a business, and take it serious to where I can hopefully earn enough to make it my new career, my new job, you know, plus my rentals.' And that's what I did. I came back and things started to pick up more and more, and it seems to be trending in the right direction. So yeah.
8:58 So Chad, I know you've been here in the Philippines for a couple of years now, and I think that has given you a deeper understanding of the culture and the lifestyle. How has Dumaguete changed since you first arrived here? Some of that could be your perception, and some of that could be the reality. I mean, the...
9:18 The most noticeable changes are the physical ones. When I first came here, I noticed construction, new restaurants, and new buildings, which are signs of growth. Some areas seem trendy and nice, with pretty architecture, showing the direction things are going. Over the past couple of years, it's continued on that trajectory of going up in a positive direction.
9:50 Many areas show people building residential homes and apartments. There's pretty high demand for rentals, not just from foreigners but also from Filipinos moving here for work opportunities. Culturally and as far as the vibe, I haven't noticed too many changes. I found it to be friendly from the beginning.
10:11 As you mentioned, there's a pretty big retirement community here, and the vibe amongst retired guys is pretty chill. They're done with the rat race and are here to relax and enjoy. Filipino people are naturally pretty chill, and it's not a huge city like Manila, so it doesn't have that typical big city pace.
10:36 The pace is still relatively slow here. The changes are more about development: new restaurants, new buildings, and probably more people moving in, including more foreigners. I noticed more younger foreigners at the gym recently, with guys in their 30s and 40s. It seems like a younger crew is coming in.
11:06 I didn't get all their stories, but maybe they're digital nomads or early retirees. There are changes like that, but for me, they're good changes. There are new restaurants I've found that I love, and a new gym I started going to. There are a lot of cool spots here, and I like the direction it's going.
11:27 I absolutely agree. There's this optimistic vibe in town, a sense that tomorrow will be better than today. That's so important for our mental well-being as younger expats. Things are really happening here, and that's how I feel when I come to Dagat, despite it being known as a place to chill out.
11:45 It's improving, with all these new changes and things coming up. The Philippines is rapidly developing and changing. You were a successful guy back in the US with rentals and a career. Some might wonder why you'd take a massive risk to move halfway around the world.
12:15 It's easy to answer that. For me, it was a grind. I'm grateful for my job, and I worked hard to get it. It was a good opportunity to work, save, and meet people, but there wasn't a day I went to work that I didn't think about my exit plan. I wasn't excited to go to work; I just had to pay the bills and meet savings goals.
12:45 That drove me because I had a vision of a life with more balance and more time to do the things I wanted. I was just going go go so I could get to a place where the cost of living is cut in more than half. That frees up a lot of time and allowed me to try something different, like YouTube.
13:10 It allowed me to try YouTube and see if I could earn money doing something I enjoy more, something I'm excited to dive into, be creative, and meet new people. I love it way more. It's not easy, and I still have a long way to go, but I love it and feel like there's no ceiling.
13:31 I feel like I'm in control of it; it's up to me how much I put into it. It's worth it for people to find things they truly enjoy doing. There's a lot of hustling here, but earning US dollars gives you a unique advantage and creates an unbelievable lifestyle opportunity.
14:01 Absolutely. I think that's such a great point about the mindset shift. A lot of younger guys see influencers living these high-flying lifestyles, going from nothing to fancy cars and nice homes. But it's still a grind, and they don't own their time because they have payments to make.
14:28 What can you share about a mindset shift for younger guys who see that but aren't thinking about financial freedom or wanting to be like Chad and own rental properties to jet off? Did you always have this mindset of pursuing financial freedom, or did it develop over time?
14:52 I wouldn't say it was at a young age; it hit me a bit later. I went through a period of wanting things. I remember having an old car that cost $1,000, and I put a stereo system in it that cost more than the car. My family thought it was a dumb investment.
15:15 I was delivering pizzas and saving my money for a stupid stereo system. I was just into music at the time, and they were like, 'What are you doing?' I remember the feeling of guilt, like when you spend money and then feel dumb about it. I returned it all, losing money on fees and installation labor.
15:44 Over time, I started to recognize that you don't get much happiness from material things. Also, I wasn't happy grinding all the time, feeling like I didn't have time to enjoy life or the things I spent money on. I was even fussing over dumb material things, like countertop materials.
16:19 I remember spending weeks going to different places, worrying about which countertops to get, when it really didn't matter that much. While you can get more rent for a nicer place, my point is it doesn't have to be like that. I was so picky about stupid stuff.
16:37 Over time, I saw this vision of myself having more time and freedom. I started looking at my money being spent on things that would earn me money. If I buy a house, I want to house hack, turn my property into a revenue stream. That was the sole purpose of buying.
16:59 I could have bought a big house and afforded the mortgage, but I wouldn't earn anything from it. So, my whole point was: is there a rental option? Can I convert a garage into an apartment? In my case, it was a double lot, and my vision was to fix it up, refinance, and build a rentable guest house.
17:20 I got lucky with the market and timing, buying when it was low and then everything went up with low interest rates. But my thought was always: I want to turn this into an opportunity for me to find freedom and financial freedom, find happiness. It's just been that way ever since.
17:36 Coming here, you can balance financial freedom and savings with a high quality of life because of the cost of living. That's why this makes sense for me. I like comfort and certain nice things, but they don't have to be fancy. I don't need marble floors or palaces.
17:54 I can afford comfortable things that I'm used to here. I can find the right balance for me where I have time and freedom. I recommend everyone stop chasing material things. Happiness doesn't come from obtaining goods, keeping up with the Joneses, or buying a depreciating asset like a fancy car.
18:18 You love the car when you drive it for the first few days, but after a few weeks, it's just a freaking car. It gets dirty, you've got to wash it, and then you start thinking about how much money you're sinking into it. Then you start to resent and hate the car. It's not worth it, it's just not.
18:32 I grew up in a lake town, and this common phrase would go around: the two best days of boat ownership are the day you buy the boat and the day you sell the boat. Everything in between sucks. You're paying primo for that gasoline on the lake, you've got to pay the docking fee, you've got to pay somebody to clean it, or go get up on Saturday morning when you're supposed to have the day off and go wash your boat. It just becomes this giant time and money sink.
19:02 The joy of things wears off very quickly, and then you're left with the reality. We talked a bit about dating; two-thirds of young men in the western democracies are single. There's a lot of content coming out about guys going overseas to date. Historically, there have been some negative feelings about it, like, 'Oh, she's a mail-order bride.'
19:20 What do you think young men have to gain or to benefit in terms of the differences in dating here in the Philippines versus dating back home where we're from? Like, everything has pros and cons. I don't want to say that dating and relationship opportunities here are perfect; it's not like this paradise where you can just show up and they're at the airport chasing you, 'Pick me, pick me!' like it's not like that.
19:43 Well, in a way, it kind of is. But the problem is, the ones that are waving at you and throwing themselves at you, that a lot of foreigners end up with are not really the type that are going to be that genuine, let's just say, wife material or whatever. Because there's a lot of pitfalls here too. However, there are many, many good ones too.
20:04 And what I think is unique about Filipinas and the opportunity to meet a good partner here right off the bat, I think you're going to find being with someone, you're going to find that they are grateful to be with you. They're happy to be with you, they appreciate you, they will do things to show you their appreciation for being with you. Everyone talks about they're caring and they'll look after you; that's definitely true.
20:27 And I think there's definitely a thing that a lot of Filipinas do desire a relationship with a foreigner. A lot of it's genuine, and there's just culturally here, they're drawn to foreigners. There's even those that don't need money. My buddy is dating a girl who's wealthy in the Philippines; she just always wanted to be with a foreigner. She just likes the idea of it.
20:52 There's other reasons why, so culturally, you're coming to a place where you're appreciated, and there's a lot of draw to being with a foreigner. There's a lot of pitfalls, there's a lot to learn, you can find yourself in bad situations if you're not careful.
21:04 Yeah, whatever age you are, there's a lot of good Filipinas here for you. For older guys that experience ageism back home where your value goes down, like the way people look at you, they value you less as you get older. They look at you as someone that's not as capable. This is just generalizing ageism, but it's a thing in the West.
21:25 I mean, I experienced it a lot just working with older people and hearing their stories. You're not looked at like looking for romance and looking to have fun and be youthful; it's almost frowned upon. Like you should dress old and act old if you're old. Where here, it flips upside down. Your value goes up, you're appreciated, you're looked at as someone that has wisdom and maturity.
21:45 And a lot of younger girls, you know, within a range, have genuine intentions and would love to be with an older, mature guy for those reasons. They don't want the games, they don't want the young, immature guy that they can't trust or whatever. They'd love to be with an older guy with experience and learn from.
22:02 And it's culturally accepted here, so what a unique opportunity for a guy to come here and feel appreciated and feel young again and have all these new opportunities. So for all ages, it's a great place, but there's a lot to learn and figure out.
22:16 I want to mention it again, like it's not perfect, and there's a lot of guys are frustrated here trying to meet someone. But there's some ways around that, but it takes time. And maybe you can explore that more in future videos. I talk about it a lot in my videos too.
22:30 But Chad does a great job with a lot of topics, but I think one of the things that stands out in terms of value for us younger guys is covering dating. And I think he does the topic justice. I think he's respectful. I think there's a lot of nuance in the topic to go over.
22:48 What's the biggest misstep that you see younger guys make when they come over here? I mean, young guys, old guys, I think guys are guys a lot of the times when it comes to girls. And I think the mistake or misstep is pretty common across the board.
23:00 Now, this depends on what the intentions are. If a guy wants to come here for a genuine relationship of some sort, the most common thing guys do is get distracted and go down the wrong path. And like I said, there's a lot of Filipinas that are the first ones that you're going to come in contact with. They're the ones that are all over the dating apps.
23:18 They're the ones that are putting the effort in to meet someone. A lot of those girls that are metaphorically waving at you and throwing themselves at you, you can get into trouble with these kind of girls. A lot of them are younger, super hot, and they're giving guys attention that they're not used to back home.
23:34 We are cavemen sometimes, like we're dumb dumbs. Guys are, and when we have these cute girls that are giving us attention, or if we're online and we're swiping, a lot of times guys will sort of go after or pursue someone even if in the back of their head they're like, 'This is probably not the type that I should pursue or should be with.'
23:52 'But she's so cute, oh, and she's giving me attention, oh, I got another message from her, okay, I'm going to meet her.' Next thing you know, you're spending a lot of time dating, or some guys getting into trouble or handing money away and things like that because they're caught up in the guilt or whatever these girls are doing to plant the hardships and stuff like that.
24:13 There's a number of things I can go into detail of, a lot of stories of guys that I've met, talked to about how they're down a lot of money because they were hoping this girl was going to be their trophy wife. In fact, I just talked to someone a few days ago about this whole thing, and he spent so much money on her.
24:31 And I'm trying to steer him away, and he's like, 'But I've already invested so much.' And that's his reasoning to keep going like this girl is not genuine, man. You know, so these are the kind of things that guys can get into trouble with. Don't chase the trophy wife because they are here, and they're very cute, and they're giving you attention.
24:47 And try to focus on the things that you know, like write some things down so you can remind yourself of what you're actually looking for, and does that person meet that criteria? And if there's red flags early on, don't ignore red flags and don't ignore your intuition. Like if your gut is telling you something, nine times out of 10, you're probably onto something, and it's not worth it.
25:07 There are so many single Filipinas here. We've all made this mistake to some degree where you just let it slide, or you'll just let a few red flags come in, and you know the same thing. So cute, getting the attention, that affection can be overwhelming. Stay true to what's on your list, even if you don't write it, you just know it. And stay true to your intuition.
25:33 Kind of know what's if you're going down the right path or not. Half the time, you somewhat answered my question. One of the things that I wanted to dig into, there's young guys, they're watching you, they're like, 'Man, Chad's living the life. I can't wait to get over there. I'm going to find my girlfriend on day one. They feel lonely.'
25:47 What insight can you share for them to kind of steer them toward mindfulness such that they don't immediately start sending half their paycheck to a woman they've never met? They don't, you know, get engaged a week after landing. What can you kind of share with them to say, 'Yeah, look, I get it. I've been there. I've been lonely back home.'
26:04 Don't make a major mistake based on your experiences to date. Well, set strict guidelines for yourself and stay true to them. Don't feel desperate, even though you're having no luck back home. You're coming to a place where, I hate to say it, no, I don't hate to say it, you are the catch. Like, you are, most guys are a catch here, assuming you're a good guy and you're not some, you know, someone with whatever bad intentions or what.
26:28 There's a lot of maybe not great guys here too. But if you're just a good guy, it doesn't matter if you're considered nerdy back home, if you're considered not great looking, or you don't have good style. It doesn't really matter here. I think the good girls, no, I don't think, I know the good girls here, they don't really care about that much.
26:49 They do care about someone who's going to treat them well, respectfully, understand cultural differences, appreciate them, be open to like their often family, people, things like that. If you're a good person and you're honest and you treat someone well, you can find yourself with a girl that you never dreamed of being with.
27:08 But you have to stay true to that. You have to have faith in yourself and your ability and not come with this feeling of desperation. A lot of guys do that and they're like, 'Man, I haven't had this attention. I don't think I'm going to get another girl like this,' and they'll just jump in with that first cute girl that gives them attention.
27:20 So just know that.
27:25 You are the catch here, and just be a good person. Be very strict with yourself, know what you're looking for, and don't steer away from the things that you are really looking for in a relationship. I don't know, there's more that I think I was going to answer, I already forgot.
27:40 No worries, we do want to be mindful of your time. A lot of guys are thinking, 'Why would a girl that looks like that want to be with me?' You touched on that a little bit earlier, talking about the responsibility and maturity. I know that you have friends that have found successful, committed relationships, and you've probably had a chance to talk to their girlfriends or wives. Could you share a bit about what those girlfriends or wives have said to you? Is there a common thread among the good ones?
28:07 I often feel like with difficult relationships, they're bad in many different ways. With good relationships, they all seem to have some of the same factors over and over again. So, what are those things that the partners or wives of your friends have mentioned? 'Hey, I really like this about my husband,' or 'I really like this about my boyfriend who's come here from Australia or the United States or Canada.'
28:31 Yeah, there's without a doubt, there's a common thread. When it comes to finances, not a single one of all the guys that I've met that are in good relationships, married or serious relationships, not one of them ever put burden, like placed burden on them like some sort of hardship, 'Oh, I'm going to need some money, can you help me?' None of them have done that.
28:51 So right off the bat, I think you need to be super strict about if you're getting any of that, even after dating for a little while. If they're then starting to place that burden on you in any way and make you feel bad to try to get some financial help, whether it's them or the family, if you get any weird vibes about, 'Oh, there's a foreigner in the family, we can gain from this,' if you're getting that vibe in any way, turn the other way. It's not worth it.
29:12 Because every single wife or girlfriend that I've met that's with a good guy that I know, it just never happened. Not at all. In fact, a lot of them will do the opposite and they'll try to find ways to help support the cause of, you know, saving money, or 'Hey, let's not eat out, let's cook, I'll make something,' or talking about like building wealth together, like, 'How can I help you with what you're working on?'
29:39 You know, Mike and Janet, I like using them as a couple as an example. I love them. Janet is such a sweet, caring person. She has sort of bolted on to Mike in this wonderful way, and it's helped her so much too, where she wants to be a part of his life adventure and his YouTube channel, and she's learned so much. And now she's doing her own channel and streaming.
30:03 That doesn't mean that has to be the thing for you, but the fact that she has really supported him in his cause. He says things like, 'I could literally leave, like she has access to everything that I own. I could be gone for a month, come back, I know she's going to be there.' I know no money will be taken. He feels so much trust and so comfortable with her.
30:23 You need to feel that in a relationship, and that's where I get back to the intuition. Like, if you don't feel that, if something seems off, don't even bother. Do not bother, because all of the guys that I've met, they've never had that feeling. They feel the opposite. They are constantly reassured by their partner, never any even little lies.
30:41 I don't know, maybe there's dumb white lies, I don't know, but they're very honest. Let me just put it that way. They're very honest people. They all say the level of integrity is so high. To me, these are the key things, and this is what you've got to stick with because that's a common thread amongst every couple that I've met that are successful.
31:01 Have you ever met a guy who disqualified a few ladies early and then later found his long-term partner and was glad that he was patient? Paul, who you know as well, Paul here, old dog, his story is kind of like that. He came here and he's open about it, he's made videos about it. He dated and he didn't know what he was looking for, he didn't even know if he wanted to settle into something right away.
31:23 And it wasn't until a few years where he met his now wife, where everything changed. He kind of, what he saw with her and the interactions were such a high level of this feeling of trust and this feeling like she doesn't want anything from me. She doesn't want my money, she wants to help me. It kind of hit him that way.
31:41 He had a vision of seeing, he always says, like, 'I could see myself with her way down the road.' Like it was a clear path and a clear vision that he was comfortable with. And I learned a lot from that with him too. Like when I'm meeting someone, like, 'Can I see myself with them?' Yeah, maybe now it would be fun, but can I see myself with them way down the road? Does this seem like the right fit for me through thick and thin, through all of it?
32:02 And so that's how he kind of describes it. I think that happens a lot with guys here. It's some guys get lucky, some guys can find someone right away. I don't want to say it's not possible, that helps if you really, really know what you're looking for and you don't do those things that I was saying. You don't get distracted by the wrong type, you don't waste your time with that, essentially.
32:20 And if you really know what you're looking for and that person comes about and you're ready, that's another thing. How ready are you really? Because a lot of these girls, they're ready, and things move a little quicker here too, and you've got to sort of juggle that a bit. But are you ready to talk about the serious aspect of committing with someone?
32:34 And a lot of Western guys nowadays, especially, and girls over there, we have this mentality of we're reluctant to commit. Like we're so self-absorbed, we have our own life, we're independent guys and girls, committing to someone and changing our life to cater to them. And it's like, oh, I mean, I'm guilty of this. Like I've been so focused on my own thing and I, you know, I've made the mistake in the past.
32:55 And I've been married, and so now the next time, I want to make sure it's the right thing. But if you really know what you're looking for, it's going to help you a lot. I don't know, I'm steering away from the original question. What was the question again about? Oh, taking time before they meet someone, right?
33:08 Okay, I'm on track. Like another guy, I don't know Gio that well, but Gio's story is similar, right? Like he was here for a while and he had different girlfriends. This is a story that I understand in a nutshell, and now he's married, and it took him a while to find that person. I think there's a lot of other similar stories like that.
33:24 And it could just be you go through this period of discovery and figuring it out, figuring it out for your own sake. What are you looking for? What do you want out of life? And it's a relationship, it's timing, and it's being ready, knowing what you're looking for. It's different for everybody.
33:40 That's so powerful. You know what you mentioned about being ready for commitment? Part of it's just learning, right? If we've been single for five, ten years, we may have totally forgot what it's like to be in a relationship. We may have totally forgot, 'Wow, I need to consider the other person's perspective. I need to be prepared to, hey, they might want to go spend time with their family. Am I okay with that?'
34:00 Where back home, family is just not top of mind for a lot of people. It's there for some people, I'm not going to say it doesn't exist at all. But for most of the people I know back home, work is the number one priority. Friendship and relationship is number two, family is probably a distant third for a lot of people back home.
34:18 Unfortunately, that's just, I think, just kind of the way modern society is. Chad, I can't thank you enough today. You've been so generous with your time and your perspective. You have a lot of new nuance. I say patience is number one in the Philippines, number two is nuance. It's not, 'This is good and this is bad.' It's really trying to find that.
34:34 Gia, I do want to give you the final word and feel free to plug your channel again. It's everybody who's not yet subscribed should go and subscribe to Chad Foster Explores. But yeah, final word, over to you, Chad.
34:44 Chad, oh, just thanks for doing this with me, man. It's great. I love your channel too, and your content. We talked about this before, so you guys that are subscribed, if you're not subscribed to his channel, stay tuned for more. I know your channel's going in the right direction and it's pretty awesome. And yeah, if anyone wants to come to my channel, Chad Foster Explores, I would be grateful for that and check it out. Hopefully, there's some content there that you like.
35:06 And yeah, man, I'm kind of living the dream over here, eh? It's great. Life is good. It's more fun in the Philippines, guys. Get your butts over here. Thanks so much, everybody. Please subscribe if you haven't already. We'll talk to you soon.
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