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Expats must exercise good judgment in selecting locations, people, and managing finances to ensure self-preservation and a successful life abroad, as systems and safety nets differ significantly from their home countries.
The video emphasizes the critical importance for expats to exercise good judgment, distinguishing it from being judgmental. This involves carefully selecting a country and city that aligns with personal preferences, rather than assuming popular locations are universally suitable. The host uses Dumaguete as an example of a polarizing city, highlighting that what one person loves, another might dislike, and it's crucial to identify one's own preferences to avoid prematurely abandoning expat life.
Furthermore, the discussion extends to the selection of people and avoiding trouble. The host advises being discerning about who to associate with, as some individuals are more prone to legal issues or conflicts. It's essential to recognize signs of instability or problematic behavior in others and maintain distance, not out of malice, but for self-preservation. This judgment is also applied to financial matters, urging expats to focus on their own budgets and avoid comparisons, as everyone has different financial situations and goals.
A significant point is the lack of safety nets and familiar systems abroad compared to countries like the US. Expats are often thrown into the deep end, needing to learn new social and legal dynamics without the built-in support structures they are accustomed to. This necessitates a greater degree of caution and proactive judgment. The video also touches upon the diminished 'culture of redemption' in many expat destinations, meaning mistakes can have more lasting consequences, reinforcing the need for careful decision-making and self-awareness throughout the expat journey.
Making smart expat decisions abroad involves exercising good judgment in selecting your location, associates, and finances. Prioritize choosing a country and city that truly fits your personal preferences, rather than following popular trends. It's also crucial to be discerning about who you spend time with and manage your money wisely, focusing on your own budget.
Location selection is critical for expats because popular destinations don't always align with individual preferences, which can lead to dissatisfaction. Choosing a place that genuinely suits your lifestyle is key to a successful and enjoyable experience abroad. This careful selection is part of essential expat decision making abroad.
Managing finances as an expat requires wise decision-making and avoiding comparisons with others' budgets. Focus on living within your means and understanding your personal financial goals. This approach is vital for self-preservation and stability when navigating different economic landscapes abroad.
Overseas environments often lack the familiar safety nets and systems found in home countries, meaning expats must be more cautious. You need to actively learn new social and legal dynamics without the built-in support structures you're accustomed to. This lack of safety nets underscores the importance of good expat decision making abroad.
Self-preservation as an expat involves recognizing unstable individuals or escalating situations and knowing when to disengage. It also means understanding that mistakes abroad can have more lasting consequences due to a diminished 'culture of redemption.' Prioritizing these aspects is key to sound expat decision making abroad.
The video distinguishes between being judgmental and exercising good judgment. While being overly judgmental can be detrimental, exercising good judgment is essential for expats. This means carefully assessing locations, people, and financial situations to ensure personal well-being and success abroad.
The video advises selecting an expat location based on personal preferences rather than just its popularity. What one person loves, another might dislike, so it's crucial to identify your own preferences. This careful choice helps prevent prematurely abandoning expat life because the location isn't a good fit.
The video suggests being discerning about who you associate with, as some individuals may be prone to legal issues or conflicts. It's important to recognize signs of instability or problematic behavior in others and maintain distance for self-preservation. This judgment is about protecting yourself, not about being malicious.
The video recommends focusing on your own budget and avoiding comparisons with other expats. Everyone has different financial situations and goals, so comparing can be misleading and unhelpful. The key is to manage your finances wisely and live within your means.
Overseas environments often lack the safety nets and familiar systems found in your home country, like those in the US. Expats are frequently in situations where they must learn new social and legal dynamics without built-in support structures. This necessitates a greater degree of caution and proactive judgment.
The video notes that many expat destinations may have a diminished 'culture of redemption.' This means that mistakes made abroad can potentially have more lasting consequences than they might back home. Therefore, careful decision-making and self-awareness are essential throughout the expat journey.
The video implies that common sense and street smarts are vital tools for expats to navigate life abroad and stay out of trouble. Using your judgment to assess situations and people is key to determining what will be good or bad for you. This discernment helps in making smart choices rather than snap judgments.
0:04 Hey YouTube, Alex here. And in today's video, I want to answer the question: why expats should be judgmental, why they should exercise judgment. And so, without further ado, let's get into it. So the first reason is that you need to be selective in the country and the city that you decide to base yourself in.
0:21 I think one of the big mistakes a lot of guys make is they automatically assume because a certain city is popular that it will be a good fit for them. There's plenty of cities in the world that are great places to live, but not for everybody. Some places are better than others for some people.
0:38 Some people have certain preferences. Dumaguete is a great example of this. Dumaguete is a polarizing city. Some people love Dumaguete, couldn't imagine living anywhere else in the Philippines. Other people don't really care for Dumaguete, they wouldn't want to live here.
0:51 I have people in my comment section telling me, 'I could never live in Dagget.' Having the judgment to know what you do and don't like is extremely important. Be willing to judge, you know, 'I don't like this city because of X, Y, or Z reason. It's just not a good city for my preferences.'
1:07 You're not saying that that city is terrible. You're not saying that everybody in that city is a bad person. You're saying it's not the right fit for me. Some people prefer the big city, other people prefer the small town, and there's nothing wrong with either choice.
1:22 There's so many great options in the world. I think there's something for everybody. But if you assume that the first place that you go to is going to make you happy and that it doesn't, you may decide to give up on expat life prematurely.
1:35 There's definitely some places that I've been where if that was the first place I went, I think I would have called it a day and I wouldn't be living overseas right now. Some of those same exact places, other guys love.
1:48 They think that's it's the best place to live ever, they wouldn't live anywhere else. And that these places offer fantastic quality of life, good value for money. And I didn't feel that way.
1:57 If Al Eastman had been a little bit more judgmental, he might still be alive. He might have exercised some judgment and thought, 'Hmm, maybe these people don't like me very much. Maybe I shouldn't live here. Maybe it's not so safe to live here.'
2:10 Instead of just assuming, 'Ah, it's not that serious. They're not really that serious. It's not that big a deal.' This idea that you should just never judge, it sounds great on paper until you mess up and find out.
2:23 Another point I'd add here is some people say, 'Oh, they're not scammers, they're just, you know, this and that. They're hard up, blah blah blah.' No.
2:30 Calling it, just saying, 'You know what? I think they are a scammer. I think they are somebody I should avoid. I think that they are somebody that's up to no good and it's trying to take me for a ride.'
2:40 'Oh no, don't judge, don't judge. They're not really a scammer.' No, no. In some cases, they are a scammer and you should judge them. And you should make the determination, 'You know what? They are trying to rip me off. I need to avoid them. I don't need to give them my money.'
2:52 I don't know where these people get this idea, but you really do need to exercise judgment. I'm not saying judge a person's value as a person, but rather think about their intentions. Think about what they're after. Think about what they're trying to sell you.
3:10 Think about the potential consequences versus the potential benefits for that person. I don't think about, 'Oh, what is their ethics or what is their morality?' I think, 'What's in it for them?' And what are they potentially risking in regards to country and city selection?
3:24 I have friends from small towns who they would not be happy in a Bangkok or a Manila. They've been to these cities, they've told me, 'You know what? They're too intense, they're too overwhelming. There's too many people there. There's too much going on there.'
3:40 For some people, Dumaguete is a tiny town. For other people, Dumaguete is a huge city. I think you'd be surprised at the range of responses that the same city gets in terms of feelings about it, in terms of attitudes toward it.
3:52 The next point is that you need to be judgmental in your selection of people. And I, I know some people really don't like it when I say this. They feel like nobody should ever be judged.
4:05 And I'm not talking about judging a person's value as a person. What I am saying is that some people are more prone to getting in trouble or being trouble than others.
4:18 Some people run into legal issues. I don't want to be associated with people running into legal issues that would be otherwise avoidable. Some people are prone to getting into conflicts with other people.
4:31 You know, some people like to stir up drama. Trying to spot some of those signs early and keeping those people at arm's length, it's not saying they're bad people. There's plenty of people that I don't hang out with that I don't think are bad people.
4:46 Like, I'm not sitting here saying, 'Oh, they're so bad, this and that.' Rather, I don't like their actions. I don't like what they did, and I'm going to keep my distance from them because of those actions.
4:59 I'm not going to go around telling people, 'People, they're a bad person.' I'm not going to go around saying, 'Oh, they're such awful people.' Rather, I want my journey to be a long one.
5:07 One of the things I've had to learn is that we're not all in this together, contrary to what some expats might tell you. Everybody's got their own budget, everybody's got their own place to live, everybody's got their own dietary preferences. This is not a team effort.
5:21 It's an individual effort. For me, I prefer to hang out with people with shared values, people with whom I see eye to eye. We generally agree on what is right and what is wrong.
5:32 You may have a different definition of what is right and wrong for myself, and that's okay. Each person has to make a decision as to what they think is right and what they think is wrong.
5:42 There's a difference between being judgmental and exercising judgment. I pointed out to a friend that I generally don't discuss American politics here. He explained that it's only a problem when you disagree with someone.
5:54 I realized that he made a great point there. It's a great way to determine if you're likely to be friends with someone or not in the long term, not just short-term hangouts, but somebody you could really count on.
6:06 A lot of people assume everybody in Dagget is friends with each other, and that's not the case. People have different values, they live in different areas, they have a different sense of what's right and what's wrong.
6:17 You know, I wish it could be that way. I wish we could just all be friends and that we could all live in perfect harmony, but that's not reality.
6:23 The next reason that it's important to exercise judgment is that some people just have serious issues going on, and that's anywhere you go in the world. And if you're freshly arrived to town, or maybe you haven't known about this person or people for a long time, you may be totally unaware of these issues.
6:40 Unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world. We do not live in a just world or a fair world, and some people have issues going on. And acting like you're the expert when you're not from that country, you don't understand the social dynamics at play.
6:57 You have so many people from the West that have this know-it-all mentality, and I don't know why they bring it with them to Asia, but many of them do.
7:06 I'm not saying to discard your friends here. What I'm saying is you cannot fix all of everyone's problems. It's a problem here, you're going to run into people that will try to convince you they know everything.
7:17 Meanwhile, I'm a fan of exercising judgment and recognizing when someone is unstable, when somebody is not thinking clearly. Knowing when to back away.
7:24 'Oh, you're abandoning your friends?' No, one, I don't have that many friends, and neither do you. A lot of people mix up acquaintances and drinking buddies with friends.
7:33 I often find it's the people that have never lived over here or never visited for an extended period of time that think, 'Oh, all expats are friends, everybody's friends.' No, you don't know what's going on in somebody's head.
7:44 You don't know what they're thinking. You don't know what's happened in their past. You don't know if they have a criminal record. And saying, 'I don't judge, I don't judge,' those are some of the same people that get wrapped up in other people's problems.
7:57 Knowing when to back away, when to walk away from a person who is trying to escalate, is part of exercising judgment. It's knowing, 'You know what? This guy or gal, they're getting heated. They're getting upset. They are not thinking clearly.'
8:12 'I'm going to walk away. I'm going to get on my motorbike and drive somewhere else. I'm going to call up a trike or a taxi cab. I'm going to get away from here.'
8:24 There's this idea that some expats have, they need to be a tough guy or they need to be a hero. Maybe a portion of the time it works out, but I've noticed a number of cases in different parts of the world where guys thought, 'Oh, I'm the hero. I'm Billy Badass. I'm going to be able to just fix everything.'
8:42 And tough it out, and look at how cool everybody thinks I am. And then they end up with real consequences. And all of a sudden, it's not so cool, it's not so fun.
8:51 All these people that were encouraging them or egging them on have now turned on them. They're in a position where they're facing real consequences and they're having to come up with money that they otherwise wouldn't have had to spend.
9:05 Maybe they're having to go to the hospital to get treated for injuries. There's all kinds of potential consequences that can happen here that are similar to the consequences you could experience back home, plus the added aspect that you're not from here.
9:19 You don't know how it's going to play out because there's so many more unknown factors. I don't care what people think. I don't care if they like me. I don't care if they dislike me. If it comes down to it and I suspect somebody is not thinking clearly, I'm going to use my judgment.
9:32 Thinking clearly, I'm going to use my judgment, just get out of the situation. I'm not a tough guy, who cares? I don't care. Okay, I don't care if people want to think this or that of me. When you're an expat, when you're living abroad, self-preservation should be top of mind for you. And if it's not, you may find out the hard way. People say, 'Oh, don't be judgmental.' I'm not saying be judgmental or not be judgmental. I'm saying that you should exercise judgment, that you should think through things.
10:04 A lot of your success as an expat is going to come down to your decision-making and the quality of your decisions, not, 'Oh, I worked hard,' or 'I've got the money for it,' but using your judgment and deciding, 'You know what, that doesn't sound like such a good idea.' You know what? This person I don't really get along with, I'm not going to meet up and hang out with them. You know what? It seems like when I'm around that person, we kind of get into it a little bit. I'm not going to go and tell everybody I hate them. I'm not going to go and tell everybody, 'Oh, they're such a bad person.' I'm just going to step back and take some time, hang out with some other people, hang out by myself, hang out with my significant other.
10:43 But from what I can tell, our interactions aren't going in the right direction, and I'm going to go ahead and just put a stop to it now. Just thinking clearly, having a cool head will take you a long way over here. I think in some ways, even more so than back home, because back home, you know the systems in place. You understand the healthcare system, you understand the legal system. When you go abroad, you're having to learn entirely new systems, and you're not going to have this overnight familiarity like you would back home.
11:14 Back home, you spent years and years understanding how to function in that country or that society or that city. And when you come over here, you're starting from scratch in a lot of ways. So, just exercising that judgment, talking to the few friends you have that you trust, asking them if they've been here for much longer than you've been here, how does this situation pan out? How did that situation pan out? And getting a sense of what's going on will take you a long way.
11:42 Finally, in line with not caring what people think, play dumb if you have to. Who cares if people think you're dumb? It doesn't really matter. Their opinion doesn't make a difference as to your capacity to pay your bills or to be compliant to stay wherever you're at. Too many of us worry too much about what other people think. And to be fair, a lot of people cannot read between the lines. They watch a 10-minute YouTube video and think they understand everything perfectly. They think, 'I'm an expert on this or that country because I watch a YouTuber that lives there.'
12:15 There's no substitute for time. There's no substitute for boots-on-the-ground experience, for actually going to a place and experiencing things in person. Talking to people, when it comes to expat life, to living overseas, you have so many armchair quarterbacks and backseat drivers. People that know they're experts because they went there on vacation for two weeks. They know absolutely everything. This is why I stick to philosophy and I don't give direct advice on this channel, because I'm not an expert. If you watch me and you think I'm an expert, I'm not. I share my experiences, but no one person can know everything, and this is just my piece of the discussion.
12:54 Point number four is that you need to exercise judgment when it comes to keeping your finances in order. Everybody's got a different budget. We can't all afford the same things. I see too many people getting focused on other people's finances. I'm sure some of you have seen videos where someone is living extravagantly abroad, and other videos where somebody is living a very modest lifestyle. Their finances don't matter.
13:17 Okay, you can learn some things from other people's videos talking about budget. The reason I don't do tons of budget videos is that I think they get redundant after a while. So many people get worked up about other people's budgets during time that they should be spending worrying about their own budgets. If you can't afford a certain activity or behavior, so be it. Most of my friends have higher budgets than me right now. I happen to be the youngest guy in a lot of these social circles, and that's okay.
13:48 I don't envy my friends for having worked very hard to attain a high standard of living. I don't envy my friends that get to do things that I haven't gotten to do. Vice versa, my friends, from what I could tell, don't envy me for being the youngest guy in the room. We're all at different places in our lives. We have different pasts, we have different qualifications, we had different advantages and disadvantages.
14:14 And exercising the judgment to not be judgmental is part of this story. And I think some of that judgment relates to finances. There's no real reason to keep up with the Joneses over here. I know some people try to bring that attitude or mentality from the West with them. And if they can afford it, fantastic. I have friends that can afford a very comfortable lifestyle here. I have no judgment for them if it's within budget for them. They want to enjoy it. They worked hard their whole lives to enjoy their later years. Maybe they have some health issues where they don't know how long they're going to be around. More power to them.
14:50 You'll never hear me critique somebody for enjoying their life when they've worked decades to accrue the resources that they have. And they may have had a hard life. Most of us don't get through life and have this perfect life without any scrapes or bruises along the way. So for those who can't afford to live really well, I say, more power to you. Congratulations, you've earned it. You've earned dinners in a nice restaurant, you've earned a comfortable place to live, you've earned transportation and a comfortable vehicle. You've earned all these things, and you don't deserve any judgment for enjoying what you worked hard for.
15:30 Vice versa, if you're trying to live on a modest budget, own it. There's nothing wrong with living on a modest budget. In many cases, your modest budget will far exceed the budget of the average local person. I hear it all the time, 'All these broke expats,' this and that. Yeah, some of us may have modest budgets by Western standards. Things don't cost the same in other countries. Cost of living varies by country, by city, by lifestyle. And it's important to understand what you can reasonably afford.
15:57 For me, my budget is very modest by American standards, but is actually decent when you consider what the average person makes in the areas that I live in. I typically live more comfortably than the average local person. I typically rent a decent apartment. I typically eat at restaurants for every meal. Most local people around the world are not eating every meal out at a restaurant. As far as transportation, I'm not having to commute, so I don't spend as much there. But the point still stands: I know what I can spend, and I live within my means. I don't try to keep up with somebody else, and I don't judge other people either for living more comfortably or less comfortably than me.
16:43 I just stay in my lane, and I think that having the judgment to know what you can and can't afford is so important to not exceed it and not to totally deprive yourself if you don't have to. Believe it or not, even though I live on a modest budget, I have friends living on like half of what I live on.
17:00 Finally, be honest with yourself when you can't afford a certain activity or behavior. There's a perception that, 'Oh, it's so cheap over there. You can spend $400 a night on a hotel here in the Philippines.' There's a really high upper limit as to what you can spend. And so, as an expat, you're probably not going to be the wealthiest person in the area anywhere you go. You'll probably be somewhere in the range of middle class, where you're not the hardest up and you're not the most well-to-do, but somewhere in the middle.
17:29 The fifth and final point is there are no safety nets or guard rails overseas to the extent that you're used to in the US. And everything is very organized and set up to minimize risk. Many parts of the world are not like that. You're not going to get the training wheels experience that you're used to back home, where things gradually increased in difficulty as you got older. You're thrown into the deep end, especially depending on where you go.
18:01 Some places are easier to adjust to than others. I think that if they speak English, like you probably speak English, if there are Western food options where you land, there's degrees of difficulty. But to some extent, you may feel like, 'Wow, I went from knowing how things work to not knowing how things work.' Now, fortunately, with YouTube, I think you could learn a lot online before you land. But there's still going to be things that YouTubers don't say or don't put out there because they may not that that thing's a big deal to them where it might be for you. Like the guy who is coming over here to do a discovery trip doesn't necessarily have the same requirements or expectations or needs to know the same information as the guy coming here to retire here permanently.
18:46 Due to the lack of guard rails, I think that you need to exercise a greater degree of good judgment. It's not like back home where I inherently know most of how everything works. I have to really err on the side of caution here. People ask me all the time, 'Why are you so risk-averse? You can't eliminate all the risk.' I'd rather overestimate risk here than underestimate risk. That's just me. You may feel differently, that's fine. If you feel differently, if you make a mistake, that's on you. That ain't on me. You're responsible for your own life wherever you live in the world, and it's important to keep that in mind. I am not entitled to be here. My presence here is based on the goodwill of the people, and I do everything I can to stay in good standing. Understanding, I try to think things.
19:30 I try to think things through, try to figure out the limits of myself. I want to respect the people here, I want to respect the way they do things here, and understand that it's on you to perceive and set your own limits. Back home, like I said, you inherently know what you can and can't do. Here, you don't necessarily know those things.
19:50 It's harder to get this sense of redemption when you're abroad. In the US, there is a culture of redemption. You go bankrupt, you can recover financially. I think Dave Ramsey, the famous financial guru, declared bankruptcy at one point. You could probably think of some other people that have declared bankruptcy in your life that have gone on to recover financially.
20:11 In the US, we have this culture of redemption where people can come back from a lot of different things. You see it in the sports world, you see it in the corporate world; there are many different examples of that. But when you're abroad, not all countries, not all cultures have this element of redemption where you can undo things.
20:27 I mean, there are people that they'll make a mistake as an expat, and they'll never live it down. Depending on the severity of that mistake, depending on the situation, some people will hold it against them forever and they'll never get over it. It's unfortunate, but a lot of people in expat destinations have a lot of time on their hands, more time than they're typically used to having.
20:48 So, I think being proactive is super helpful, trying to avoid things coming up that could follow you around for the rest of your journey. I know of some people that have run into issues such that they had to actually leave. They planned to live in a certain city or a certain area, and they had something happen, whatever it may be, and now, okay, it looks like it's not going to work out for me here. I'm going to have to go somewhere else. That's just the way it is.
21:11 So anyway, let me know what you think. These have been five reasons as to why you should exercise judgment. I'm not saying be judgmental, but to exercise good judgment as an expat. Feel free to share some examples of your good judgment decisions that you made that later paid off.
21:27 Additionally, give us a thumbs up; it helps with the YouTube algorithm. And finally, subscribe to the channel down below if you want to see more content like this, and we'll see you soon.
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