Hey YouTube, Alex here.
And in today's video, I want to talk about this topic that a friend of mine recently approached me about called expat burnout.
And some of this is related to my first video back I did where I looked pretty burnt out.
I looked pretty tired.
A lot of people were commenting like, "Man, you look rough." And to some extent, I had some feelings of burnout or you might say symptoms of burnout.
And I thought I'd discuss that because it's a topic that I think a lot of people just don't really talk about.
It's kind of taboo like, "Oh, you became an expat.
You made it in life.
Why would you have any problems?" So, without further ado, let's go ahead and get into it.
The first symptom here I have is cultural differences or the first reason you might experience burnout is cultural differences.
So, what do I mean by that?
Well, I'm part of kind of a third culture, right?
I grew up Asian-American.
I don't really fully identify with Asian cultures.
I don't really fully identify with American cultures.
I feel kind of a third culture person.
And something that I noticed when I lived in Asia for a couple years, I went in thinking, oh yeah, like we have the shared Asian cultural background.
Everything will line up.
And then I realized, oh wait, things don't line up perfectly.
So what do I mean by cultural differences?
Well, a big one is I have opinions.
I have strong opinions about different things and this kind of thing is not as encouraged as much uh in Asia for various reasons.
So uh a few times I would share my opinion just as I would in the United States.
We have freedom of speech here.
People have strong opinions about a lot of different things and they're often encouraged to share them whether it be at work or in their personal lives.
And you can, you know, do that here.
Like it's just not really an issue.
Where over there there was several times where I offended somebody unintentionally.
Even trying to share it in a nice way.
So what do I mean by that?
Well, at one point I'm staying with a host family in Southeast Asia and I casually mentioned, "Hey, uh, I can't go out.
I ate something or drank some water that has made me ill." and they immediately responded, "Oh, it wasn't our water, was it?" Uh, or or, "Oh, it wasn't our water." Like, just, you know, period.
So, their thinking is, uh, he's insinuating that we made him sick.
And I'm thinking, no, I just want to share why I can't go out.
Like, it's I I suspect that it was either bad water or bad food.
And this was before I even entered that city.
I I suspect the origin of that.
So, I wasn't even blaming them, but uh them being kind of sensitive and I guess I was supposed to just keep it to myself, like just a simple no, I don't want to go out and not explain.
But I actually did want to go out with them.
I just didn't want to go out when I was feeling ill.
So, there were other instances too, like in in one instance, I'm having a conversation with a guy and he's telling me about being a pilot and I was like, "Wow, that's really impressive." You know, it's not often I get to meet a pilot.
Oh, you think our people can't learn how to fly?
What?
What are you talking about, dude?
And so you have these instances where I think at least coming from a western cultural background where you want to share your opinion and in their culture that's just not welcome.
You really just don't share your opinion on a lot of things and in some cases when it comes to politics, you're not allowed to share your opinion.
So, uh, this is very different where you feel kind of I got this sense of burnout where it's like, uh, I can't really, uh, talk to people in the way that I'm expecting to or I'm accustomed to.
And, um, it's just very different from here where I don't really filter what I'm saying.
I've had this experience over there where I'm like, I better filter what I'm talking about or what I'm thinking about.
Uh because whatever's on my mind may not be welcome.
Whatever opinion I have or whatever uh thought process I have, it just may not be very welcome and it may actually bother some people.
And so you get into this kind of rhythm where you I don't know, you feel like your frustrations are bottled up because like you can't commiserate.
I I'm not a a big complainer.
I'm not a big like negative person, but sometimes you have a frustrating day or you have a frustrating experience.
You want to let it out and you just don't have that.
And so that's where you get the stereotype of expats getting together in a bar and just complaining together.
And on one hand, that can be tedious if it's all the time.
But on the other hand, I'm starting to get it.
It's like you're there for whatever reason.
You're there long term.
Maybe you're settled down in a relationship.
You're committed to the place.
Uh but on the other hand, you have this like correcting mechanism that we have in Western society, like criticizing different things to try to lead toward improvement.
And in some cultures, that's just not welcome.
So I think that's the first thing that could lead to burnout.
I would say as well just like you hear something you hear somebody say something that just doesn't make any sense and um it's what's the word like you're used to pushing back on that in the west like hey that doesn't make any sense wherever there you might offend somebody like one that I've heard and this is true in different Asian countries hey don't go out in the rain you're going to get sick well we know that's not the case okay we know that if you go in a swimming pool, you're not going to get sick from just going swimming, right?
But in some uh cultures, then that's a common belief.
And so rather than saying, "Hey, that's absurd.
I have to politely tell them no, no, I'll be okay.
I'll be okay.
I think it'll be fine." And and you're like was having a flatout argument like, "Look, I'm not going to get sick just for going out in the rain." Where here in the West, they if I tell somebody, hey, I'm going to go out, it's raining.
Oh, hey, just like take an umbrella or hey, do you need to borrow my umbrella?
Not the end of the world.
Where over there, there was several times where it was like it could have turned into an issue.
Uh, and that just gets tedious, right?
It I mean to me it did anyway.
Uh number two is going to be noise pollution and pollution in general.
But noise pollution is a big one where uh throughout Southeast Asia then there's you have like a lot of modified um modified motorbikes right where people have taken mufflers off of motorbikes.
People have uh remove this.
There's also in some um places people don't have the same uh expectation of peace and quiet.
They're in high high population density communities.
They're used to living in noisy environments and what is very noisy to us is totally normal to them.
And I don't blame people for that.
I think we all have different tolerance for noise pollution and pollution in general.
U but for me, I'm just not accustomed to it.
I'm used to at the end of the day things kind of being chill, peaceful, quiet, winding down.
Hey, I've got to get up early tomorrow.
I better go ahead and just turn down the music.
Um uh you know, maybe if you're in a college town, it's a little bit different, but for me, like I I like my peace and quiet, and it's what I'm used to, and it's what helps me to unwind from work or to recharge prior to work the next day.
Um, but for uh numerous places I've been in Southeast Asia, there's not an expectation of peace and quiet.
It's just expected.
We live in close proximity to one another and it's going to be noisy.
Deal with it, dude.
Um, so for me, I'm not one of those like, "Hey, turn it down.
Hey, turn it down.
Hey, turn it down." Um, rather it's like, "Okay, well, this is this is a challenge for me.
This is going to lead to burnout for me because I feel worn down." Another instance, one of the places I lived in Southeast Asia, uh across the street, a neighbor had a dog uh chained up and the dog is barking all the time.
It's basically their security system.
It's what they can afford.
And it was frustrating for me.
For me, I'm not used to seeing uh dogs chained up like that, like basically permanently chained up.
That wouldn't be acceptable here in the West.
Uh, animal life tends to have a higher value here as far as just like um kind treatment or humane treatment.
And if you're coming at it from that perspective of like, oh, this is my ethical standard, well, they don't see it the same way.
Uh, and that's not everybody.
It's not everybody, but uh this is a common thread in Southeast Asia that you just don't see that same um same level of treatment, right?
Uh in some like Western families, the dog is like equivalent to like a child where you I just, you know, that's not the same throughout Southeast Asia.
Some families feel that way, some don't.
And so, um this dog is barking like all the time.
probably doesn't have sufficient food or water.
So, you're you're having to listen to this if you're in proximity.
And some would say, well, just go to a more expensive area.
Well, expensive areas can have noise issues, too.
And and even if you uh do stay in your like condo or your nice home a lot, you want to go out, right?
Like you're not moving to Southeast Asia to just sit in the house all day.
You want to go out.
You want to go out to restaurants.
You want to go out to malls.
You want to go out and meet up with people and you're going to encounter uh noise pollution in public in general.
Even if your own immediate area is very quiet, it's just going to be a thing.
Like you can't sit there and every time somebody drives by on a modified motorbike, hey, cut that out.
Hey, fix your bike.
And this is one of those things that leads to burnout for me because for me, like I can go run around my neighborhood here.
It's very peaceful and quiet.
Maybe occasionally you'll hear kids playing or uh somebody having a backyard get together if it's the weekend, but it's not this constant like uh noise like that you're just getting like hit with all the time.
And also in parts of Southeast Asia, there's plastic pollution, people throwing bottles on the ground, people throwing uh fast food containers on the ground, where that's fairly uncommon here in the US.
Um, unless you're in like a big city, you're in specific cities that may struggle with enforcement.
Um, maybe you're in an area that's kind of like rough or whatever.
It's pretty clean here.
It's not maybe not as clean as Japan.
Uh, but overall it's pretty clean.
People there I mean even if people don't want to be clean, like there's a like more fining involved.
Uh, and that's just uh that's something else that can wear you out is you're walking along and you're you're stepping around garbage or you're stepping around trash.
Um, and that to me causes uh can can lead to burnout because it's like, okay, well, I've got to watch out because I don't want to step on something that's potentially dangerous.
um or you know like some rotten food or some waste product that could lead to ill effects on my health.
I know uh some people have a devil may care attitude.
I'm not one of those people.
I try to do what I can to be healthy.
I'm not always good at it, but environmental pollutants, you know, that just contributes to my sense of burnout.
Number three is bureaucracy.
See, this will be a little bit quicker, but um here in the US, I don't have to really interact with the bureaucracy quite to the same extent that I do in other countries.
And this goes for really any country that you live in outside of your home country where you're citizen.
Uh you're having to do regular contact with immigration.
Sometimes it's a a reporting periodically.
Sometimes it's a go and fill out a form and pay a fee.
And often this takes like an entire day.
So, uh, for me, one of the things that led to burnout was like every few months, I have to go spend an entire day or even sometimes multiple days, big chunks of multiple days going and uh, collaborating with immigration to stay in compliance.
And I get why they do it.
I'm not here to criticize.
Uh, they do things the way they want to do things because they have reasoning behind it.
And it's not for me as a foreigner to complain or to uh try to work around it or but I still have to stay in compliance, right?
So like I follow the compliance rules, but at the same time it's like man, you know, back in the US these this time that I'm spending dealing with this, I would be able to put toward working on something.
I'd be able to work on my channel.
I might be able to work extra hours at my job.
I might be able to go hang out with friends.
I have many things I'd like to do in my life.
And when I'm sitting there like waiting in a 3 or 4 hour line and paying a fee and explaining myself like why I'm here or why I want to be here.
Uh you feel like ah you know I'm kind of put on the spot like what you know have I done something wrong?
No I haven't done something wrong but some other people who are from my country probably done something wrong in this country and so they've got to they've got to be mindful of us.
And so you do feel kind of um lumped in with bad actors where here in the US I'm a citizen.
As long as I follow the laws, I really don't have anything to be worried about.
And that's reassuring.
I don't have to go down every two or three months here to US immigration and fill out forms or ask for permission.
Uh there's there's none of that.
Number four is boredom.
And a lot of people would be surprised at this cuz they see these YouTube channels of people on vacation.
They see uh people living their best life in Southeast Asia or Latin America and they're like, "Wow, everyday is an adventure for you." And for some it is, right?
Some of that comes down to budget.
If you're on a modest budget like I was, that's going to affect it.
But also just energy.
Like one of the pe comedians that is popular is uh Bert Chryser and whether you like him or not he did a travel channel show and he was on a podcast and I think it was Joe Rogan's podcast where uh Joe talked about like hey man isn't it wasn't it really cool to travel?
He's like traveling does nothing for me anymore?
Uh I've traveled so much I don't enjoy it.
It's like a job basically.
It's not exciting.
I don't get much out of it.
And when you live overseas, there's a lot of novelty at first.
Wow.
Like everything's different.
The cars look different.
The people look different.
The shopping is different.
The products are different.
The food is different.
The sights and sounds are different.
And then after a while, it becomes normal.
Some of that magic wears off.
It's no longer super exciting.
It's no longer super unique.
The positives just become day-to-day routine for you.
The first day I went to a certain mall.
Oh man, this mall is incredible.
The next day is like, "God, did they move stuff around?" Like, "What happened to this restaurant?
What you like?" you kind of it becomes norm and you adjust to it and you feel kind of burned out because back a big one for me is just having conversations about uh in-depth conversations.
So if you're in a country where people speak English as a second language, yeah, you can order in a restaurant, you can talk with hotel staff, it's going to be very basic and if they're working, they don't have time to just hang out anyway.
If you're dealing with a hotel clerk, you might be able to exchange words for a few minutes, but they're not going to, oh yeah, I'm just I'm done working for day.
I'm just going to hang out with this foreigner.
It's more like, "Okay, thank you, sir.
Okay, I'm going to handle the next guest if you don't mind." If you're in a restaurant, same deal.
The waiter or waitress, you might really want to talk to them.
And even if they have the capability, they've really diligently worked on their English.
They worked with a lot of Western tourists.
They're there to serve a business function, right?
They're there to serve different customers.
There's an expectation on the part of their boss that they're going to handle all the customers in a timely fashion.
So if you know if you're not and and then let's say you hang out expat communities, well sometimes that gets redundant, right?
Once you get to know somebody, you've had enough conversations with them, how much more new stuff can they really add?
I'm not saying I don't like expats.
I have quite a few expat friends, but it's a little bit different when the pace of life is slower.
Here in the States, I talk to a friend once a month.
They're going to have in a lot of interesting stuff that happened at work.
Uh maybe I get an update on their family.
We have a lot of these uh shared experiences.
This is something I'll talk about in the final point where you're kind of building on things shared difficult experiences where we've been through these hard times together where part of the point of being an expat is you don't have you temp typically you don't want to have as many hard times.
I know some expats run into issues but for a lot of the guys I met it's like why did you move to Southeast Asia?
Well, I was really stressed out in the west.
I went through a divorce.
I uh lost my significant other.
I lost my career.
my career fizzled out, whatever it may be, and I'm here because I don't want to have a difficult experiences.
Well, some of those difficult experiences are actually really interesting in retrospect.
So, if you cut those out, then I think life is not quite as exciting and and those also help you bond to other people.
So if you don't have those shared difficult experiences, I think it can be harder to bond with local people in Southeast Asia because they have their own difficult experiences that are very different from yours and they might not necessarily if English is their second language have the words to connect with you in the way that you'd like.
So boredom is a big one.
I feel that that's what causes a lot of expats to be terminally online is they get bored and they go and try to seek out like-minded people online because they're struggling to meet those people uh in their day-to-day environment.
And so this also leads to some of the bad behavior I think is expats like getting bored, having pent up frustration, not being able to do what they want to do, and lashing out.
If these four have resonated with you, I've got one more for you.
But comment down below.
Are there any factors that I haven't mentioned here that lead to exp burnout?
uh it's always helpful to have interesting dialogue or discussion.
And so for the fi fifth point is isolation and I noticed quite a few expats seem very lonely in my time in Southeast Asia especially if they couldn't speak the local language then they end up feeling disconnected where here in the US even in rural areas I know I can just go and talk to anybody I can communicate effectively if I go to Walmart go get a haircut um whatever service I need to do.
Even if I'm new to town, like even if I haven't had time to build up relationships or friendships, I feel some basic level of connection and I'm able to facilitate that.
But in Southeast Asia, you can't just assume whoever you're talking to has a high level of English.
And so you I remember one time I was in Thailand for just in this example and I go into a cafe and I just this is my first time in Thailand and I get a little confused.
I just start speaking in English fullon and the waitress cuts me off and she said I'm sorry I can't understand you.
And I think she this was a this is the extent of her basic English.
She could tell an expat or foreigner, "Hey, I can't understand you." And I'm like, "Oh man, like, yeah, she's a pretty waitress, but I can't communicate with her effectively.
I can't I can't let her know whatever adjustments I want to make to my order.
She can't tell me, oh, hey, this is uh this this change is not possible or this is going to cost you extra or whatever it may be.
And it's getting better.
I think for this one, English is getting better in Thailand and throughout Southeast Asia.
If you're in a tourist hot spot, it'll probably have some basic words, but it doesn't uh well, you don't have those long-term shared experiences.
Like here in the states, I have friends I've been friends with for uh 25 years.
And so we have all these shared experiences and there's not much that explanation that needs to occur like they know me, I know them, they know my situation, I know their situation.
And so you have these deep connections with people even if your family situation is so so where in Southeast Asia you're having to rebuild those.
Um Mike said it really well.
I said the friends you have in the US you built over decades where you get to Southeast Asia and you're starting from scratch and it's very similar if you're moving to a new city in the US where you may have one friend that moved out to that city uh and if they're busy that day or that weekend or that month with their work or whatever it may be, you may be on your own.
And I think isolation is one that people don't fully anticipate.
They think, I'm going to go over there and I'm going to make friends with all the locals and the expats and it's going to be this dream life.
But I think in some cases people end up isolated.
So anyway, I'm going to wrap it up there.
Let me know what you think down in the comments below.
If this video has been informative, if it's been helpful, subscribe to the channel and we'll see you soon.
Bye-bye, guys.
