hey YouTube Alex here and in today's video I want to answer the question why xat should be judgmental why they should exercise judgment and so without further Ado let's get into it so the first reason is that you
need to be selective in the country and the city that you decide to base yourself in I think one of the big mistakes a lot of guys make is they automatically assume because a certain city is popular that
it will be a good fit for them there's plenty of cities in the world that are great places to live but not for everybody some places are better than others for some people some people have certain preferences dumag
Getti is a great example of this dumag Getti is a polarizing City some people love dumag couldn't imagine living anywhere else in the Philippines other people don't really care for dumag Getti they wouldn't want to live here I
have people in my comment section telling me I could never live in daget having the judgment to know what you do and don't like is extremely important be willing to judge you know I don't like this city because
of XY or Z reason it's just not a good City for my preferences you're not saying that that city is terrible you're not saying that everybody in that city is a bad person you're saying it's not the right
Fit For Me Some people prefer the big city other people prefer the small town and there's nothing wrong with either choice there's so many great options in the world I think there's something for everybody but if you assume
that the first place that you go to is going to make you happy and that it doesn't you may decide to give up on xat life prematurely there's definitely some places that I've been where if that was the
first place I went I think I would have called it a day and I wouldn't be living overseas right now some of those same exact places other guys love they think that's it's the best place to live ever
they wouldn't live anywhere else and that these places offer fantastic quality of life good value for money and I didn't feel that way if ell at Eastman had been a little bit more judgmental he might still be alive
he might have exercised some judgment and thought hm maybe these people don't like me very much maybe I shouldn't live here maybe it's not so safe to live here instead of just assuming ah it's not that serious they're
not really that serious it's not that big a deal this idea that you should just never judge it sounds great on paper until you mess up and find out another point I'd add here is some people say oh
they're not scammers they're just you know this and that they're hard up blah blah blah no calling it just saying you know what I think they are a scammer I think they are somebody I should avoid I think
that they are somebody that's up to no good and it's trying to take me for a ride oh no don't judge don't judge they're not really a scammer no no in some cases they are a scammer and you
should judge them and you should make the determination you know what they are trying to rip me off I need to avoid them I don't need to give them my money I don't know where these people get this
idea but you really do need to exercise judgment I'm not saying judge a person's value as a person but rather think about their intentions think about what they're after think about what they're trying to sell you think about
the potential consequences versus the potential benefits for that person I don't think about oh what is their ethics or what is their morality I think what's in it for them and what are they potentially risking in regards to
country and city selection I have friends from small towns who they would not be happy in a Bangkok or a Manila they've been to these cities they've told me you know what they're too intense they're too overwhelming there's
too many people there there's too much going on there for some people dumag Getti is a tiny town for other people dumag Getti is a huge City I think you'd be surprised that the range of responses that the
same city gets in terms of feelings about it in terms of attitudes toward it the next point is that you need to be judgmental in your selection of people and I I know some people really don't like it
when I say this they feel like nobody should ever be judged and I'm not talking about judging a person's value as a person I'm not saying that what I am saying is that some people are more prone to
getting in trouble or being trouble than others some people run into legal issues right I don't want to be associated with people running into legal issues that would be otherwise avoidable uh some people are prone to to getting
into conflicts with other people you know some people like to stir up drama trying to spot some of those signs early and keeping those people at arms length it's not saying they're bad people there's plenty of people that
I don't hang out with that I don't think are bad people like I'm not sitting here saying oh they're so bad this and that rather that I don't like their actions I don't like what they did and I'm
going to keep my distance from them because of those actions I'm not going to go around telling people people they're a bad person I'm not going to go around saying oh they're such awful people rather I want my
journey to be a long one one of the things I've had to learn is that we're not all in this together contrary to what some expats might tell you everybody's got their own budget everybody's got their own place
to live everybody's got their own dietary preferences this is not a team effort it's an individual effort for me I prefer to hang out with people with shared values people with whom I see eye to eye we generally
agree on what is right and what is wrong you may have a different definition of what is right and wrong for myself and that's okay each person has to make a decision as to what they think is right
and what they think is wrong there's a difference between being judgmental and exercising judgment I pointed out to a friend that I generally don't discuss American politics here he explained that it's only a problem when you disagree with
someone I realized that he made a great point there it's a great way to determine if you're likely to be friends with someone or not in the longterm not just short-term Hangouts but somebody you could really count on
a lot of people assume everybody in dag Getti is friends with each other and that's not the case people have different values they live in different areas they have a different sense of what's right and what's wrong you
know I wish it could be that way I wish we could just all be friends and that we could all live in Perfect Harmony but that's not reality the next reason that it's important to exercise judgment is that
some people just have serious issues going on and that's anywhere you go in the world and if you're freshly arrived to town or maybe you haven't known about this person or people for a long time you may be
totally unaware of these issues unfortunately we do not live in a perfect world we do not live in a just world or a fair world and some people have issues going on and acting like you're the expert when
you're not from that country you don't understand the social dynamics at play you have so many people from the West that have this know-it-all mental and I don't know why they bring it with them to Asia but many
of them do I'm not saying to discard your friends here what I'm saying is you cannot fix all of everyone's problems it's a problem here you're going to run into people that will try to convince you they know
everything meanwhile I'm a fan of exercising judgment and recognizing when someone is unstable when somebody is not thinking clearly knowing when to back away oh you're abandoning your friends no one I don't have that many friends and neither
do you a lot of people mix up acquaintances and drinking buddies with friends I often find it's the people that have never lived over here or never visited for an extended period of time that think oh all expats
are friends everybody's friends no you don't know what's going on in somebody's head you don't know what they're thinking you don't know what's happened in their past you don't know if they have a criminal record and saying I
don't judge I don't judge those are some of the same people that get wrapped up in other people's problems knowing when to back back away when to walk away from a person who is trying to escalate is part
of exercising judgment it's knowing you know what this guy or gal they're getting heated they're getting upset they are not thinking clearly I'm going to walk away I'm going to get on my motorbike and drive somewhere else I'm
going to call up a trike or a taxi cab I'm going to get away from here there's this idea that some expats have they need to be a tough guy or they need to be a hero maybe a
portion of the time it works out but I've noticed a number of cases in different parts of the world where guys thought oh I'm the hero I'm Billy ba I'm going to be able to just fix everything and
tough it out and look at how cool everybody thinks I am and then they end up with real consequences and all of a sudden it's not so cool it's not so fun all these people that were encouraging them
or egging them on have now turned on them they're in a position where they're facing real consequences and they're having to come up with money that they otherwise wouldn't have had to spend maybe they're having to go to
the hospital to get treated for injuries there's all kinds of potential consequences that can happen here that are similar to the consequences you could experience back home plus the added aspect that you're not from here you don't know
how it's going to play out cuz there's so many more unknown factors I don't care what people think I don't care if they like me I don't care if they dislike me if it comes down to it and
I suspect somebody is not thinking clearly I'm going to use my judgment just get out of the situation oo I'm not a tough guy who cares who cares I don't care okay I don't care if people uh want
to think this or that of me when you're an expat when you're living abroad self-preservation should be top of mind for you and if it's not you may find out the hard way people say oh don't be judgmental
I'm not saying be judgmental or not be judgmental I'm saying that you should exercise judgment that you should think through things and a lot of your success as an expat is going to come down to your decision making
and the quality of your decisions not oh I worked hard or not I've got the money for it but using your judgment and deciding you know what that doesn't sound like such a good idea you know what this
person I don't really get along with I'm not going to meet up and hang out with them you know what it seems like when I'm around that person we kind of get into it a little bit I'm not
going to go and tell everybody I hate them I'm not going to go and tell everybody oh they're such a bad person I'm just going to step back and take some time hang out with some other people hang
out by myself hang out with my significant other but from what I can tell our interactions aren't going in the right direction and I'm going to go ahead and just put a stop to it now just thinking clearly
having a cool head will take you a long way over here I think in some ways even more so than back back home cuz back home you know the systems in place you understand the Health Care System you
understand the legal system when you go abroad you're having to learn entirely new systems and you're not going to have this overnight familiarity like you would back home back home you spent years and years understanding how to function
in that country or that Society or that City and when you come over here you're starting from scratch in a lot of ways so just exercising that judgment talking to the few friends you have that you trust asking
them if they've been here for much longer than you've been here how does this situation pan out how did that situation pan out and getting a sense of what's going on will take you a long way finally in
line with not caring what people think play dumb if you have to who cares if people think you're dumb it doesn't really matter their opinion doesn't make a difference as to your capacity to pay your bills or to
be compliant to stay wherever you're at too many of us worry too much about what other people think and to be fair a lot of people cannot read between the lines they watch a 10-minute YouTube video and think
they understand everything perfectly they think I'm an expert on this or that country because I watch a YouTuber that lives there there's no substitute for time there's no substitute for boots on the ground experience for actually going to
a place and experiencing things in person talking to people when it comes to expat life to living overseas you have so many armch quarterbacks and backseat drivers people that know their experts because they went there on vacation for
2 weeks they know absolutely everything this is why I stick to philosophy and I don't give direct advice on this channel because I'm not an expert if you watch me and you think I'm an expert I'm not an
expert I share my experiences but no one person can know everything and this is just my piece of the discussion Point number four is that you need to exercise judgment when it comes to keeping your finances in order
everybody's got a different budget we can't all afford the same things I see too many people getting focused on other people's finances I'm sure some of you have seen videos where someone is living extravagantly abroad and other videos
where somebody is living a very modest lifestyle their finances don't matter okay you can learn some things from other people's videos talking about budget the reason I don't do tons of budget videos is that I think they get
redundant after a while so many people get worked up about other people's budgets during time that they should be spending worrying about their own budgets if you can't afford a certain activity or behavior so be it most of
my friends have higher budgets than me right now I happen to be the youngest guy in a lot of these Social Circles and that's okay I don't envy my friends for having worked very hard to attain a high
standard of living I don't envy my friends that get to do things that I haven't gotten to do uh vice versa my friends from what I could tell don't envy me for being the youngest guy in the room
we're all at different places in our lives we' have different pasts we have different qualifications we had different advantages and disadvantages and exercising the judgment to not be judgmental is part of this story and I think some of
that judgment relates to finances there's no real reason to keep up with the Joneses over here I know some people try to bring that attitude or mentality from the West with them and if they can afford fantastic I
have friends that can afford a very comfortable lifestyle here I have no judgment for them if it's within budget for them they want to enjoy it they worked hard their whole lives to enjoy their later years maybe they
have some health issues where they don't know how long they're going to be around more power to them you'll never hear me critique somebody for enjoying their life when they've worked decades to ACR the resour resources that they
have and they may have had a hard life most of us don't get through life and have this perfect life without any scrapes or bruises along the way so for those who can't afford to live really well I
say more power to you congratulations you've earned it you've earned dinners in a nice restaurant you've earned a comfortable place to live you've earned transportation and a comfortable vehicle you've earned all these things and you don't deserve any
judgment for enjoying what you worked hard for vice versa if you're trying to live on a modest budget own it there's nothing wrong with living on a modest budget in many cases your modest budget will far exceed the
budget of the average local person I hear it all the time all these broke expats this and that yeah some of us may have modest budgets by Western standards things don't cost the same in other countries cost of
living varies by country by city by lifestyle and it's important to understand what you can reasonably afford and for me my budget is very modest by American Standards but is actually decent when you consider what the average person
makes in the areas that I live in I typically live more comfortably than the average local person I typically rent a decent apartment I typically eat at restaurants for every meal most local people around the world are not
eating every meal out at a restaurant as far as Transportation I'm not having to commute so I don't spend as much there but the point still stands I know what I can spend and I live within my means
I don't try to keep up with somebody else and I don't judge other people either for living more comfortably or less comfortably than me uh I just stay in my lane and I think that having the judgment to
know what you can and can't afford is so important to not exceed it and not to totally deprive yourself if you don't have to believe it or not even though I live on a modest budget I have friends
living on like half of what I live on finally be honest with yourself when you can't afford a certain activity or behavior there's a perception that oh it's so cheap over there you can spend $400 a night on
a hotel here in the Philippines there's a really high upper limit as to what you can spend and so as an expat you're probably not going to be the wealthiest person in the area anywhere you go you'll probably
be somewhere in the range of middle class where you're not the hardest up and you're not the most well too but somewhere in the middle the fifth and final point is there are no safety nets or guard rails
overseas to the extent that you're used to in the US and everything is very organized and set up to minimize risk and many parts of the world are not like that you're not going to get the training wheels
experience that you're used to back home where things gradually increased in difficulty as you got older you're thrown into the deep end especially depending on where you go some places are easier to adjust to than others I think
that if they speak English like you probably speak English if there are Western food options where you land there's degrees of difficulty but to some extent you may feel like wow I went from knowing how things work to
not knowing how things work now fortunately with YouTube I think you could learn a lot online before you land but there's still going to be things that YouTubers don't say or don't put out there because they may not
that that thing's a big deal to them where it might be for you like the guy who is coming over here to do a discovery trip doesn't necessarily have the same requirements or expectations or needs to know the
same information is the guy coming here to retire here permanently due to the lack of guard rails I think that you need to exercise a greater degree of good judgment it's not like back home where I inherently know
most of how everything works I have to really air on the side of caution here people ask me all the time why are you so risk averse you can't eliminate all the risk I'd rather overestimate risk here than
underestimate risk that's just me you may feel differently that's fine if you feel differently if you make a mistake that's on you that ain't on me you're responsible for your own life wherever you live in the world and
it's important to keep that in mind I am not entitled to be here my presence here is based on the Goodwill of the people and I do everything I can to stay in good state understanding I try to
think things through try to figure out the limits of myself and I want to respect the people here I want to respect the way they do things here understand that it's on you to perceive of and to set
your own limits back home like I said you know the rules you inherently know what you can and can't do here you don't necessarily know those things when you're abroad it's harder to get this sense of redemption like
we believe in in the US in US there is a culture of redemption you go bankrupt you can recover financially I think Dave Ramsey the famous Financial Guru I think he declared bankruptcy at one point you could probably
think of some other people that have declared bankruptcy in your life that have gone on to recover financially in the US we have this culture of Redemption where people can come back from a lot of different things you
see it in the Sports World you see it in the corporate world there's many different examples of that but when you're abroad not all countries not all cultures have this element of Redemption where you can undo things I
mean there's people that they'll make a mistake AK as an expat and they'll never live it down depending on the severity of that mistake depending on the situation some people will hold it against them forever and they'll never
get over it it's unfortunate but a lot of people in xad destinations have a lot of time on their hands more time than they're typically used to having on their hands and so I think being proactive is super
helpful trying to avoid things coming up that could follow you around for the rest of your journey I know of some people that have run into issues such that they had actually leave they planned to live in a
certain city or a certain area and they had something happen whatever it may be and now okay it looks like it's not going to work out for me here I'm going to have to go somewhere else that's just
the way it is so anyway let me know what you think these have been five reasons as to why you should exercise judgment I'm not saying be judgmental but to exercise good judgment is an expat feel free to
share some examples of your good judgment decisions that you made that later paid off additionally give us a thumbs up it helps with the YouTube algorithm and finally subscribe to the channel down below if you want to see
more content like this and we'll see you soon
