don't have anyone meet you at the airport don't let her think she's getting one of a rich American but for everyone that works out I'll tell you 20 horror stories many guys fantasize oh I'm engaged where are they
now they're all married are you chasing the dream or you chased in the fantasy but she didn't scam me I have the life I wanted in the west they're going to be very protective of you she can't afford
to miss any work but I got it here in the Philippines at a fraction of the cost a lot of people don't have this Freedom here everything is black and white thank you so much for joining us today
we want to thank our good friend Mike here who's been so kind to sit down and to continue our conversation from before we got into some interesting discussion and I've been here for a couple of months now and
it's really gotten me thinking about new questions new insights I think that you learn a lot really quickly when you hit the ground running yeah so without further Ado Mike could you introduce yourself one more time I'm Mike
and uh welcome to my house we invited Alex over today and decided we're going go ahead and do a video and uh continue from where we left off last time that sounds great Mike well I think we should
just go ahead and get into some of the questions that I have for you today and the first one that comes to my mind is no you cannot borrow money well I was actually going to ask Mike for
an additional 20 pesos to take the Jeep and uh back to town but he's already told me no so I've got to it's not that long a walk out it's not that long a walk he says maybe I'll
get there by midnight I'm hoping that Jolly Bee will take some pity on me and and serve me up a a chicken Joy meal what is the biggest mistake that guys make in relationships here with the first woman
that they meet a lot of guys they immediately when they get off the plane within 24 hours they're on their way to their first they've scheduled they're still jet lag they're not thinking clearly in some cases at least
that was true for me what's the biggest mistake they make well in that case the biggest mistake is they need to get here don't have anyone meet you at the airport get here get to a hotel take a
shower get a good rest get some sleep and I know people are excited you know in the anxiety they want they want to start doing things they got this hot babe that they want to meet but you have
to be rested for all this you have to be able to comprehend everything that's going to happen to you and take it in and you want to be in control of the situation you really don't want the girl
meeting you uh pulling on you directing where you're going what we're going to do set the agenda set the plans this is something for you to do uh because when you get here uh you're the man and remember
you're the prize and don't settle in for the first girl you meet I know a lot of guys meet their best girl online and a lot of them marry these girls that they they met online and it works
out but for everyone that works out I'll tell you 20 horr stories of the ones that didn't um just because she locked you down online doesn't mean she's perfect for you you have yet to spend time in person
together you have yet to meet the family and you have to meet her in the element that you're comfortable in not in their element I don't want to make it seem like she's the enemy you know and you're
in defense mode but you need to uh pick the place and don't overspend don't try to show off your money this is the biggest mistake all these guys do they show off too much you know hey it's the
first date I'm going to take you to a great restaurant we're going to we're going to stay at a five-star hotel we're going to get room service um if you do that they're going to expect that all the
time because you're showing them that you're rich and that's we're not all rich to come here we're all on a budget most of us you know have limits to what we can spend and you have to limit the
expectations not just of yourself and the girl you're going to meet but the expectations of that girl and the guy she's getting don't let her think she's getting one a rich American or yeah so you have to limit
all that and you need to slow down when when guys arrive here I've talked to guys who haven't left for 2 days yet they got off the plane they've met their girlfriend they're they're at at Aela Mall they're
having coffee and they haven't slept yet cuz they're so excited about coming to the Philippines and you should be that was me that was me you know and because you've been planning this for months and years and the
day finally arrives but you need to freshen up relax uh you know get a stiff drink uh get a good night's sleep and then attack the world here in the Philippines I think that's such a good point that
was certainly me when I got here I didn't sleep great the night before I was so excited about being in the Philippines and I just felt all of a sudden this wall of exhaustion hit me and I needed
to rest the first thing that you want to do when you get here is wow you know isn't this the place where I could find what I'm looking for in terms of relationship but you have to take care
of yourself I think some guys they are looking back in their experience in their home country and they're remembering I've got to sacrifice myself for my paycheck I've got to sacrifice myself for my employer but when you come
here it's really this opportunity to shift the focus to looking out for yourself looking out for your own interests so I think it's such a good idea for guys to like you said practice that self-care catch up on
rest have a good meal have something uh nice to drink go back relax the Philippines ain't going anywhere it's going to be here tomorrow it's going to be here forever you need to take care good words of advice
you need to take care of yourself first then your family if you have a family but you need to take care of you nobody's going to take care of you if you pass out from exhaustion uh it's easy
to be taken advantage of lack of sleep I know it's hard you're going to be laying in that bed just like I was looking at the ceiling saying I can't sleep I'm going to go out I'm going to
go up to the bar and see what I can meet you know what what what's going on but you need to get some rest at some point and relax that's a great point in the same vein of that
I think we assume that because we're looking for a certain thing that every guy is like us but it's not that case I'm curious what percentage of guys do you think are looking for something casual versus the guys
who are looking for a committed relationship but not not marriage and then the third group being the guys who are looking to eventually get married do you have kind of a a ratio or a percentage in mind when
it comes to I think I think many guys fantasize the Playboy life and you know when you get to be 6070 and talking my age group here um you fantasize that you know you're sitting back at home on
the couch and you're you know you haven't been with a beautiful woman in ages you know you've been dating women close to your own age and uh here you come to the Philippines and you've been talking online to
girls that are in their 20s early 30s and they're beautiful and and you're just wanting to get one of them you're looking to get uh lucky and score that first day in the back of your mind you have
to decide what kind of girl you really want in life and get here go ahead and play the field enjoy yourself sew the Wild Oats get all that out of your system and once you've done that you sort
of to realize hey I would rather have a good steady travel companion to be with somebody who's going to live with me and and be a partner in my life then you can go that route a lot of
guys and I'll take this with YouTubers there's so many guys I watch that were YouTubers that were single and dating a lot well where are they now they're all married so you know you take the Tim K's married
you take you know Paul's married Mark Thorton's married Gio's married uh I'm married it eventually happens that you find the right girl she'll show up one day trouble is don't waste so much time looking for her and missing
out good things in life she'll show up find a good place to live find something enjoyable to do find a great hobby but she'll show up in time you don't have to hunt for her the first week that
you're here I've fallen into this trap I met other guys that have fallen into this trap where you ask them what have you been doing so far in your first month or two months here in the Philippines oh
I've been dating Non-Stop and they haven't had a chance to go off and explore cior or APO island or go up to the mountains in Valencia or uh maybe you know take a snorkeling trip in D and so
I think there's so much to see here that sometimes we as guys we haven't dated in such a long time and we're so hung up on the relationship that we almost have this kind of tunnel vision and we're
thinking okay I'm going to sort out the wife first and then build the life around it it's like no you can pursue all kinds of different things here you'll find the right one I think so many of us
go from this scarcity mindset back home this is going to lead into our next question but so many guys they have this scarcity mindset from back home maybe it's been 10 years since they've been on a date maybe
it's been 15 20 years since they've been on a date and they get in their head I'm just not capable of finding the right one maybe I'm not worthy Maybe yeah when you get here to the Philippines are
you chasing the dream or you chasing the fantasy now the dream is I'm going to retire to the Philippines a beautiful country I'm going to hang out at the beach you know I'm going to have a a nice
chair down at the beach I'm going to have a coconut drink you know with a umbrella and the straw and I'm going to have the two girls you know waving Palm leaves at me to keep me cool Chasing
the Dream you know a nice place to live close to the beach affordable or are you chasing the fantasy every day you're getting on your phone you're getting on that dating app oh this girl she's in late guys
I'm going to late and then that doesn't work out you look on your phone oh she's in theal she wants to meet me guys I'm off to Deval are you chasing the dream of finding a great place to
live and enjoy retirement or are you chasing the fantasy looking for you know that perfect girl to to hang out with you sort of have to balance it what's more important to you the dream or the fantasy I
think that's so important I think some guys that get so hung up on the relationship they don't realize the Philippines is a country of 7,000 Islands each island is different from one another I think there's about a thousand
that are populated equally as you are looking for a relationship you're also looking for a place that suits you dumag Getti isn't for everyone I happen to be very happy here but I readily admit if you're a big
city guy you're going to want to look at Manila or Sabu or Deva and there's something here for many different types of people but you need to do some of that searching maybe you're a guy from a small
town in the US and you thought well I don't ever have the budget to live in an LA or a New York but wow Manila that's within my budget so even though the Assumption might be oh you're from
a small town move to a small town in the Philippines it may be that opportunity for you to live that kind of Cosmopolitan life and vice versa maybe you've lived in New York City your whole life and you
thought I'd love to move to the country but you work on Wall Street you work in some kind of uh you know financial industry and there were no opportunities for you to move to the country and so here's
your your chance I'm going to go move to the province there's really so much lifestyle flexibility here that I think is overlooked a lot because guys are one track minded I've got to find the right woman and I've
got to find her fast because if I don't find her she's going to disappear and I'll never find her again and that's a mistake there's so so many girls here and if you go too fast you're going to
find the wrong girl cuz the good the real good girls they're below the top level layer they're below the top layer of women as you're walking down the boulevard the first women you meet that smile at you that
make that eye contact with you they've been around the block a little bit but the ones that are quiet and you know mind their own business and they're shy those are the ones you want to find eventually uh
and you have to they got to get to know you getting to know you is you're going to the coffee shop or going to same place for breakfast you live in a community you're part of the community and
the Neighbors start to notice you oh he's a nice guy and start introducing you to you know their nieces and their sisters and cousins that are available it's hard for you just to walk up and find the perfect
girl on the street somebody has to introduce you and that's that networking we've talked about that before networking and we we embarrass waitresses sometimes times you know we were out to dinner one day and the waitress me and
Janet were together we're a couple but Alex is a single guy good-looking single guy and I asked the waitress I go hey he's single and she goes oh I'm engaged so she's a little bit giggly and embarrassed but
a moment later I asked her I said well do you have a friend she goes oh yeah and she started looking and showed Alex the picture of a friend you need to uh just relax engage Network and people
will introduce you to good good girls in time you don't need to be hunting them down and if you're looking in the bar every night for the good girl uh you're finding a good girl for that night but
you're not finding the good girl for for your lifetime I think that's such a great point that you have so many opportunities to be introduced to a lot of different lovely women I mean I think that some guys
get in their head like I've got to track her down I've got to find her and they don't understand the culture here because they're fresh off the plane as I like to put it because maybe they've never been
to the Philippines before maybe they've never even met a Filipino person depending on where they're from and they don't understand the dynamic where they're happy to introduce you to a lovely woman in their life if you meet a
woman you think she's gorgeous maybe she's taken maybe she's got a ring on her finger but she may have a sister or a cousin or a coworker or you know a classmate you know there's all kinds of different
situations where you might meet somebody so speaking of that a lot of guys were used to back home I think being kind of lonely we've been single for a while we're in this scarcity mindset we think I'll never
meet the right one coming over here we're confronted by tons of options I mean it's it's shocking it's like something you've never experienced before if you haven't been here it's really going to take you by surpris when you
do make it over here what do you tell the guy who is overwhelmed by choice and he doesn't know how to handle the Temptation he's never been in a situation where he's the prize it's like being a kid
in a candy store you know you go into that candy store would would a you know your son when you were younger or a nephew or something you say yeah you can have one piece of candy in the
candy store and he runs right up to the first glass and and he looks and say I want this one but out of the corner of his eye he sees a different piece of candy he goes oh I
want this one he's just overwhelmed with the choice no no I don't want that one I want this one he just doesn't know what to choose that's what you have here in the Philippines you'll meet one girl and
she will seem perfect to you she'll be beautiful she'll be smart she'll be caring of you and she'll take care of all your needs and you're saying this is the perfect girl for you but then after a month
or two out the corner of your eyes you see a friend with a girl and you go man I wish I had a girl like that maybe a little bit more shapely maybe better in English maybe a little
bit more uh serent maybe she has a job something different the flavor of the day for you might change and The Temptations are out here constantly men have temptations I've seen guys who are with a woman for 20
years they're in the US they come here with their Filipino wife and they're they're enjoying life and all of a sudden man that girl was she sort of likes me well of course she likes you you know you're
a foreigner and you got money does she like you enough that she's going to marry I don't know but she'll like you enough for you to cheat on your wife and these Temptations can break up a marriage it
can break up a relationship you see a lot of women who end up who are here with their husbands that are American Filipinos go back to the US because their husband cheats on them and His Eye is wandering
and the same thing with a Filipina here she'll go back to her family cuz her boyfriend has a Wandering eye and they break up and it's usually a bad break up um these women will stalk you if you
cheat on them or they think that you're cheating on these girls they're going to stalk you on your Facebook if you don't think so I'll tell you a story about Janet this is first time I've told this story
to anybody there was a girl I made a video about that I said scam me but she didn't scam me it was me being a willing participant to all this but when I got here to the Philippines and
I made this video she contacted me and said Mike how could you tell tell everybody our story I go well I didn't use your name I didn't use your date it State nobody knows it's you but you I'm
talking to her and I said next time I drive up to Sabu I'll stop by and explain to you what happened I haven't I've never met this girl in person but I was going to stop and explain to
her why I made the video and uh Janet found out that I was talking to this person online so one day Janet and I are sitting down talking and she hands me the cell phone she doesn't hand me
said she puts it in my face says do you know this person and it's that girl and Janet contacted her and did a video chat with her to let her know that Janet is married to Mike and they
will stalk and they will protect what is theirs and if you make that girl feel that she is yours you're in a committed relationship with you she'll she's going to protect uh her her boyfriend her husband from leaving
her she's going to protect her property and uh it's just like we protect our women you know if you go into a bar with your woman you're just having a night out and you having a drink and some
guy hits on her you're going to be angry about this and you're going to be protective about her same thing with the girls here they're going to be very protective of you and they're going to search they're going
to stock and if you think oh no nobody's going to look at my phone nobody's going to look at who I've been talking to by you not sharing that with them automatically they're going to think you're cheating on
them because you don't want to share what's going on in your life but you want them to commit to you sexually physically emotionally but you don't want to share to them what's in your phone they're not going to
take it too easy I think that's a great point I think that there's so much for us foreigners to learn about the dynamic here I think we're maybe used to once again back home that's the only experience we
have and we come over here thinking that the dynamic will be the same where people aren't so concerned about that but the Philippines in one way is sometimes called the social media capital of the world that there's such
a high usage of social media here that everybody's on social media that they're using it for extended periods of time and some of that is exactly what you said they're curious is my boyfriend chatting somebody else is my
partner chatting somebody else and they know that you're the commodity they know that here you are a very desirable person a guy that's got his finances together a guy that he's had a successful career a guy that he's
got his what he's got the disposable income to buy a plane ticket halfway around the world that's not something that everybody can afford to do that's why they think you're rich people say why I'm not rich why you
think I have money well you just flew halfway around the world to live here you're on vacation and we can't go from here to behold because it costs too much money and you come all the way from America
it's it's perceived in income you have you have the money and you have the ability women here once you ask them to be emotionally attached to you and committed to you you're asking a lot out of them think
it through very much before you move in with the girl before you tell that girl quit your job and live with me don't live with your folks come stay with me all the time it's one thing for weekend
it's one thing to go on a small trip it's one thing to ask them take a couple days off but if you ask them to totally commit their job uh to leave their job and to come and live
with you you're asking them to make the big commitment and they're going to hold you to it that you are committed to them also and it's only fair it's only fair that makes a lot of sense that it's
a two-way street I think sometimes some guys they get the kid in the candy shop Vibe or mentality let's say and they think oh I'm so amazing and I can just do whatever I want and they don't take
a step back and remember these are people right these are people with feelings and hopes and dreams and a past and uh difficulties in their lives I say this all the time they struggle in a lot of different
places in the world it's not just limited to your experience struggling to date back home um cuz sometimes we get in our minds I think as expats there's some reason that matol didn't line up for us in whatever
way and we get in our head that we're the only person that's facing struggle and so we don't necessarily consider the perspectives of the other people that we're asking to be a sort of you could say healing presence
in our life that gives us validation that provides us with emotional support that cooks dinner for us I remember the first time a Filipina cooked dinner for me and it was like wow this is the last time I
had a woman cooked dinner for me was when I was a kid yeah yeah my mom or my my grandma and so so different from what we're used to back home that we it's different it's a different world
economically and relationship Wise It's a look back into the past of the western you know in the US more to the 70s 60s 50s of the stay-at-home woman where she stays home takes care of everything and looks nice
you know they wear they wear a dress Janet Janet wears a dress when she gets up in the morning cleans up does what she does you know it's it's something that doesn't happen you have and I know people
get mad at me but you have the quote Walmart women back home they're wearing the dirty t-shirt and the sweatpants why they clean the house before they go to work cuz nobody can afford to have the wife stay
at home and the man's working only those days are long gone there but here in the Philippines it can be done as a foreigner here because we like you said we have Expendable income we have a stable or
at least retired men have a stable income absolutely and what's a modest amount of money back home actually can go pretty reasonably far here you're able to live in a safe home in a nice neighborhood you're able to
uh purchase whatever groceries you want it's not like back home you go out to a restaurant and one of my friends mentioned this to me he said when I go to a restaurant back home I'm looking at the
menu I'm comparing the prices is can I afford a drink alongside this here sometimes we just don't even look at the price depending on the circumstance depending on the context we have a general sense of what things are
going to cost but it's not like Penny by Penny okay I can afford this I can't afford this yeah the lifestyle is is a lot different so pivoting uh back to your lovely wife Janet what was the moment
like when you realized Janet's the one the Search is Over the search was over uh Jan and I met and it wasn't that long after we met that I decided she was the one one day she would stop
by every day after work she drove by my apartment she would stay for a couple hours and then go home and she had family obligations so I I respected her for all that but one day she every morning
she' messag me Mike how are you I'm going to work now and I I would I told her today I don't feel so well I'm going to stay home I'm not going to do nothing and I have a
little bit of a headache that's all I had was a little headache Here Comes Janet who only makes 5,000 pesos a month she can't afford to miss any work she has herself her son to support and also to
help support the family and she comes to me knocks my door takes the day off from work to take care of me and she cleaned out the apartment she cleaned everything she was very worried went out and got
me medication for my headache I was fine but the concern in her eye when she showed up showed me that she really cared about my physical well-being and there was no money involved yet at this point there was
nothing other than us seeing each other for a couple hours here and there it was it was a moment that I hadn't felt my whole life no woman has ever said uh you're not feeling well I'll stay home
and take care of you it was always uh you know they would went off to work you take care of yourself your headache will go away you're always on your own and life was so he IC back home
in the US everybody had to work every day you couldn't miss a day's work somebody was always lined up to take your job if you didn't want it or didn't show up so the stress back home made it
hard to take time off and relax and to see Janet and the care she gave me that was the ticket for me there were a bunch of other things but that was the main thing the day she did
that I think that's so powerful because of course like a lot of us guys we're initially attracted to beauty and there's tons of beautiful women here in the Philippines such that in my opinion one of the things that
you should be looking out for is not necessarily the beauty because like I said there's lots of women that meet that categorization but what you found in your wife I think is incredible character and that's something that is
also not impossible to find here but I think that it's not something that's readily apparent to you like Beauty like us guys or visual creatures we can recognize a beautiful woman we see her but when you find that
character that's something that for me personally of course I know every guy has different interests different desires but that's something that I keep an eye out for and hopefully I'll find that here I know I'll find that here
with time and that I think it's incredible too for guys that they are lonely and they know wow Mike he was single back home for a Time so so he was single for a while and he was able
to find the right one and to settle down and to build an incredible life I have the life I wanted in the West in the US the life that I always wanted I have it here now at a
fraction of the cost so I have taken the life that in my head I wanted I wanted to live in a a nice little house I wanted little piece of land and I wanted a good wife I wanted
to have big TV you know I wanted to have everything that I have good Transportation but I got it here in the Philippines at a fraction of the cost so financially it was a dream move for me you
know the stress you know money is a stressful thing uh you don't have a pension so you you know you you have to watch every piece and every dime every peso so do I so do so many other
guys but the stress level back home is so much higher than here you know you miss a car payment boom they're repoing your car people I can't believe how much things cost compared to here when you just look
at transportation and Janet and I had our motorbikes the yearly registration come up and uh with that is one years you got to get some insurance you got to get you know Insurance you got to get it registered
and here they have a smog test they call it a smoke test but they have a smog test back home how much would that cost you to buy one year's Insurance get yourself registered would your car or your
motorbike and to get the smog test I paid less than you would pay for the smog test it was 1,566 pesos for one year's insurance onee registration and the smog test and the smog test was the most expensive
of the bunch that was 566 pesos and 1,000 pesos we paid just one office uh that give us one year registration and one year Insurance you're paying more than that daily in the US a car payment and your
insurance what is your insurance a 100 bucks a month 200 a month if you're lucky if you're lucky depending on what you have yes we only have scooters but with a car it's just a little bit more it's
not a dramatic and there's no mandatory things here that you have to do there's no sales tax they do have a sales tax but it's in the price when you go to buy something and it says 120 pesos
it's 120 pesos the tax and everything's already figured into the the price of the items there's no like upcharging where you go to department store back home all right I'm buying this you know they want a service warranty
uh I got to add 8% sales tax here everything is black and white and it's just so stressfree if you hurt your wrist and you need to go see a doctor nothing major nothing that you really worried about
but you want to see a doctor it's four to8 to go see a doctor for an office phys that's like a rounding error for me for my bill bills back in the US just yeah it's just I don't
even think about that in the US you know if it's nothing catastrophic you can handle these you know if you fall off your bike you know you you sprain an ankle you break a bone all these things which
are common here are inexpensive to take care of a lot of what people talk about when it comes to inflation in the US is your their rent their transport ation their food they don't talk about medical inflation they
don't talk about the increase in health care costs that's something that I don't know for whatever reason just doesn't seem to get brought up as much but that's a major factor here I know in the back of my
mind if I have a health care need I can afford to just pay out of pocket I can go down to the hospital and I don't want to make it seem like healthc care is free here if you
have a a major problem you need stance you you have a heart attack those are going to C cost you money and the big ones are going to cost you money but for the you know fall down breaking
arm you got to scrape you got to rash you had sex with the wrong girl and you need to go get some shots or some pills these are inexpensive things that you can take care of on a daily
basis and you have to be aware of the overall cost for major medical issues and in the back of your mind in your own head as a person this is a personal choice how much insurance you have or
what kind of safety n you have for this it's a personal choice nobody can tell you how much Insurance to have if you have any at all or uh how much money they have in the bank in case
of you need you have an emergency as an emergency fund all personal choices but you look at our house here uh this we pay 600 a month for this I couldn't afford this in the US it'd be you
know 1,500 plus in a rural time at one time a guy like you an expat he was looked at as a bit Cavalier he's a guy who's going off into the frontier he's living in some country nobody's ever
heard of adventur an adventurer do you think that guys like you guys like Paul that they're helping to normalize this lifestyle and that more people due to the economics in the US in the UK you might be from
Canada or Australia will feel in a way pulled into this lifestyle some might say pushed into this lifestyle do you think the number of expats will increase in the coming years it will it will as long as the
Baby Boomers are still in large numbers but you have to take the America is a revolving door okay they need the younger healthy people to come in and work a lot of jobs cuz the older people are old
and as the revolving door if you didn't set up your life right and I'm not saying if you live here you didn't do things right but a lot of us if we had a wife kids grandkids a house
and a white picket fence we wouldn't be over here we're over here because economic reasons emotional reasons personal reasons as you get older if you want to have a comfortable life you have to find where your income fits
and that could be a retirement community that could be a assisted living community somewhere where your finances let you live comfortably and a lot of guys are leaving to go to South America Central America Asia even some places
in Europe because their money is stronger than there and they can have a comfortable way of life you know with a cost of living that it's better for them emotionally and financially to leave the US and that's the
freedom that we have As Americans a lot of people don't have this Freedom we can leave with our pension our social security and go live almost anywhere in the world and the money will follow us the government won't
say hey if you're gone too long you don't get your money as Americans we have a lot of freedom our passport is pretty damn strong there's a lot of countries that'll let us in and we tolerate us yes
you got to have money but you need less money to live in these countries than you do to live in Chicago or New York City or any of the big cities I just want to thank you so much
Mike for your time today I'm going to wrap up here we want to thank Mike for his time he's been so generous to have us here today to talk to my audience any final words Mike final words man
just enjoy your life retire if you're retire reement age don't wait too long if you can financially retire retire I know a lot of people say oh I want to keep working cuz once you quit working you die
you got to stay active you can find hobbies and many things to do if you want to travel come travel to the Philippines enjoy the Philippines learn about it and then decide what vacation or what retirement destination you
want in the future just because I'm happy here it doesn't mean everybody else is going to be happy here but it is a great place to to come they're a welcoming Community here even though there's bad things happening
in many different places and my heart goes out to the young men that got kidnapped we pray for him and his family yes and uh we we we pray everything works out there but all in all it's a
great place to live well thanks so much Mike for your time today thank you so much for watching and we'll see you soon peace out guys bye guys
