Did I Make a Mess? - My Biggest Mistakes in the Philippines 🇵🇭 (So Far)

hey YouTube Alex here and in today's video I want to answer the question what are my biggest mistakes in the Philippines thus far naturally no expat's life or journey is perfect we're all coming here with our own set

of circumstances and ways of thinking Some of which may be outdated and I wanted to get into my mistakes so far and I'm probably going to make more mistakes in the future the first mistake I've made here has

been not reading between the lines when dating at this point I have a very modest budget and I'm still exploring I'm still getting to know the culture I'm still figuring out what's out there I have made some mistakes

in dating and not understanding she's really just not that interested in me it's not a boundaries thing I respect that but certain women you know I'll chat and reach out to them and message them and they play hot

and cold that's been a common thing for me here where some days they're interested some days they're not interested some days they're interested some days they're not interested there are red flags in dating we all have our own

things that we perceive to be red flags for some guys that may be asking for money before you've ever met them for other guys it may be cutting off the supply of attention if the money doesn't show up

for me I understand some red flags I don't understand all the red flags out there there are many different red flags when it comes to dating you should research these before you come to the Philippines there's a lot

of great videos out there on dating but be mindful of these be aware of these accept that you're not too smart for any one of these issues to be a problem for you we all have different weaknesses or

different Hang-Ups or different things where our perception may be off or maybe inaccurate and I'm no and I'm not above this I'm not some dating genius I'm not some Maverick when it comes to dating I made dating mistakes

here and sunk too much time into what I thought was a potential relationship dreaming and hoping that this beautiful philipina would reciprocate would be interested in me and I would have been better off going on more first States

so this is where the solution to this I would suggest for you to avoid my mistake go on tons of First Dates now I know immediately going to get the response oh you're a chick boy no no no

no I'm not saying pursue tons of casual fun I'm saying take a bunch of different women out to coffee take a bunch of different women out to dinner go out with a lot of different people don't just assume

oh the first woman I meet is going to be the one for me don't even assume the second woman that you meet is going to be the one for you I've even said I'm not going to make this

mistake I'm not going to make that that mistake and then I proceeded to make that mistake I'm not above it us guys we are not always thinking clearly when we meet a gorgeous woman and I argue that 80%

of the women here are gorgeous so think through things read between the lines really do your best to assess is she interested in me or is she interested in something else entirely is she interested in somebody else entirely

people are fallible humans make mistakes and it's very valuable to accept reality to not project your feelings onto them to think well I like her so she must like me not always the case guys the beautiful thing about

dating here there are a lot of wonderful single women and you're not going to run out of potential Partners it's a fantastic place for dating if dating is a top priority you might even consider looking at the bigger

cities in the Philippines I think you're just going to have the law of numbers there where there's just going to be a lot more single people in general and you can go on a lot more dates you can

meet a lot of different people you can meet people from all over the country too like I found Sabu and Manila are full of philipinas from all over the country who move there for work education different purposes and

if you're in a smaller town especially one with a lot of foreigners you're just not going to stand out you're not going to be that spectacular here in dag Getti compared to being in uh either a different city

entirely or a bigger city where there's just more people and those cities will offer a lot more variety in terms of people with different kinds of Life Experiences you may be in a certain industry looking for somebody else

that also works in that industry there's a lot of factors that you could change up to kind of counteract this mistake that I've made the next mistake that I've made here in the Philippines is forgetting names and this

is a big one Filipinos and Filipinas have often very sing songy kind of names very beautiful names you see Lynn a lot you see the share they like their names their parents really pick their names out well they

differentiate themselves from the world around them through their names I found they're also very good at remembering faces recognizing faces and so it does seem to hurt people's feelings here when I forget their names you could say it's

a worldwide thing but even more so the case here where when I met somebody and I go to meet them at a later date and I can't remember their name another way you can get in trouble here is

if you've been going on a lot of dates lately and you misname the woman you're going on a date with her name's Lisa and you call her Joanne that's an awkward situation I've caught myself before I did it

fortunately I did not get a nasty look or vocalized frustration and I would have deserved it let's be honest here you can't remember somebody's name that you're on a date with maybe you're going on too many dates but

yeah that's something to think about like if you are going on a lot of dates and you're meeting a lot more people than you'd ever meet back home like back home it's rare for me to meet people um

if you go out people are kind of guarded in the United States they're not very trusting they don't really want to meet people or talking to people even in sales there's just a finite amount of people I'm going

to meet and interact with and if I'm meeting somebody in the context of work I'm meeting them to make money not because I have a personal interest I think everybody does have an agenda you just have to figure

out what it is but this is one of those places where I've made mistakes of forgetting people's names almost calling somebody by the wrong name and I don't know if it's just creating a system if you have a

system for remembering names drop it in the comments below I've heard one trick is to spell their name when you meet them but yeah I'm I'm already thinking of faces of people I remember where I don't remember their

name and I'm thinking ah this is going to be an awkward conversation next time I see them cuz doag Getti is a small town and I inevitably run into people again and again and again and I'm not looking

forward to oh and what was your name oh man so yeah avoid the embarrassment if you can try to remember people's names come up with a system to remember names to get acquainted with people to build on those

relationships people do appreciate it anywhere you go in the world when you remember their name and they feel like your interaction meant something to you and that you consider them a valuable person in your mind so even if

they're not somebody that maybe you think you'll see all the time things might change you might start seeing them more often I try to remember people's names I try to get people's names down especially if I know I'm

going to see them on a regular basis the vloggers are easy I've been watching these dag Getti vloggers for years I remember all their names I've watched countless videos by them but when it comes to the non-bloggers or

the people that you just interact with like people at restaurants hotels gyms different kinds of establishments try to get their name down it'll make them feel good it'll make you feel good it will reduce awkward situations and it's

all around just a nice thing makes people feel special makes you feel like you're integrating and you're becoming a greater part of the community that you're not just here on vacation it's something that I regret not getting better

at it's something I do work on it is a mistake that I've made here the next mistake I've made here is not downloading maps so Google Maps has a feature where you can download the map for offline use

I recommend this for everybody it's helped me in a number of different situations here in dumag Getti when we had a brown out when I ran out of data and needed to go get more load but most importantly

I was on a vacation a couple of weeks ago with a friend in Sabu Island not Sabu City right and I'm coming back to doag Getti on the bus so it just so happens my signal dropped out when

we were approaching where I needed to get on the ferry to come back to the dumag area we passed it I'm sitting there looking at my phone if I had downloaded the map I would have been able to

flag the driver down because it would have continued to update and real time and I wouldn't have missed that quicker stop off and route back to daget it cost me an additional at least hour hour and a half

not the end of the world but if you have a certain obligation like a special obligation an appointment something that you can't afford to miss then downloading maps will eliminate that problem I was ready to get back sleep

in my own bed I was pretty tired it was a wonderful getaway but I like my Creature Comforts here in dumag Getti and so having that map downloaded I have a map downloaded for offline use of dumag city

but I didn't think ahead of time hey I should download one of SAU Island that way when we go up there and we part ways for me to come back down to the city then I don't have to

think about it I don't have to hope that we have consistent I don't have to hope for consistent data access which it's generally good here in the Philippines it's come a long way since 5 years ago but there

are days of inclement weather there are times where it's a little bit iffy those times you could avoid with downloading maps for offline usage on Google it is free to do this I haven't paid a dime for the

service it's not sponsored here but Google has a lot of great services like YouTube but they also have a lot of great services like Google Maps my preference is Google Maps as far as Maps services and this Google

Maps is also great for navigating cities right if you're a newcomer here to the Philippines and you go to Sabu City you go to Manila you come here to do meete and you don't have data for whatever reason

maybe you're fresh off the plane maybe your data plan expired you bought a different plan than the one you thought that you wanted maybe you buy a new service right maybe you switch from one provider to another having

those offline maps will help you a lot um it can help you to figure out where your hotel is it can help you figure out where a certain restaurant is maybe you want to go check out the coffee

shops you've heard about here in Dumaguete you want to go down to one of the malls having the offline map will save you so many hassles so many headaches I can't recommend it enough there's so much convenience to

be found there and maybe you download that offline map you get to dagate you're trying to find a place where you could buy a SIM card and without even having yet bought a data package you route to the

data service provider and then you pop that SIM card in now you've got data you don't have to worry about it having those Digital Services here will make your travels your xat life so much easier it's something I

can't recommend enough shout out to my channel member and friend Eric who suggested this tip to me and I'm grateful for these kinds of services they're really good for newcomers and they will help you navigate effectively I think

this is even more so the case if you go to a big city like Manila or SAU these are huge cities Deval for example while your driver if you hire a grab driver or you hire a taxi driver

they're going to know their way around the city most likely but you're a newcomer you don't quite know your way around I feel very safe here in the Philippines but if you are not accustomed to traveling overseas like

I am having these map services will really help you out like I said there's no char you don't have to worry about paying a subscription fee or anything like that just download have the extra space in your phone

for these downloads think you can download them on computers as well so you might want to have one on your laptop for backup in case your phone runs out of battery you can't charge it then maybe you've got

your laptop charged up and it's able to get you to where you need to go it's just an extra layer of comfort when you're navigating some of these really big cities in the Philippines especially because it just takes

some time to learn them and learn your way around and to get the lay of the land after a while you'll be comfortable you'll learn your way around town I know dumag Getti like the back of my hand

now you could probably put me on most any Street in the city and I'd be able to find my way to where I needed to go but it's taking me some time to get there I'm sure you'll get

there too eventually but until you do downloadable maps are fantastic the next mistake I made in the Philippines is not comparing prices when I first got here like we all do when we go somewhere new I didn't know

what the prices were so I would just shop at where I thought was convenient and there's nothing wrong with that when you first get to a place you're jet lagged you're overwhelmed you're trying to figure out how to

exchange money all these little details are tricky and confusing things that you know how to do it back in your home country without thinking about it but here it's going to take a different step-by-step process and so I

would always opt for the convenient yet expensive solution anytime I needed to make a purchase and that's fine when you first get here I don't blame people for wanting to just solve the problem but these purchases can really

add up over time there are certain there are certain products that they're identical regardless of where you buy them at uh but you're going to pay extra for purchasing them at certain locations over others and this goes for

throughout the country you probably remember back in your home country buying popcorn at the movie theater and paying these days $37 for a bucket of popcorn and yet that same popcorn at Walmart would cost 75 you will pay

for convenience anywhere in the world and it's definitely worth it when you first get here but over time these purchases can really add up you may consider if you are in a modest budget if you budget conscious that

it's worth shopping around it's worth asking longtime expats hey where do you shop for this where do you shop for that a common when I hear about is that when an xat wants to get groceries they send their

girlfriend out they actually hand her the money and send her to the market because if she's seen with him the prices are going to go up they're going to think wow she's with a wealthy Foreigner she can to

pay extra I've heard of situations where the guy sends the girlfriend out to make a purchase and then when he shows up to review all of a sudden the price goes up 20% I'll never fall to business for

trying to make a dollar that's the purpose of having any business and for the high rollers they don't care some of you guys I'm sure you're doing very well for yourselves and you don't worry about it you don't

think about it you've got a pension that's going to come in regardless of what happens and you're financially set but for the guys who are younger and have a bit more time on their hands who may be a

bit more budget conscious wanting to stretch their dollar out look for those places that the long-term residents shop at you're going to find more modest pricing and you're going to be happy with those savings this was something that

I kind of rushed into in some countries not the Philippines I've lived in hotels and I looked back and I kicked myself man if you just rented an apartment you would have either saved money or at least had

a bigger place if you hadn't booked online but actually tried to find a place through Word of Mouth you would have found a cheaper price there's so many different ways to do price comparison when you're not in a

rush when you're thinking longterm you're not just in vacation mode then it's very valuable to invest the time to figure out where can I purchase this what's it going to cost me are there multiple locations I can purchase

it at what's the most convenient place to purchase this what's the least convenient place to purchase this am I going to spend an hour to save 10 pesos absolutely not if I've got to get one or two things

I'm not going to the most budget friendly place in town that may be on the other side of town that may cost me more in transport a to get there and back then I would be saving but if

I'm doing a big trip if I'm buying something expensive it might be worth shopping around for that item it might be worth going on Facebook Marketplace and seeing what are the different options for this item might be worth

if I'm stocking up on a certain it might be worth it if I'm stocking up on a certain product okay well it costs about this here and about this there maybe even asking an xat friend send him a

message on a social media platform of your choice hey I've got to make this big purchase what do you suggest or hey I've got to do this what do you suggest they're going to know if they've been in

a place for a long enough time I have good friends that I bounce questions off of all the time there hasn't been a single time they didn't know the answer plenty of frequently asked questions relate to money I

guarantee you if you're trying to buy it you know somebody else that's had to buy it in the past and can provide insight there for you one of the tips here I would say is if you go to

a place and you only see xat shopping there be prepared to pay a premium for that if you only see well-healed local shopping there be prepared to pay a premium at that location same goes for dining same goes

for accommodation if you go to a place and you see they've got tons of people shopping there lots and lots and lots of people shopping there expect that you're not the only person that recognizes a bargain when you

see one people are going there because it's a budget friendly option where they can get the most for their money in town I have some places where I like to go clothing shopping that are very comparable to like

a RW Stress For Less or a TJ Maxx back in the US there's so many different ways to stretch your money biggest mistake I made was assuming especially my first month or two when I got here that I

should just go for the easy option that's fine when you're on vacation and you're trying to save time and you want to knock out a bunch of things in a short amount of time but if you got a

little bit more time on your hands I think it really pay off to shop around and to get to know the different options if you're enjoying this video by the way please subscribe to the channel down below it

will help you to continue to see my vide moving forward only around 23% of my audience is subscribed to the channel so yeah that would really help for you to see these videos the fifth and final mistake that

I made here in the Philippines is that I called somebody a friend too quickly now you can run into this in any xat destination you're inevitably going to meet other foreigners I've had this experience in Latin America other

parts of Southeast Asia it's just going to happen and you may have not had as many friends back home just because of being busy I mean I moved moved around a lot there are a lot of different reasons

as to why why we come to these expat destinations with limited social connections I'm not going to say zero I definitely have friends back home but you move halfway across the country you don't get to see people as

often you drift apart and you may be feeling a little bit lonely like ah man you know I really want to go and meet people and when you come to the Philippines especially you can presume the majority of

foreigners speak English they're able to communicate effectively they can talk to you they can relate to you you and have shared experiences of working in the US or working in Australia Canada and you might be thinking wow we're

friends very quickly as Mike of Mike's Philipine retirement says the friendships that you have back home it took you decades to build up I can speak for my friends most of my friends I've known for 10 years or

longer or close to 10 years other friends of mine I've been friends with for 20 years the idea that I'm going to step off the plane and meet somebody from Montana or Louisiana and we're going to instantly connect

and it's going to be like we're old friends no no no back in your home country you've had a lot of time to filter out bad people people you don't get along with people who are not looking out

for your best interests there can be this tendency oh man I finally met somebody else from the United States or Canada wherever you're from and that you could be friends with that person or those people very quickly I

think that's a mistake of the people that you meet of the expats that you meet maybe half or less will be long-term friends of yours and of those long-term friends half of those will probably just remain Facebook friends

the first thing is that these places are transient people come and go all the time every day planes land here in Dumaguete every day planes take off from here in dumag and every day they expats coming in both

directions some people they come thinking it's going to be a Lifetime move they get tired of it after a month they go somewhere else in the country others find hey you know what I want to go to Latin

America I want to go to Europe some of it is not even that things go south or something bad happens it just happens you're going in two different directions in line some of it is shared values sometimes you

just find out you have a certain set of values the other person has a different set of values you find out something about somebody that makes you not want to be friends with them they may have a rap

sheet they may be running from some kind of major disqualifying issue they tried to keep hidden there could be any number of reasons as to why a friendship doesn't work out I find that what I have in expat

hotspots a ton of acquaintances and typically very few friends I could probably count my real friends here on like one hand you want to be friendly you want to be friends with other people it takes you a long

time to sus out who you can and can't trust people reveal their true character over time somebody that's really nice for a week and this goes for romantic relationships as well a month later you find out wow I

really don't like to be around that person they exhibit some behaviors that they were keeping on the down low they were on their best behavior they can't keep the mask on anymore they've got this tendency to be toxic

and they're really good at initial Impressions but after the initial Impressions wear off they really aren't the person that I thought they were so that's a mistake that I've made is being too quick to call people friends be

cautious be more guarded take your time getting to know people don't share all of your personal information don't tell them oh I live in this neighborhood and I eat at this restaurant I'm here every week at this time

you don't know their backstory you don't know what their nature is like right off the bat within a week or two they might be giving you a fake name right I mean they could be giving you all kinds

of details that are total lies you're probably not going to have the time to research these people I mean most of us when we meet somebody new we don't go home and put them into a background Checker we

don't necessarily ask around town hey did you meet this person what do you think about them toxic people that are self-aware they know their behavior is problematic and rather than trying to improve it or to heal they try

to get better at hiding it and some get very very good at hiding it over the course of their lifetime I'm not suggesting you can't have friends here I found some great friends here people that will be lifelong

friends to me but take your time don't rush into it don't assume that just cuz you're from the same country or you work in the same industry or you speak the same language that somebody's going to automatically be

your friend fortunately I haven't suffered that much based on this mistake but I could have saved time for people I get along with better time that could have been SP at doing other things thank you so much for

watching let me know what you think down in the comments below what are some of the mistakes you've made in your expat Journey your life overseas it always helps to generate great interesting discussion next give us a thumbs

up it helps with the YouTube algorithm and finally subscribe to the channel down below if you want to see more content like this and we'll see you soon bye-bye