Hey YouTube, Alex here.
And in today's video, I want to talk about cringe or annoying expat archetypes, phrases associated with these archetypes that you're going to encounter in Southeast Asia, Latin America, probably wherever you go.
Cuz I think that they're just common tropes that get passed around and get repeated.
I've heard them from people like broken records.
and I'll go ahead and get into the first archetype.
This is the one that I find most bothersome, but all five can be annoying to deal with.
So, the first one is the expat apologist.
The expat apologist is constantly acting as an apologist for that country, that city, the people in that country or city.
And they have a double standard.
If the local person does something wrong, it's totally okay.
If an expat does that exact same thing, it's totally unacceptable.
And these types will often get angry if you point out any criticism, any critique of a country, a culture, problems within that country.
Some of them have gotten raging mad at me or friends of mine.
How dare you?
They have this savior complex where they think it's their duty to defend the honor of this country where they would never be granted citizenship or have equal rights.
For some reason, this is just a common thing that happens.
You'll hear it all the time.
The people here are so nice.
They're so nice.
Well, yeah, you're on vacation.
You throw money around.
You're in service situations constantly.
Yeah, people are going to be pretty nice when it's their job.
They're literally paid to be nice to you.
Doesn't mean they're mean.
It doesn't mean they're jerks.
I found people everywhere to not be the same, but many people have similar motivations, right?
They're seeking out similar things.
A lot of people want to have a happy social circle, whether that be family or friends, and they just go about different ways of getting that or they have different opportunities to pursue that.
And so, if you're a waiter and your job is to provide service to people, yeah, you're going to be pretty nice.
You're going to be a pretty friendly, hospitable person.
[snorts] If you're an expat and you're retired and you got all this money, you're going to rent a nice place to live.
Yeah, the service is probably going to be decent.
Yeah, they're probably going to be friendly.
They probably want you to maintain your teny.
If you have a certain restaurant you like to go to that's pretty nice for the area, yeah, if they're serving $10 a plate dinners and the average person in that town makes 200 bucks a month, maybe a h 100red bucks a month.
Yeah, they're probably going to be pretty nice.
If you don't speak the language, you have no idea what people are saying.
I've heard some funny stuff when I Spanish in particular.
When I learned Spanish, I heard some funny stuff in Latin America around foreigners where the foreigners didn't know what was being said, but I did.
And I've heard that even like in Mexico where I would hear people making fun of foreigners sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes the foreigners just eating it up.
Oh, these people are so nice.
They're so nice.
They're so nice.
They're so nice.
And I'm not saying they're not.
But what's often mistaken for nice is cheerfulness, is politeness, is a non-confrontational attitude.
It's not necessarily [snorts] nice.
nice is just thrown around all the time when it comes to expat life and you have these apologists that if you describe a negative experience you had with a local, oh, you're racist, you hate these people, you just hate the locals, go back home if you don't like it.
That's a phrase you're going to hear if you have anything negative to say as an expat around these apologist types.
If you don't like it, just go home.
That attitude is not what led to the success of the west.
The attitude that led to the success of the west.
Part of it is critical thinking.
How do we make this better?
How do we improve things?
How do we make things safer?
How do we make things more efficient?
How do we make things more fair?
Not just, ah, it's all good.
There's no problems here.
Everything's cool.
And so these apologists when you bring that ideal of the west in my opinion one of the best things about living in a western democracy they get upset it's like well yeah that's why this is stagnant.
That's why this seems to be a problem year after year after year is that nobody's saying anything about it.
Nobody is willing to or capable of making a positive change because nobody wants to confront the problem.
And in some ways, like I said, this is a positive.
It's nice to not have people frustrated, aggressive, angry, but at other times, it just allows problems to continue to get worse.
Things would be better if the apologist could at least be intellectually honest and not try to shout people down.
Now, I found the apologists typically benefit from some of the issues in that country.
They actually like that things are kind of messed up because they have a better dating experience or they get to live in a way that they wouldn't be able to live back home.
They get to get away with behavior that in some cases be illegal back home.
And that's what's frustrating about them to me is they are hypocritical.
and they are intellectually dishonest.
Sometimes I wonder, well, is it good that they're not in America anymore?
I feel like they wouldn't really contribute to America.
But on the other hand, I'm like, well, I feel like they make this other country worse.
Number two is bedroom deviants.
Unfortunately, due to lacks enforcement in some expat destinations, due to corruption, due to many different factors, you will meet not everybody, not even a large majority, but a certain number of bedroom deviants.
These are despicable people that travel abroad looking to prey upon unsuspecting victims to take advantage of poverty in these countries, these places.
You will encounter these people and you will probably feel powerless to deal with it.
There are no other countries that deal with it.
There are good officials that want to tackle this issue, but it's inconsistent.
And this is something that you will likely encounter eventually if you stay abroad long enough in countries that have high rates of poverty, high rates of economic struggle, economic instability.
And it's really tragic, but this is a really harmful type of expat that is insidious that there's unfortunately these guys, they know that in the west they are regarded with disgust, disdain, people really don't like them and they probably would end up incarcerated in the West, but in this other country, take your pick.
Then they're able to pay their way out of problems.
They're able to provide money to officials.
They're able to work their way around punishment.
They're able to get around prosecution.
They can pad the pockets of people who are supposed to be handling this issue.
And also, the resources aren't there.
I mean, the United States has welle equipped law enforcement, but some other countries may just not have the money to really fund law enforcement to the extent they're able to tackle these issues.
Law enforcement that doesn't get paid very much, they may be more prone to being compensated to look the other way.
But that's something that you will see outside of the developed world.
Does that mean it doesn't happen in the US?
It's not what I'm saying.
Everybody knows about Epstein.
It's going to be more in yourrface in other countries.
And this has happened in numerous countries I've visited.
And I'm not picking on any one country.
I don't even think that the majority of the people in those countries support it.
I think there's just more room to fall through the cracks compared to the developed world.
Some of these people I've encountered, they will try to normalize it.
They will try to tell you it's totally acceptable.
I feel so disgusted by these people just thinking about these individuals that I've encountered that I hate to even go further into it.
But just be prepared for that.
I mean, think about any country that you want to go to that's maybe hard up and Google foreigner arrested in such and such country and eventually you'll come across news stories uh people getting in trouble, people getting turned away at the airport.
Evil is real.
That's something that I've learned in my expat journey is I've become more in touch or acquainted with the presence of evil in the world.
And it will probably weigh heavy on you if you have any empathy or compassion, sympathy for the innocent people out there.
I've had people try to justify, well, the locals do.
I don't care what the locals do, man.
I don't care what you say that the locals do.
Two wrongs doesn't make a right.
It's really irrelevant.
I don't want to be around people that try to justify the harming of innocent children, innocent women, innocent men, people of all ages.
There's [snorts] no excuse for it.
But you will meet those apologists.
They will try to convince you that their deviant behavior is totally normal, that there's nothing wrong with how they operate or what they do, that it's totally okay in other cultures.
Other cultures find it to be part for the course.
Whether it is or is not acceptable in another culture is irrelevant.
I know that it's not acceptable in our culture in the West.
That is good enough for me to condemn that type of expat, do not want to be around that type of expat and to encourage you if you see or encounter that type of expat to report it to relevant authorities.
This expat will always start by saying it's normal in this culture.
This behavior is normal.
The next one is the anti-western women warrior.
And this is a bit of a controversial one because I know the appeal for a lot of guys to move abroad is dating options.
And I get that.
I've had my own dating issues in the West.
My track record ain't perfect.
Where I differ, but where I differ, dog, dude.
The main challenge that I see here is when I have conversations with guys abroad and they always want to dog on western women and there are challenges getting the west.
I think it's an issue across western society and it's a complex issue but not all women in [snorts] America that I've dealt with have been bad.
I've actually met quite a few really nice ladies and I met some dirt bag guys as well and I don't really like this idea of all or this or all or that.
I think a lot of these vloggers that say this stuff are pandering to the audience.
I look at it like at the very least, how about your mom?
How about your sister?
Are they western women?
I get it.
Some people have abusive parents.
I get it.
Some people have abusive siblings.
But this idea that everybody is abusive just based on their gender or their race or whatever background they have is a copout and a cope.
And often it is a lack of self-reflection.
It's not an acknowledgment of you know what, I made some mistakes.
A lot of these guys that complain about Western women, I've never once heard them say, you know what, I wasn't the best boyfriend.
I wasn't the best husband.
I wasn't doing what I needed to do to maintain a healthy relationship.
I had mistakes that I made and I found this place gives me a second chance.
It's always bashing and criticism.
And I think it's just something people say to feel good about themselves when they don't want to take accountability or responsibility or agency.
It's like you chose the people you wanted in your life, not your family necessarily, but your relationships.
And maybe you're not the best judge of character.
I had to have that acknowledgement.
I was not a great judge of character when I was younger.
I've gotten better at it.
But it took me a long time to learn how to differentiate between people who are good for me and not good for me.
And I just don't like this attitude at all.
One of the best bosses, several of the best bosses I've ever had at work were women.
Not all were women, but some were women and treated me fairly nicely.
And it seems like they had good relationships with their significant others for what I could tell they seemed generally happy in life.
So this idea that it's oh it's their fault.
Well, no.
The West is going through economic challenges and it's going through a downshift economically.
There's unfortunately this sense that there's a lot more poverty in the West and what is admitted prices are very high.
There's been a lot of wage stagnation.
that seems to affect all people, not just men, not just women.
It's a much more complex issue.
And I just get tired of people bashing entire groups of people and not adding nuance to the conversation or acknowledging some of the greater factors that play in society.
Cuz I've met a lot of great women in the West, met a lot of great women in Asia.
I don't think that people are good or bad based on their geographic location.
A lot of these guys, too, after I've gotten to know them, I'm like, it's not Western women.
It's women in general that you don't like.
It doesn't have anything to do with their nationality or their ethnicity.
You've just come over here because you want to exploit.
You want to take advantage of poverty.
You want to take advantage of people who are in desperate circumstances.
You want to use people and you don't want people that have an alternative.
The West, in spite of, I think, a decrease in wealth, is actually still pretty wealthy.
And a lot of women in the West have opportunities to self-actualize, to move up in the business world, the working world.
They can turn guys down because they're more capable of supporting themselves.
And I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.
I find a lot of these guys are disingenuous and and they want to play the victim card when really it's like, no, you're just not a relationship type.
I've seen guys complain about Western women, go to Asia, and then get divorced over there, too.
It's like, okay, so the common the common person here is you.
It's not the women here or the women there.
It's you are a person that is not capable of maintaining healthy relationships.
and have that self-awareness.
Just say, you know what, I'm not cut out for relationships.
I've got to work on myself.
I need to seek therapy.
I need to take some steps to think about what I'm doing wrong here.
I need to make other plans and just accept that maybe I'm better off being a bachelor.
But some people, they don't ever develop that self-awareness.
They don't ever develop that self-reflection, that acceptance of reality, willingness to grow.
It's not me that's the problem.
It's always them.
That's not that's not always the case.
Are there problem women in the west?
Sure there are.
That's true for anywhere you go.
I find that a lot of relationship problems in the west, not all but many, can be traced back to economic problems.
The west is becoming more economically unstable and that's going to lead to relationship stress.
The top reason for divorce is money problems.
So that's where a lot of the blame should lie should be an economic mismanagement of the western democracies much more so I think than other issues.
People expected an everinccreasing standard of living and that seems to be going in reverse and a lot of people find that that decline in standard of living affects relationships.
Yeah.
I mean, you used to eat steak, now you eat chicken.
You used to go on vacation twice a year.
Now you go once every other year.
You used to go to this really high-end beach, now you're going to a more middle of the road beach.
The decline in standard of living has a direct impact on people's lives, people's enjoyment of life.
The last thing that I'll say to the apologists is that expats are supporting local businesses.
They are buying homes that they often cannot legally own and dating women that may be down and out.
I've noticed that it's often the down and out women that many expats seem to date.
I don't think that's an absolute thing, but most of the time in a country that's traditional, there's pressure for more affluent women to date.
affluent local men where, for example, the single mom is going to probably have a harder time.
The next point I have for you here is the other country hater.
And you'll find this in any country you go to.
I've noticed that this is really pronounced in Southeast Asia.
I'm not going to get into the local perspective on this, more so the expat perspective, but I've heard in many of the countries, oh, don't go to that other country, it's awful.
You need to stay here, and they list off all these different reasons why.
Or you'll hear the reverse when you go to that country.
Don't go to the country you just came from because it's so awful.
I found this often comes from a place of ignorance.
people who haven't really traveled much.
There's plenty of people who they settle down the first country they research.
No country is really better than any others.
They just have different strengths, attributes, and also weaknesses.
And so, really, it's about trade-offs.
If there was one expat destination that was perfect, everybody would go there.
[snorts] But most places have tradeoffs.
They may have really good English, but this other thing is not so good.
Or this other thing is great.
They may have great food, but they don't have English.
So, whichever country you choose is going to be imperfect.
And anybody that says otherwise is not being totally truthful and has motivated reasoning.
They want to back up the choice they made rather than to acknowledge that there's many great options.
People are living abroad in many different countries.
I'd say at least 30, maybe 40 depending on how you count of places that are pretty decent places to live.
Decent weather, decent food, decent culture.
It's not as if one place is the end all beall.
And so you really have to ignore the other country hater, the expat that's an absolutist about where they like to be.
I think that you could definitely get merits from some of these guys about the place they've chosen.
But also, if they're being honest, they might share some of the challenges and explain to you that you may want to take a look at A, B, and C other places because they may have something that we don't have.
It's really a choose your own adventure experience.
The final expat persona that I don't really care for is the millionaire next door.
You are going to meet the Bill Gates or Steve Jobs of your home country in every country you go to.
Eventually, it's going to come out of the woodwork.
My budget is no less than $20,000 per month.
I can't imagine spending a dime less.
I get in every time I make a video talking about some of the economic realities of expats.
I know numerous wealthy people here in the United States that would never go abroad.
Why would they go abroad when their lifestyle is in effect subsidized?
Taxes pay for a police force.
They don't have to have private security.
They can choose to live in a community that's pretty safe.
They don't have to live with high bars and gates and fences and guard dogs.
They also have the second amendment when it comes to produce.
They could choose to live in a part of the country where there's a lot of fresh, healthy produce and restaurants that serve health foods.
Any kind of diet they want, whether it be vegan or carnivore and everything in between is available.
Their healthc care is subsidized.
The United States serves as a magnet for wealthy people from all over the world.
There's many, many wealthy people here who would never consider going abroad.
Now, some people will say, "Well, yeah, I'm wealthy, but not that well." Which is it?
Are you super wealthy and successful in the United States or are you not super wealthy and successful in the United States?
So really wealth is like a spectrum or a scale and for the most part if you're super wealthy you don't really need to go abroad.
So I'm immediately skeptical.
A lot of these guys gals are scammers.
they're probably running some sort of con of oh I'm really successful in business so you can trust me with some investment scheme property scheme crypto scheme you name it kind of scheme that they've concocted so yeah I would say another thing many wealthy American people not all but there's a substantial number of them that they also have interpersonal connections here in the US why would I move halfway around the world when I've got children grandchildren a community, maybe a church that I'm a part of.
Most of the people moving abroad have at least one thing seriously out of whack in their life for them to consider going abroad.
It's not everybody's messed up that goes abroad, but there's a reason you don't hear about Bill Gates moving to Southeast Asia.
You don't hear about Mark Zuckerberg, oh, I'm going to move to Eastern Europe.
You don't hear about Tiger Woods.
I'm going to move to South America.
It's just not really practical.
So, a lot of people will exaggerate their accomplishments when they become an expat.
It's a chance to reinvent themselves.
If they weren't particularly spectacular in their home country, then they can uh create some kind of mythos about how they want to live.
I find that a lot of people will say it's really the 10 to20 million net worth range that would be wealthy in the United States.
So, you'll meet a lot of people that will have like a 1 million net worth.
Don't get me wrong, that's an accomplishment by global standards.
That's a pretty hefty accomplishment.
A million dollars is not what it used to be.
You're not flying all over the United States.
You're not staying in fivestar hotels.
You're not eating Michelin star dinners every night at that level of wealth.
It's not anything to be embarrassed about.
When these people start telling you about how successful they are and how accomplished they are, your radar should be going off.
Something's not right.
I've had this experience in many different expat destinations about people telling you how wealthy they are, how they live in a multi-million dollar place in a country where they can't legally own a single family home, I should say, or land.
Maybe they can own a condo, but there's very few condos that command that kind of price range throughout Southeast Asia.
There's neighborhoods and there's places where that exists.
There's not really much benefit for a wealthy expat to go around telling people, "Oh yeah, I'm such a hot shot." Even though the majority of the people in this country live in dire poverty, I don't.
There's a reason why.
I'm use Colombia as an example.
I was in a neighborhood called Usakan in Colombia and this is like North Bogatas.
So this is some of the wealthiest neighborhoods in Colombia, wealthiest urban neighborhoods in Colombia.
Every single apartment building I saw in that area had armed security, cameras all over it, tall fences.
This is not a country where wealthy people feel particularly safe to go around.
I mean, I wanted to walk five blocks in this neighborhood.
friend of mine had a condo or apartment on the edge of this neighborhood.
He said, "Don't even walk five blocks." That's what a serious problem robbery is.
I know every country is not Colombia.
But I find a lot of these millionaire next door types really exaggerate their wealth.
They're braggadocious and they lack that self-awareness to realize the wealthy people from this country often don't want to show off, don't want to draw unnecessary attention to themselves, and so you shouldn't either.
Really, if you're very wealthy and you want to be more showy or show offy, the United States is actually pretty good.
Police are pretty responsive and honest.
You have the Second Amendment to protect yourself.
You can choose to move to high stress communities more easily.
You speak the language.
Yeah.
I mean, going to a country that is very, very poor and wanting to show off and brag is not good.
I'm not saying there's no wealthy expats.
I am saying that I don't care for the archetype that needs extra praise or pats on the back or any of that kind of thing.
Finally, this person is always talking about, "Oh, it's so cheap here.
It's so cheap." They'll even say this in front of local service staff who may make a dollar or two an hour.
Ah, it's so cheap here.
And it's so contrived.
I have to suffer secondhand embarrassment when this happens.
And I've mentioned to many local friends, hey, I understand this country is economical or cheap, if you want to use that word, to foreigners like myself, but for you, a person who's working, trying to make an honest living, working hard, it's not a particularly cheap place to live.
That's something I think that often gets overlooked that a lot of expats don't really acknowledge.
I'm not saying we need to worship local people, but I also think keeping in mind the struggle that a lot of people have in the modern world and being in touch with that reality and not being so in your face about what a high life we're able to live with our western currency.
So anyway, I hope you enjoyed this video.
This video has been five expat personas I don't like or that I find annoying.
Let me know what you think down in the comments below.
Do you disagree with these?
Do you agree with these?
Have you been any of these?
I know I've probably been at least one of these.
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